Mahogany Table #1: A victim of table abuse

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Blog entry by johnnybwood posted 08-18-2007 11:20 PM 1338 reads 0 times favorited 7 comments Add to Favorites Watch
no previous part Part 1 of Mahogany Table series no next part

This project is a great example of the following old adage: “No good deed goes unpunished.”

A while back I was at church on Sunday morning. During coffee hour my wife was saying things like “You remember John, don’t you?” while I was talking with a few people. A rather subtle approach, I admit, but it got me thinking. Maybe I’d better do something to offset the somewhat irregular nature of my attendance. I noticed that a small side table in the parish hall was a bit wobbly. Great, I said to myself. I’ll put this in the back seat, glue it up when I get home, and voila! – that ought to be worth at least four, maybe six, weeks. The rector said “Great! Thanks.” when I offered to help out. So, I went over to the table, picked it up, and – both back legs (with apron) fell off and the drawer fell out and landed on my right foot. Uh, oh. This is not good, I said to my self as I hopped around trying not to curse (no sense in adding more weeks to the liability side of the ledger, hey?). On the upside, it was a lot easier to get it into the back seat of the car in its now disassembled state.

As my wife was driving home, I was examining the damage to my instep and trying to figure out a way to wiggle out of this. I mentioned to my wife a couple of what I thought were good rational reasons not to fix the table and got what we call The Death Stare at our house. “Oh, well” I said, “I’m sure that I can squeeze it in.”

Once we got it home and I got down to the shop (no mean feat on one foot) this is about what I saw.
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Next time, the autopsy. It just gets uglier.

-- JWB

7 comments so far

View Karson's profile


35120 posts in 4394 days

#1 posted 08-18-2007 11:27 PM

Don’t you just hate it when it does that.

Self-destructs in front of your eyes.

And you are all covered with the shrapnel.

Now you get to repave the road. and make it look better than it ever was.

This way is looks like you are a furniture Superman.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia †

View Douglas Bordner's profile

Douglas Bordner

4024 posts in 4058 days

#2 posted 08-19-2007 12:23 AM

This might be enough to ease you through until Christmas candlelight service, and part way to Easter.

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

View oscorner's profile


4563 posts in 4305 days

#3 posted 08-19-2007 12:54 PM

God will bless you for your unselfish act. Good luck on the repair and if you do a really good job, you will be asked to fix more around the church in the future. LOL.

-- Jesus is Lord!

View mot's profile


4911 posts in 4030 days

#4 posted 08-19-2007 06:29 PM

Ahhh, Christianity! I just keeps ya coming back for more! I’ve done a lot of, “Me and my big mouth,” motivated projects. This one, no matter how much grief it causes you, was chosen and given with the best of intentions. You may find, as you’re fixing things around the church, that you actually like being there and start to look to other reasons, other than repair, to set foot in that house. Good on ya!

-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)

View Dick, & Barb Cain's profile

Dick, & Barb Cain

8693 posts in 4293 days

#5 posted 08-19-2007 10:27 PM

Very funny story, keep up the good work.

-- -** You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream ****************** Dick, & Barb Cain, Hibbing, MN.

View MsDebbieP's profile


18615 posts in 4155 days

#6 posted 08-20-2007 03:21 PM

He works in mysterious ways, doesn’t He? :)
A little guilt, followed by a a minor fix turning into a major fix, highlighted with a big Owwee … and, well, we will wait to see where this path leads you :)

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (

View Greg3G's profile


815 posts in 4079 days

#7 posted 08-21-2007 02:00 AM

My thoughts on the subject….see God has thing about ringing my bell. When ever I tend to wander away, he reaches down and takes this little gold hammer and rings my bell. If I don’t answer, he rings it again, just a little harder until he gets my attention. The problem, he never seems to ring it the same way. So by the time my thick head figures it out, I’ve had my bell rung a couple of times. It doesn’t have anything to do with the regularity of my church attendence, it has to do with the attension I pay to him over the course of my day. It seems that God wants a peice of my day, every day and he tends to get what he wants. He and my wife have a lot in common in this respect.

As for the problem with the table, have you considered just building a new one? It might actually take less time.

As for me and my big mouth, I put myself in just such a position. On my last appointment with my surgen, he asked if I could do repairs on furniture and before I could think of a way out of it, I had agreed. Me and my big mouth. Now I have to relearn skills I haven’t used in a very long time. Since I spent time with my Grandfather. I just hope I don’t make matters worse. I guess honesty will be the best policy in this case.

-- Greg - Charles Town, WV

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