LumberJocks

Ax (Melee weapon)

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Project by CasanovaFrankenstein posted 08-19-2014 03:30 AM 1392 views 0 times favorited 9 comments Add to Favorites Watch

With the mounting troubles plaguing our world it is vital to everyone’s survival to have a ready made ditch bag to grab on your way out the door filled with first aid, food, survival gear, guns etc. And most importantly a melee weapon, an ax won’t run out of ammo and will come in most handy when facing an unimaginably large army of the undead relentlessly chasing you into your new future. Not everyone is going to have their own melee weapon so they will try to take it from you, so be sure to electrolytically etch your name in it. And you never know when you might need a ruler marked with inches so why not put marks on the handle in case you need to measure out the logs you’re using to barricade the door. Lastly, and dare I say most importantly, it needs to look nice hanging in your kitchen.

-- -Kyle





9 comments so far

View TheFridge's profile

TheFridge

5764 posts in 946 days


#1 posted 08-19-2014 03:35 AM

Yeah buddy. I wonder if those new axes that flip to the side would be good for zombies too?

-- Shooting down the walls of heartache. Bang bang. I am. The warrior.

View CasanovaFrankenstein's profile

CasanovaFrankenstein

31 posts in 959 days


#2 posted 08-19-2014 03:48 AM

they might work, I’ve always been partial to the Monk’s Spade for the ideal zombie fighting melee weapon. I’ll have one one day… soon.

-- -Kyle

View TheFridge's profile

TheFridge

5764 posts in 946 days


#3 posted 08-19-2014 03:52 AM

I’ll have to check it out.

-- Shooting down the walls of heartache. Bang bang. I am. The warrior.

View BigDaddyO's profile

BigDaddyO

135 posts in 2237 days


#4 posted 08-19-2014 05:16 AM

nah, axes are too slow when you are dealing with a horde. You need something quick like a machete or better yet a Kukri.

I do like the Axe though and the masonry nails look cool there.

-- www.bigdaddyoworkshop.com

View Josh's profile

Josh

19 posts in 1065 days


#5 posted 08-19-2014 02:12 PM

Reminds me of the opening notes from the book John Dies at the End by David Wong. In it he says something like (paraphrased from memory):
“Let’s say you have an axe. An undead man comes up to you and tries to bite you. You grab your axe and begin to chop his zombie body up into pieces. On the last hit, the handle breaks. After burying the remains, you go and make a new handle.
You have this hanging up in the kitchen when a year later, an evil garden slug enters into the kitchen with large fangs. After narrowly being bitten, you grab your axe and begin to dissect the slug on the linoleum. Again at the last swing, it hits a piece of metal and chips the blade. Off you go to buy a new blade for the axe and put it up on the kitchen wall again.
The very next day, the zombie you had buried in your backyard comes back to life and as you grab your axe, the zombie shouts out at you “That’s the same axe that killed me last year!”
Is he right?”

View CasanovaFrankenstein's profile

CasanovaFrankenstein

31 posts in 959 days


#6 posted 08-19-2014 03:53 PM

I haven’t read that book, but it sounds like I should.

as for the riddle, I would say yes and no. though it may not be the same physical ax that killed the zombie it still embodies the same spirit of the original in much the same way that every 10 years or so all the cells in your body are replaced meaning you are quite literally not the same person you were a decade ago… but at the same time you are.

-- -Kyle

View DGar's profile

DGar

40 posts in 1314 days


#7 posted 08-19-2014 05:53 PM

Swiss army axe?

-- "Those who are not dissatisfied will never make any progress" - Dr. Shigeo Shingo

View palaswood's profile

palaswood

940 posts in 1211 days


#8 posted 08-19-2014 05:58 PM

Cool buddy!

-- Joseph, Irvine CA, @palas_woodcraft on Instagram

View gfadvm's profile

gfadvm

14940 posts in 2150 days


#9 posted 08-20-2014 12:18 AM

“Never bring an ax to a gunfight!” Clint Eastwood misquote

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

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