Truth for Mature Lumberjocks

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Blog entry by longgone posted 08-29-2010 11:44 PM 1331 reads 3 times favorited 5 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies…..Quit Laughing.

5 comments so far

View Dennisgrosen's profile


10850 posts in 2535 days

#1 posted 08-30-2010 12:10 AM

thankĀ“s for the smile on my face :—))


View jusfine's profile


2405 posts in 2346 days

#2 posted 08-30-2010 12:11 AM

Some great ones there! Thanks!

-- Randy "You are judged as much by the questions you ask as the answers you give..."

View Woodwrecker's profile


3910 posts in 2996 days

#3 posted 08-30-2010 12:51 AM

Oh man, those were great.
I can identify with just about all of them !
Thanks a bunch!

-- Eric, central Florida

View BillyJ's profile


622 posts in 2623 days

#4 posted 08-30-2010 02:45 AM

This was great. Unfortunately, almost all of them are VERY true! Thanks for the post.

-- I've never seen a tree that I wouldn't like to repurpose into a project. I love the smell of wood in the morning - it smells like victory.

View Broglea's profile


677 posts in 2511 days

#5 posted 08-30-2010 02:53 AM

So true, so true. Good stuff. Thanks for the laugh.

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