Truths for Mature Humans

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Blog entry by longgone posted 05-25-2010 11:48 PM 5105 reads 3 times favorited 23 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
21. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
23. How many times is it ap propriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
26. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
27. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
28. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

23 comments so far

View a1Jim's profile


115177 posts in 3001 days

#1 posted 05-25-2010 11:58 PM

Cool Greg

-- Custom furniture

View albachippie's profile


757 posts in 2459 days

#2 posted 05-26-2010 12:00 AM

All true! I truly laughed out load!

I am a master at #28, and #2 for that matter! hmmm!

Great post, thanks

-- Garry fae Bonnie Scotland -

View Gregn's profile


1642 posts in 2407 days

#3 posted 05-26-2010 12:07 AM

No. 17 fits me to a T.

-- I don't make mistakes, I have great learning lessons, Greg

View JAGWAH's profile


929 posts in 2508 days

#4 posted 05-26-2010 12:07 AM

#1 is criticle! And # 17 but instead of their last name I have words like IDIOT< D*CKHEAD, THIEF depending on how they treated me. There’s only 3 or 4 but it’s important I answer the phone “properly” the next time they calll, no what I mean jelly bean?

-- ~Just A Guy With A Hammer~

View Dennisgrosen's profile


10850 posts in 2539 days

#5 posted 05-26-2010 12:13 AM

thank´s Greg


View PurpLev's profile


8523 posts in 3072 days

#6 posted 05-26-2010 12:16 AM


-- ㊍ When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

View heavyelectrician's profile


14 posts in 2363 days

#7 posted 05-26-2010 12:29 AM

If you have heard the stories i have from people who work the check in counter at hotels then you could see how #7 won’t apply to as many. #11,15 ,20 and 21 are perfect

-- You hold onto friends by keeping your heart a little softer than your head

View John in SD's profile

John in SD

140 posts in 3236 days

#8 posted 05-26-2010 12:36 AM

Great and oooh so true!

-- Life used to be soooo much simpler!!!!

View Mary Anne's profile

Mary Anne

1058 posts in 2632 days

#9 posted 05-26-2010 12:41 AM

Thanks for that. LOL
I think I covered everything on that list today, except #1 and I’ll be happy to hold off on that.
Now I won’t have to think or remember anything for the rest of the day! Just refer to the list. :)

View Dark_Lightning's profile


2620 posts in 2532 days

#10 posted 05-26-2010 02:35 AM

Too true, too true. Thanks for the laugh!

-- Random Orbital Nailer

View DrewM's profile


176 posts in 2423 days

#11 posted 05-26-2010 03:07 AM

#28: I think I can hit my snooze from a dead sleep a MILLISECOND before the alarm goes off. Almost never miss the target. HAHA

-- Drew, Delaware

View rance's profile


4243 posts in 2584 days

#12 posted 05-26-2010 03:39 AM

If I get calles on my cell that are from solicitors, when I hang up I ‘save’ them and put the name ‘Solicitor’ so I know not to answer next time.

-- Backer boards, stop blocks, build oversized, and never buy a hand plane--

View Ger21's profile


1047 posts in 2555 days

#13 posted 05-26-2010 03:57 AM

View Pete_Jud's profile


424 posts in 3176 days

#14 posted 05-26-2010 05:28 AM

loved it and will forward to the better half.

-- Life is to short to own an ugly boat.

View Dusty56's profile


11804 posts in 3112 days

#15 posted 05-26-2010 05:30 AM

LMAO ! Great collection of reality : )

-- I'm absolutely positive that I couldn't be more uncertain!

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