LumberJocks

Life sometimes gets in the way... Sorry, I just need to vent...

  • Advertise with us
Blog entry by dbhost posted 06-06-2016 02:51 PM 1286 reads 0 times favorited 13 comments Add to Favorites Watch

I’ve got a huge stack of projects that I really need to, and a few I actually want to get done.

But as it would happen, life seems to be getting int he way…

I’ve got a job that has been very time demanding, and the stress level has been skyrocketing as of late due to some big changes in organization and the diminishing prospects of anything resembling stability in employment.

I’ve got a small business I am trying to run and get profitable, no joy on that yet but I am at least getting closer…

I’ve got aging parents and parent in law that have been a joy to spend time with, but still time consuming.

I have been taking fill in gigs as a bass player to pick up a little bit of extra money where I can, although if I do the math there, I am losing money actually…

My back problems have crept back in with a vengeance and sadly, chiropractic and massage therapy are only partially effective, and the sports medicine doc is hard to get an appointment with…

And to top it all off, we got some insanely awful news this weekend. My 50 year old, father of 3 girls brother in law was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.

I know the outlook for this cancer, the family is keeping the news from my 85 year old father in law for obvious reasons. In the last 14 months, he’s lost his two younger brothers. Losing a son would likely kill the man.

I’m frazzled, and right now pretty close to my wits end. I would love to just disconnect on a nice vacation in the mountains somewhere quiet, but sadly, I can’t afford to go to the mountains from here… And even if I could take the time and money to escape to somewhere closer to me, with all the rain that has been hitting Texas for the last month, all the place I like to relax at, well there is nowhere dry to relax.

Ugh.

I will keep an eye on the weather, and parks conditions, and maybe, just maybe, find someplace a bit cooler to escape to for a long weekend or something over the summer… Or maybe rent an RV and head off to Padre Island so I can sit in a chair under the awning and drink Pina Coladas with my toes int he Gulf of Mexico…

I just need a chance to recharge, and reset…. Get my head back on straight and give it a good go again.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. It helps…

-- My workshop blog can be found at http://daves-workshop.blogspot.com



13 comments so far

View Tooch's profile

Tooch

1352 posts in 1343 days


#1 posted 06-06-2016 03:44 PM

sorry to hear the news about the brother-in-law, that’s tough. if getting away seems to be too difficult, perhaps you could just have a weekend to yourself at home. lock all the doors, turn off the phone, and get some of those projects taken care of.

Sometimes woodworking can be just as good (or better) than any other therapy.

Good luck buddy.

-- "Well, the world needs ditch-diggers too..." - Judge Smails

View atouchofoz's profile

atouchofoz

107 posts in 526 days


#2 posted 06-06-2016 04:00 PM

WOW! A lot on your plate! And this time of the year when things are already hot! When loved ones are in need, it adds more to an already demanding reality. Deep restful sleep is most needed and yet hard to achieve. Stress and burn out are my typical my issues with a farm~ranch. The daily work never ends.
You have an ability to write a good visual vacation. I was ‘almost’ there with you and my big toe! With my luck I’ll have the event of a shark wanting to taste my big piggy! Something else to for character building. At my age, I have a lot of building blocks of character!
Venting is good! And I just bet, each and everyone of the people who read your vent, can relate and you just enlightened them some! As individual as your are, you are not alone. I hope you do get that time to cool refreshingly and rest! Drink in the serenity of the beauty of nature. You need to recharge, not just for you, but for the others around you also! Really! I send you peace and energy! ~Suzanne

-- Suzanne, A Touch Of O.Z.

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5609 posts in 2699 days


#3 posted 06-06-2016 04:15 PM

Thanks….

I am going to talk at length with my wife about getting away shortly. I don’t have an RV, and my truck is sick so renting a trailer would be a bit much. I am not too shy to throw a tent on the beach though. I am considering reserving a space at Malaquite and just remembering to bring the rig to set up a wind block to keep sand from blowing through my tent all night!

I miss my pickup being healthy. We used to use old tent poles stressed between stake pockets, and put up a tarp as a tent, and just crash out in the truck bed, sand and bug free but with a good breeze!

-- My workshop blog can be found at http://daves-workshop.blogspot.com

View DocSavage45's profile

DocSavage45

7708 posts in 2310 days


#4 posted 06-06-2016 04:44 PM

Some of the stressors you have written about are out of your control. some of them are in your control. It sounds like money is an issue which can be the biggest stressor of all.

Talking to your wife is good. Setting up a To Do list and prioritizing what can be done with what needs to be done is also a way to feel in control and not overwhelmed.

It’s like taking on a new woodworking project. Knowing the steps and the methods allows us to make one step at a time.

Pain is also an influence in how we think and feel.

If you need to get away to a calming place just do it. It does not need to be for a weekend, just get away!

Woodworking allows us to be in the moment with the wood. You are a musician how about listening to some great music.

Problem solving is a good thing, but playing helps!

Do what you can and let go of what you cannot.

This won’t fix it but it can help.

-- Cau Haus Designs, Thomas J. Tieffenbacher

View DocSavage45's profile

DocSavage45

7708 posts in 2310 days


#5 posted 06-06-2016 04:46 PM

Oh yeah, I teach stress management and anger management. Guess who is my best client? LOL!

-- Cau Haus Designs, Thomas J. Tieffenbacher

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5609 posts in 2699 days


#6 posted 06-06-2016 05:12 PM

I bet you are!

You’ve got no idea on the money problem… Home Depot has a LOT to do with my present stress but I shall not dive into that aside to say my local HD isn’t well managed.

-- My workshop blog can be found at http://daves-workshop.blogspot.com

View canadianchips's profile

canadianchips

2361 posts in 2464 days


#7 posted 06-07-2016 02:49 PM

Go ahead. VENT ALL YOU WANT
Writing things down helps.
DocSavage45 has some very good advice ! listen and try it.
2015 was the WORST year of my life. I dont need to get into it. (In a nutshell I lost everything, job, home,got sick, then family is gone) YES.
What I was able to keep was my “imagination” and my abiliity to make people smile !
Regardless how tough you think things are, there is ALWAYS HOPE.
Start doing what makes YOU happy,
Remember…....you are NOT ALONE

-- "My mission in life - make everyone smile !"

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

115206 posts in 3044 days


#8 posted 06-07-2016 03:15 PM

Tom knows of what he speaks
I’ve had a number of the same things going on in my life,what I try and do is to focus on the many things I have to be grateful for a loving wife of almost 50 years and family,a home,no lack of food,a business of my own,and there’s always someone who has it much worse than I do. I think of those trapped in their own country trying to save their families from death at the hand of their own leader,those who wish the had a roof over their head and a handful of rice to feed their starving children,those surrounded by war and fear ever second of every day.
When I think of all of those poor souls around the world even with the challenges I have with family members being ill and all the rest of life’s worries I still feel blessed to be relatively healthy,living where freedom is our right and living in a country that has care of it’s underprivileged and war free and on and on.
I wish you well and peace in your life.

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View Roger's profile

Roger

19886 posts in 2271 days


#9 posted 06-08-2016 12:57 AM

Try and hang in there buddy.

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed. Kentuk55@yahoo.com

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5609 posts in 2699 days


#10 posted 06-08-2016 02:37 PM

Well a mixed bag so far. But at least I am feeling on a more even keel…

I have an appointment to see the spine and back specialist again on Friday to see if he can help me iron this back stuff out. I know weight is a factor, and it is a catch 22. It is hard if not impossible to lose weight if I can’t work out, my back pain is related to my weight, but it keeps me from effectively working out… Chiropractic and massage therapy has been helping, it’s been over a year since the last major flare up, but this past week has been beyond those therapies… I dug up what was left of the old prescriptions that I don’t want to take just to get some relief, between that, and a hot pad, I am doing okay, but not great.

I had a studio gig I was supposed to work last night with band mates that I had to put off. I can’t stand the weight of even my Precision Bass on my back right now… We tried with me sitting but, well unless you play, it’s hard to explain, but I can’t get my sound right that way… My band mates are pretty understanding as the vocalist / guitarist went through Chemo last year that killed a lot of his ability to play for close to 8 months… Good thing is the studio is owned / run by band mates, not a paid third party… But I digress, and at least I did get to play some. Which was therapuetic in itself…

I did feel well enough to start shuffling stuff back out to the garage / shop and do some clean up. Which again is a mixed bag. I got a good amount of stuff put back exactly where it belongs, but for the life of me I have no clue where my hole saws went… And I have totes full of heavy stuff strewn throughout the shop. Good thing is I have a hand truck. Bad thing is I have to clear a path!

I might volunteer my wife to help me with this. A LOT of the junk that is messing the shop up is her gardening stuff anyway, and it helps us spend time together getting stuff we need done, done… And she is after me to be able to use the table saw to do some repairs around the kitchen cabinets…

No word on the second opinion on my BIL, but like some have said above, I just needed to get my perspective back straight. And again the top post was venting, partially in an effort to do that, so thanks for letting me vent… But I realized that my job in this whole ordeal is to be supportive, and help take some of the heat off of him while he goes through treatment. If it’s his time, well nothing we can do to stop it…

I’m making good, but not great headway with my business. The resources I needed lined up to make the product are in place now. Not everything I would like to make the job super simple, but enough that I can work with it and be productive. Production has started, and the sales outlet / commercialization of the product has begun. I am teaching my wife how to help me out with much of this work, the process is slow though.

Sorry I can’t go into a lot of detail on the business yet. As soon as I am fully up, online, and have completed product I will give more detail. I have a unique spin on an old idea that I am working the legal details on right now… (Copyright and patent stuff…)

All in all, just having an opportunity to have an evening where my time was un assigned helped a lot too!

Unfortunately due tot he Texas flooding, the camping trips I want to do are going to have to be postponed, but maybe I can just get a hotel room by the beach or something…

-- My workshop blog can be found at http://daves-workshop.blogspot.com

View XquietflyX's profile

XquietflyX

289 posts in 427 days


#11 posted 06-08-2016 02:42 PM

i’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers…

-- You can tell a lot about your wife by her hands, for example if they are around your throat she's prolly pissed off at you...

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

3965 posts in 2632 days


#12 posted 06-08-2016 03:40 PM

Not much I can add here. DocSavage is the expert (Hello again Tom), and a1Jim kind of sums up my attitude and situation at this time (Hello again Jim).

I lived in a stress pressure cooker for over 50 years. I survived by learning to relax almost instantly, dedicate parts of every day, however small, to myself, and limiting involvement in outside activities. As I aged, I was able to reduce my work load, and simplify my life, but there was a limit to both. Finally, due to the inevitable decline in energy and stress tolerance with age, I hit a brick wall of insufficient time to recover from particularly difficult and unavoidable days (such as 3 hours of sleep, or an 18 hour work day) and had to retire.

I retired at the end of 2015, and I am now 75 years of age. I am still distressing, and see changes happening to my body and mind, as a result, nearly 6 months later. Amazing how the body and mind adapt to chronic stress, and how long it takes to get back to a more normal state.

I’ll PM you with some more targeted thoughts, but be sure to find moments everyday just for you. You have taken on a high stress activity, starting up a business, and you just have to muck your way through it. Done that before. But that particular stress is time limited, and will go away. If you are successful, it will be worth it.

Later…..........

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5609 posts in 2699 days


#13 posted 06-08-2016 06:17 PM

For what it’s worth, I couldn’t agree with you more!

When I married my beautiful bride, I knew she was very much the opposite of me in many ways, one of the ones that drives me the craziest is she seems to have an inability to follow a schedule when not at work. I need to keep working on that with her.

Yes money is the biggest issue. Especially since elements outside of our control have made big changes in that area…


Some of the stressors you have written about are out of your control. some of them are in your control. It sounds like money is an issue which can be the biggest stressor of all.

Talking to your wife is good. Setting up a To Do list and prioritizing what can be done with what needs to be done is also a way to feel in control and not overwhelmed.

It s like taking on a new woodworking project. Knowing the steps and the methods allows us to make one step at a time.

Pain is also an influence in how we think and feel.

If you need to get away to a calming place just do it. It does not need to be for a weekend, just get away!

Woodworking allows us to be in the moment with the wood. You are a musician how about listening to some great music.

Problem solving is a good thing, but playing helps!

Do what you can and let go of what you cannot.

This won t fix it but it can help.

- DocSavage45


-- My workshop blog can be found at http://daves-workshop.blogspot.com

Have your say...

You must be signed in to post the comments.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com