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Mission Statements....Grrrrrr

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Blog entry by miles125 posted 10-09-2011 05:40 PM 1599 reads 0 times favorited 21 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Who invented the mission statement and is he dead yet, so we can stop seeing mindless paragraphs of pablum indistinguishable from one another on websites of people somehow convinced choice words strung together just right actually looks impressive.

I can’t say i’ve ever looked at a mission statement and said “Now this guy is a woodworker that obviously has a vision”. Has anyone else? Of course not. Quite the contrary. The slickly worded pinnacle of mission statement writing has now become synonomous with way too much hat, in the hope you wont notice the abscence of cattle.

But that’s just me and my rant for this Sunday morning.

-- "The way to make a small fortune in woodworking- start with a large one"



21 comments so far

View Bertha's profile

Bertha

12951 posts in 1349 days


#1 posted 10-09-2011 05:41 PM

I, like Miles, HATE mission statements. It represents the average output of your average “executive”.

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

View StumpyNubs's profile

StumpyNubs

6192 posts in 1456 days


#2 posted 10-09-2011 05:52 PM

My favorite mission statement:

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where…

Huh… I seem to have forgotten the last part…

-- It's the best woodworking show since the invention of wood... New episodes at: http://www.stumpynubs.com

View Bertha's profile

Bertha

12951 posts in 1349 days


#3 posted 10-09-2011 05:53 PM

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

View reggiek's profile

reggiek

2240 posts in 1926 days


#4 posted 10-09-2011 06:02 PM

I think they dropped the 5 year mission over time and added continuing mission.

The mission statement is supposed to be the morale and ethics of the company (their very basic motive for being in business)....but as mentioned….it has become some flowery buch of poof that no one pays attention to much anymore. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I do not see them going away soon….as every business plan starts with or requires a mission statement.

How about a mission statement to not have a mission statement?

-- Woodworking.....My small slice of heaven!

View miles125's profile

miles125

2179 posts in 2661 days


#5 posted 10-09-2011 07:04 PM

””How about a mission statement to not have a mission statement?””
reggiek

You may be onto something. How about…

Please view our portfolio for a mission statement worth more than any thousand words we could have put together.

-- "The way to make a small fortune in woodworking- start with a large one"

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5655 posts in 2084 days


#6 posted 10-09-2011 07:21 PM

“We don’t have no mission. We just make stuff we hope other people will buy. If they don’t, we’ll try something else”.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View pierce85's profile

pierce85

508 posts in 1218 days


#7 posted 10-09-2011 07:48 PM

Words that need to be stricken from every mission statement and perhaps the English language: inspiring, leadership, excellence, passion, and the worst of them all, solutions.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2090 days


#8 posted 10-09-2011 08:02 PM

Geez and I thought a mission statement was “Remember the Alamo: :-)

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View saddletramp's profile

saddletramp

994 posts in 1294 days


#9 posted 10-09-2011 08:05 PM

Pierce85, your leadership is inspiring a passion for excellence in me. I think that you may be the solution!

-- ♫♪♪♫♫ Saddletramp, saddletramp, I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please, saddletramp ♪♪♪♫♪ ...... Bob W....NW Michigan (Traverse City area)

View Porchfish's profile

Porchfish

574 posts in 1188 days


#10 posted 10-09-2011 08:30 PM

First ran into the “mission statement” bullshit when applying for a “resident” artists grant from the State of Florida department of Cultural Affairs in 1985. A lot of us local craftsmen got together at a local pub to decide what the hell a mission statement was ….None of us knew ! We found out from a reliable source in the state senate months later (after the expiration date for grant applications had come and gone) that the idea came from the conservative state legislature at the time that was trying to kill all funding for the arts. They got the idea from the British who had befuddled their artists by demanding “mission statements” and “Longitudinal projections” on all applications for grants. Florida legislators and their aides took up the “holy hatchet” . They thought that since they couldn’t be honest and simply kill the state funded program to support the arts, they could so foul the process that no one would qualify and they would still come out of their crap tunnel smelling like roses ! No State Resident Artist grants were funded in 1985 or 86 & 87. State of Florida , Department of Cultural Affairs grants required a “mission statement” and “longitudinal projection” from that day forth. Of Course other bureaucracies picked up on the windfall and voila everything and everyone remotely associated with ANY DAMNED BUREAUCRACY was required to produce reams of bullshit like that. This is one of the primary reason so many of us have stayed away from public galleries and sponsored events in Florida. Ain’t the bureaucratic life FUN !

-- If it smells good, eat it ! The pig caught under the fence is the one doing all thesquealing

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2090 days


#11 posted 10-09-2011 08:48 PM

WOW, I see a lot of ISSUES here. We never had any issues in the good old days (except to describe someone’s offspring), we just had problems that we solved. How do issues get solved?, do they become “issued”???? Good to know though that we don’t have any more problems to deal with today.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Rustic's profile

Rustic

3139 posts in 2252 days


#12 posted 10-09-2011 08:53 PM

Mission statements are too hard to write. so I don’t.

-- www.carvingandturningsbyrick.com, Rick Kruse, Grand Rapids, MI

View StumpyNubs's profile

StumpyNubs

6192 posts in 1456 days


#13 posted 10-09-2011 09:12 PM

WOW- Porchfish has held that all in for a looooooong time…

-- It's the best woodworking show since the invention of wood... New episodes at: http://www.stumpynubs.com

View lilredweldingrod's profile

lilredweldingrod

2495 posts in 1762 days


#14 posted 10-09-2011 09:24 PM

My Mission Statement:To screw the government out of as much money as the Reps and Senators do plus 7over.
My Longitudinal Projections can only be measured in increments of 16 feet because that is as long as my tape measure is. But with a huge grant, I will buy a longer tape measure.

Now send me the check. About 2 mil should tide me over for a couple of weeks.

View miles125's profile

miles125

2179 posts in 2661 days


#15 posted 10-09-2011 09:36 PM

Who knew….Even Bernie Madoff had a rather in depth mission statement that flowed off the page like determined vision and reassurance.

http://books.google.com/books?id=RtI1-5VyGDAC&pg=PA181&lpg=PA181&dq=bernie+madoff+mission+statement&source=bl&ots=sa2gTf-liH&sig=JsVKvIA7tUUcy8YzKiaxO66_oys&hl=en&ei=dPWRTq-XHsSBtgeKlfiYDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=7&sqi=2&ved=0CE8Q6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=bernie%20madoff%20mission%20statement&f=false

-- "The way to make a small fortune in woodworking- start with a large one"

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