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A box no father should ever have to make

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Project by Kaleb the Swede posted 93 days ago 3228 views 0 times favorited 72 comments Add to Favorites Watch

My wife and I were blessed to be told 8 months ago that we were going to have twins. We were ecstatic. The boys were growing every ultrasound we had. I teach high school guitar and orchestra for a living, so on Monday march 17th we had a snow day. That day also my wife had an ultrasound. Fortunately I was home and took her. The ultrasound technician saw that our one boys heart wasn’t beating. So we were immediately rushed across the street to have an emergency c-section. We were to have identical boys Espen and Eskil.

Eskil passed a few hours before in the morning. He never got the chance to breathe our air. Espen lived and he is home with us now.

Bittersweet is the only word to describe this. I have never been a father before and it is definitely a new and exciting experience. We still grieve for Eskil, but live in hope that we will see him again. We spread his ashes near our home in the Delaware bay so we can go and think about him. The box is to hold the small things that he had at the hospital.

Materials are white oak, of which I used for their changing table, and bubinga, which I bought s piece of and never figured out what to do with, and am glad I saved. It is partially from plans that I found in a book. (Forgive me as I never really work from plans). The finish is Danish oil rubbed with a brown paper bag, which happily made it smooth as silk.

You who are parents hug your children tonight and thank god for them every day.

Thank you for looking.

The Swede

-- Just trying to build something beautiful





72 comments so far

View firefighterontheside's profile (online now)

firefighterontheside

3336 posts in 460 days


#1 posted 93 days ago

Thanks for sharing Kaleb. This is a fine memorial and something for Espen when he grows up so that he’ll know he had a brother.

-- Bill M. I love my job as a firefighter, but nothing gives me the satisfaction of running my hand over a project that I have built and just finished sanding.

View BusterB's profile

BusterB

1350 posts in 611 days


#2 posted 93 days ago

Sorry for your loss sir. That is a fine tribute to a life taken way too soon.

-- Buster, Ocoee TN (Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place then come down and shoot the survivors - Hemingway)

View luv2learn's profile

luv2learn

1643 posts in 906 days


#3 posted 93 days ago

The fact that your hands made Eskil’s memorial box will always be a reminder of the brief father son connection you had with him. I am sorry for your loss and encouraged that you will one day be reunited with him.

-- Lee - Northern idaho~"If the women don't find you handsome, at least they ought to find you handy"~ Red Green

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hoosier0311

355 posts in 628 days


#4 posted 93 days ago

very sorry to hear of your loss. I will remember you and your family in my prayers.

-- I'm only deaf in one ear,,,,,I just can't hear out of the other one., Denny, Indiana implant, living in PA

View josh's profile

josh

885 posts in 1172 days


#5 posted 93 days ago

I too am sorry for your loss. I struggle with this everyday as my wife has had two miscarriages. I also hope you get to see your son again someday. God bless.

-- Josh; Former Pennsylvanian, current Coloradan

View Steve Kreins's profile

Steve Kreins

318 posts in 234 days


#6 posted 93 days ago

So sorry for your loss. Judy and I will be praying for comfort as you go through this pain.

-- I thank God for everything, especially all of you!

View JoeinGa's profile

JoeinGa

3104 posts in 610 days


#7 posted 93 days ago

So sad … my prayers to you and yours.

-- Perform A Random Act Of Kindness Today ... Pay It Forward

View RadioActiveRich's profile

RadioActiveRich

12 posts in 120 days


#8 posted 93 days ago

This is a beautiful tribute and I have to say a reminder of how thoughtful this community of people is.

Best wishes to you and your family Kaleb.

View XrayJay's profile

XrayJay

87 posts in 582 days


#9 posted 93 days ago

Very sorry for your loss. I wish I could do something more than pray to ease your families pain.

-- Whatever you find to do with your hands, do it with all your might,... because there is no work in the grave...Ecclesiastes 9:10

View Kaleb the Swede's profile

Kaleb the Swede

1094 posts in 572 days


#10 posted 93 days ago

Big thank you all. Prayers are always appreciated. We are doing much better. We have our good days and our harder days, but on the whole we are appreciating our time with our son at home. Thank you again for the comments

-- Just trying to build something beautiful

View gfadvm's profile

gfadvm

10598 posts in 1293 days


#11 posted 93 days ago

Kaleb, We too know you and your wife’s pain. I can’t say anything to make it better but know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

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woodchuckerNJ

868 posts in 237 days


#12 posted 93 days ago

Very sorry for your loss.

-- Jeff NJ

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BigRedKnothead

4441 posts in 585 days


#13 posted 93 days ago

It’s interesting how befriending other woodworkers via the web can take things to another level. I found myself grieving for a son…and and a father who I’ve never met in person.

“So hold me Jesus, ‘cause I’m shaking like a leaf. You have been king of my glory, won’t you be my Prince of Peace.” -Rich Mullins

-- Red -- "There's nothin' in the world so sad as talking to a man, who never knew his life was his for making." Ray LaMontagne

View MrFid's profile

MrFid

507 posts in 507 days


#14 posted 93 days ago

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the humbling reminder of what’s really important in this world, despite the incredibly unhappy circumstances that caused this reminder. I am sad that you had to go through that.

-- Bailey F - Eastern Mass.

View BentheViking's profile

BentheViking

1746 posts in 1167 days


#15 posted 93 days ago

Ive thought about how you and your family are doing many times over the last month or so

-- It's made of wood. Real sturdy.--Chubbs Peterson

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