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Project by LittleBlackDuck posted 11-04-2017 01:44 PM 888 views 0 times favorited 21 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Boys and girls, This is not a how to do tutorial, but a how to learn documentary!

Anyone that has read any of my previous posts should by now realise I am not the greatest fan of the reading art. If you haven’t read any, be emphatically told… I hate reading!

Before you sit down and get comfortable in reading this article, let me digress a tad.

Many, many (x40) years ago when I commuted to work, I always did The Age cross word (both normal and cryptic) on the 60 minute train trip home. I would always get about 80% (of both) complete but got kaboshed on the remaining few words. Once I got home, I headed for the think room (the loo) and solved both within 1 (or if difficult 2) minutes…

I soon discovered where my brain functioned the best.

Down the track, while constructing an erection (building type), I slipped and while grabbing hold of what was available,

severed my finger (OK it was a thumb but who’s counting) near off, cutting through sinews and nerves, only to be apprehended by some ridiculous bone in the digit…

It still hurts to point to it…

I’ll spare you the details of driving to the hospital with blood gushing (and then having to clean that bloody (no pun intended) car afterwards).

After having discovered the secret of my previous toilet insurgence, with my hand in plaster, I had problems opening and supporting a “book” in one hand. I eventually discovered that an ironing board can be used for other purposes than a sand surfboard,

When my hand recovered I felt a bit effeminate using the ironing board to have a crap so I built myself the subject portable library shelf.

While I still hate reading, I might as well spend the throne room time productively.

The structure was built out of pine using dovetail joins on both the carcass and the drawers. I deliberately left off the drawer face plate to display the dovetails for anyone else contemplating whatever they contemplate while meditating on a dunny… when not reading!
The drawer houses all the equipment a woodworker may need in a loo (last gallery picture). Hey… how you use them… there… I’ll leave to your imagination (especially the picks). You can build up your own arsenal (again no bum intended) to suit your kink!
Did I mention the shelf was made using a sliding dovetail… If I didn’t I’m sorry, and if I did, I’ll repeat that the shelf was made using sliding dovetails…

BTW. In my past life, I used to be a ski instructor… now you know where I learnt to ski…

many a household items, like my wet-suit were repaired by the aid of this manual,

and as for medicine, my Funk & Wagnell saved many a lives,

So if you want to be a better woodworker… set up a library in the loo!

Bottom (again no pun intended) line… If you think some of my ideas smell…

Well now you know why!

PS. Should upgrade my library to a tablet (NO… not a suppository)!

PPS. Please note the deliberate absence of this duck out of the photos. I forgot to pull my knickers up, and for the sake of reader envy, I left those pictures out.

—If your first cut is too short… Take the second cut from the longer end… LBD

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD





21 comments so far

View pottz's profile

pottz

2132 posts in 801 days


#1 posted 11-04-2017 04:06 PM

ah wisdom from the duck,love it.i like your little library but for me I don’t spend enough time in there to even get started reading.the tool collection is a little unusual though for the loo,but if it works I say go for it.i gotta say ducky you always amuse me buddy!

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View Redoak49's profile

Redoak49

2856 posts in 1805 days


#2 posted 11-04-2017 04:21 PM

What an excellent idea for continuing education.

I really want to know what direction toilets flush down under.

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

1274 posts in 637 days


#3 posted 11-04-2017 08:37 PM


... I don t spend enough time in there to even get started reading…

- pottz

pottzy, now you know why I read so little… can’t stand the smell (of books of course)!


I really want to know what direction toilets flush down under.

- Redoak49


Wise question Red’, fortunately downwards and not up… otherwise I’d be called freckles and not LBD!

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

4390 posts in 2021 days


#4 posted 11-04-2017 09:23 PM

WTH!

This is not a project !
Only 5 pictures where there should be six
No construction story whatsoever, just a cubit of some education history.

I am with Pottzy the toilet is an anoying part of life at my age, constantly interupting my woodworking, especially if its cold.

Now back to the “Project” considering the facts I have detailed above it looks like an Ikea buy in to me, hence adding methane fuel to my case.

As for your reported injury I see no evidence of scarring, (which if did actually occur and not an over exeraduated small splinter) scarring should be present.

What is that ridicious red arrow all about? I could do better with my Sketch O Graph
Again no gory pictures to support the claim. as for falling did you forget to flap your wings and land safely.

Now if you had fallen off the dunny and gashed your hand on the porcelain I could believe that!

Also being a ski Instructor, come on how would you fit skis to web feet… unheard of ..and whilst on the BSing trail
me having a Phd in Physics set about busting the myth about the directionof water down under.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/vs-lumberjocks.com/oyww7ov.jpg!

Still work in progress.

Oh that “Project”

what with all the odd tools in the drawer, a Tape measure OMG a pair of side cutters? a combination square? just sit up straight and it will happen automaticly? pen and paper and thts not all of them what about the event counter? do you really need to record every event! ....funny story did you hear about the constipated mathatician …??? needed a pencil to work it out !!

Some sort of magnetic angle device, what do you eat in Victoria? and many other weird items not really belonging in the loo. Its a wonder there is not a chain saw on the shelf below for the really tough Hungrian Ferns.

Othrwise take care dont injure yourself enjoy your F &W and it looks like you did a nice little dunny cupboard.

-- Regards Robert

View crowie's profile

crowie

1991 posts in 1768 days


#5 posted 11-04-2017 09:39 PM

What can I say…..

I just get into trouble from the family for Sitting, Thinking and Stinking…..

-- Lifes good, Enjoy each new day...... Cheers from "On Top DownUnder" Crowie

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

4390 posts in 2021 days


#6 posted 11-04-2017 10:28 PM

Opps forgot to mention I tried to hide my physics experiments Just in case you barfed on the keyboard!!

Its annoying you cannot edit posts after rolling on the floor laughing and then drying your eyes and see all the spelling mistakes that you have made which need attention.

Also I forgot to ask did you do any ironing for the wife as I see a power point in the dunny as well ..another odd fact, speaking of dunnies have you seen Pottzs dunny is almost 5 star Motel design

-- Regards Robert

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

1274 posts in 637 days


#7 posted 11-05-2017 12:07 AM


https://s3.amazonaws.com/vs-lumberjocks.com/oyww7ov.jpg!

- robscastle


Whoa there hoss! You makin’ fun of my duckpond?

Those tools were just a prop to link this PROJECT post to woodworking tools. I usually keep my Playboys in the drawer under lock and key but the LJ censors might have deleted the picture.

As for being a ski instructor and webbed feet…. where did I say I skied… One doesn’t have to be an idiot to tell others they are!

I sniffed out pottzy’s throne room and while it’s impressive, I wasn’t impressed with the lack of book shelves… sorry pottzy, no intention to take the crap out of your dunny… I’d rather leave it there in your bowl!

I could go on and pick your picks to pieces but I now have to go to my “library” and read a book.

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

View pottz's profile

pottz

2132 posts in 801 days


#8 posted 11-05-2017 12:29 AM

damn rob you are on fire today buddy!what kind of crap are you guys talkin about!!!-LOL.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

4390 posts in 2021 days


#9 posted 11-05-2017 01:15 AM

Ah yes Pottzy you can tell its Sunday here, the idle hands kick in

A man after my own heart Alex. In fact I was going to ask about their wereabouts.

A bit of nostalga Mar 1981 Penthouse I have an original copy! cannot show the full cover (nudity)

I keep it as it featured an article on the Yamaha XY 750.

I had one years ago it went like a rocket, standing start 0 to 130 easly and possibly faser if you were game, I was not.
One night a drunk girl on her mobile phone walked out in front of me when I was coming back from Uni I wiped her out and the bike unfortunately.

Now I have a K1100 BMW with collision avoidance equipment fitted to prevent further accidents.

Sadly I dont ride it any more!

Should get it out and do terror run to Churchill !

-- Regards Robert

View pottz's profile

pottz

2132 posts in 801 days


#10 posted 11-05-2017 01:39 AM

Ah yes Pottzy you can tell its Sunday here, the idle hands kick in.-rc.

well its saturday night here and im out poppin a few good bottles,too bad you cant hop on that bike and get over here and we could do “some woodworking” buddy?-HA! hell you can even bring ducky but afraid hed spend all night in the loo!

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

1274 posts in 637 days


#11 posted 11-05-2017 02:20 AM


... Should get it out and do terror run to Churchill !

- robscastle

rc, I grew this beard (and moltly hair) so I could blend in with the fraulines down here in Churchill.

I really don’t think you could terrorize anyone down here, in fact they’ll (the fraulines) will convert your scooter into a plane… sent it flying!


... well its saturday night here…

- pottz

potzzy, You guys can’t help ALWAYS being ”behind”... it was my thought of the Yankee ”behind” that prompted my post about my dunny!
Hey, Your throne room is still flush with me!

PS. What puts the reserve to a few frothies only on a Saturday night???

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

View pottz's profile

pottz

2132 posts in 801 days


#12 posted 11-05-2017 02:33 AM


... Should get it out and do terror run to Churchill !

- robscastle

rc, I grew this beard (and moltly hair) so I could blend in with the fraulines down here in Churchill.

I really don t think you could terrorize anyone down here, in fact they ll (the fraulines) will convert your scooter into a plane… sent it flying!

... well its saturday night here…

- pottz

potzzy, You guys can t help ALWAYS being ”behind”... it was my thought of the Yankee ”behind” that prompted my post about my dunny!
Hey, Your throne room is still flush with me!

PS. What puts the reserve to a few frothies only on a Saturday night???

- LittleBlackDuck


yeah ducky but that lets us see in advance all the mistakes those a day ahead make and avoid the same buddy!like never doing a post post about what goes on in your dunny-lol.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

1274 posts in 637 days


#13 posted 11-05-2017 03:43 AM



yeah ducky but that lets us see in advance all the mistakes those a day ahead make and avoid the same buddy!
- pottz

Typical military… always want someone else to go point!

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

1274 posts in 637 days


#14 posted 11-05-2017 03:56 AM


A bit of nostalga Mar 1981 Penthouse I have an original copy! cannot show the full cover (nudity)

- robscastle


Don’t know how I didn’t bite on this one. Nevertheless… put some clothes on and then show others the cover…

I have a personal autographed copy of that issue by Bobby (Guccione) ... AND hand delivered by Delfina herself! Blondes have more fun… that’s why I never dyed my hair…

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

4390 posts in 2021 days


#15 posted 11-05-2017 04:26 AM

Oh yes I dusted off the mag and took a second look sure enough there she is Delfina Ponti
So the ski intructor is for real!... you lucky B…. the Face she has drawn even looks like you!

Rummaging through all the Mags I have hidden away I pulled out a flag and the OMSK Siberian Ice Marathon I participated in with a friend in 2004,... I had forgotten they were even there!

Here is the Flag:

And a close up of the compeditors medalion I didnt get any impressive position, I just finished.

Its actually a Serbian flag not Russian, I have no idea where I got it from,... weird eh!

-- Regards Robert

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