I dedicate this post to Dick Cain, and DennisGrosen. Dick, because like me, he has confessed to having the syndrome, and Dennis, who has spent considerable time investigating the cause, his latest focus being the devices at the entrance of the stores which may be much more than they seem. Keep up the good work Dennis, you may become famous in the arcane field of mind control.
Aha….....that’s it, mind control…......that’s what they are up to. Indeed it must be the cause of the Lumberjock Syndrome.
Every syndrome must have at least three characteristics:
The Lumberjock Syndrome
1) The victim is a Lumberjock
2) The LJ is seen entering a store to buy a specific item
3) The LJ exits the store with multiple items, but not the specific item the LJ went there for.
4) The LJ spends much more time, and money, than intended, and certainly more than the LJ can afford.
5) The LJ has no memory of the event
6) The events reoccur at odd intervals, possibly related to stressful events….....like….....burns at the site of one’s pocket from unspent and overactive currency, feelings of worthlessness, shopping deprivation
7) LJ’s with this syndrome may also suffer from LackOfNewTool Lament, an apparently related and not dissimilar affliction.
8) There is no known cure
As an aside, beware of ads claiming to cure this terrible malady, perhaps through mail order rather than buying locally, they will certainly just exacerbate the phenomenon. Mail order may be less public, but it allows the victim to to hide the symptoms from his support group….....until the packages arrive…........(-:
-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska