LumberJocks Woodworking Forum banner

Mission Statements....Grrrrrr

3K views 21 replies 13 participants last post by  pierce85 
#1 ·
Mission Statements....Grrrrrr

Who invented the mission statement and is he dead yet, so we can stop seeing mindless paragraphs of pablum indistinguishable from one another on websites of people somehow convinced choice words strung together just right actually looks impressive.

I can't say i've ever looked at a mission statement and said "Now this guy is a woodworker that obviously has a vision". Has anyone else? Of course not. Quite the contrary. The slickly worded pinnacle of mission statement writing has now become synonomous with way too much hat, in the hope you wont notice the abscence of cattle.

But that's just me and my rant for this Sunday morning.
 
#3 ·
My favorite mission statement:

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where…

Huh… I seem to have forgotten the last part…
 
#5 ·
I think they dropped the 5 year mission over time and added continuing mission.

The mission statement is supposed to be the morale and ethics of the company (their very basic motive for being in business)....but as mentioned….it has become some flowery buch of poof that no one pays attention to much anymore. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I do not see them going away soon….as every business plan starts with or requires a mission statement.

How about a mission statement to not have a mission statement?
 
#6 ·
""How about a mission statement to not have a mission statement?""
reggiek

You may be onto something. How about…

Please view our portfolio for a mission statement worth more than any thousand words we could have put together.
 
#7 ·
"We don't have no mission. We just make stuff we hope other people will buy. If they don't, we'll try something else".
 
#10 ·
Pierce85, your leadership is inspiring a passion for excellence in me. I think that you may be the solution!
 
#11 ·
First ran into the "mission statement" bull******************** when applying for a "resident" artists grant from the State of Florida department of Cultural Affairs in 1985. A lot of us local craftsmen got together at a local pub to decide what the hell a mission statement was ….None of us knew ! We found out from a reliable source in the state senate months later (after the expiration date for grant applications had come and gone) that the idea came from the conservative state legislature at the time that was trying to kill all funding for the arts.
They got the idea from the British who had befuddled their artists by demanding "mission statements" and "Longitudinal projections" on all applications for grants. Florida legislators and their aides took up the "holy hatchet" . They thought that since they couldn't be honest and simply kill the state funded program to support the arts, they could so foul the process that no one would qualify and they would still come out of their crap tunnel smelling like roses ! No State Resident Artist grants were funded in 1985 or 86 & 87.
State of Florida , Department of Cultural Affairs grants required a "mission statement" and "longitudinal projection" from that day forth. Of Course other bureaucracies picked up on the windfall and voila everything and everyone remotely associated with ANY DAMNED BUREAUCRACY was required to produce reams of bull******************** like that. This is one of the primary reason so many of us have stayed away from public galleries and sponsored events in Florida. Ain't the bureaucratic life FUN !
 
#12 ·
WOW, I see a lot of ISSUES here. We never had any issues in the good old days (except to describe someone's offspring), we just had problems that we solved. How do issues get solved?, do they become "issued"???? Good to know though that we don't have any more problems to deal with today.
 
#15 ·
My Mission Statement:To screw the government out of as much money as the Reps and Senators do plus 7over.
My Longitudinal Projections can only be measured in increments of 16 feet because that is as long as my tape measure is. But with a huge grant, I will buy a longer tape measure.

Now send me the check. About 2 mil should tide me over for a couple of weeks.
 
#16 ·
#20 ·
Yeah, almost got fired once for not taking the mission statement seriously. Boss asked us to write what we thought the mission statement for the company and our division should be. I wrote, "to make as much money as possible could, exploiting the employees and hopefully without screwing the customer too much." That did not go well as you might imagine. Then the inspirational posters started to come out…..boy, you could not walk into any manager's office without seeing all the walls plastered with them.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top