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Dave Talks #13: Taking a break from the shop, and videos for a lousy reason...

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Blog entry by dbhost posted 07-09-2018 06:46 PM 2484 reads 0 times favorited 14 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 12: Structured wiring mount board removed!? Drywall work, and details. Part 13 of Dave Talks series Part 14: Just can't seem to get after it... I really need to get things going... »

No shop video this week, and there won’t be one for at least two more weeks.

We’ve had a sudden death in the family. My Dad fell, and broke his hip on the 1st of the month. Less than a week later he passed on from congestive heart failure I never knew he had….

Not much more to say about this aside from if you ‘ve been keeping up with the count. Since March 2 cousins on my wife’s side, one of her aunts, a brother in law, and a good friend of mine have all passed away, and now my Dad, and honestly, my Father in law is in terrible shape. The way 2018 is going….

ENOUGH ALREADY!

This keeps up I am going to check myself into a nice hotel with padded walls…

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/daves-workshop



14 comments so far

View lew's profile

lew

12269 posts in 3876 days


#1 posted 07-09-2018 10:12 PM

Condolences on your loss. Hang in there.

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4206 posts in 3285 days


#2 posted 07-09-2018 10:36 PM

Unfortunately, the older we get, the more family and friends pass on. My wife got so freaked out by the number of friends that died recently (she is 61) that she started to look at things differently, almost in a panic. Suddenly, she wanted to take a big trip again, like we did for our 25th wedding anniversary, 10 years ago. Next year will be our 35th anniversary. So she plotted a big one, with my concurrence, of course, and next January we take off and be gone from Anchorage for two months.

We have aother good excuse. My middle daughter now lives in Singapore for a three year stint because of her husband’s job. So we will fly to Singapore and visit with her family including three grand kids, cruise to Cape Town, and then come to La Conner for a couple of weeks to rest up.

Recently, I was thinking back to a canoe trip three of us made when we were done with finals for our senior year of college, with a hiatus before the graduation ceremony. It was interesting, and fun, and brought back great memories. But both of my friends on that trip have passed on.

These things do seem to cycle, so hopefully things will quiet down soon…

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View Jasper64's profile

Jasper64

4 posts in 78 days


#3 posted 07-10-2018 12:21 AM

Prayers for you and your family.

-- Brad, Seymour, IN.

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5766 posts in 3353 days


#4 posted 07-10-2018 02:11 PM

Well, for what it’s worth, My Dad was 79, and his health has been iffy for years due to cardiac damage he sustained in his military service due to Agent Orange exposure. His passing while no shock, the rapidity of decline for my eldest brother and I is very shocking. I am starting to come to the conclusion that my middle brother, the one that lives relatively close to my Dad and Step Mom hasn’t been entirely succesful in conveying Dads condition for quite some time. It’s been a chicken little issue where he tends to scream about someone being on their death bed because they stubbed their toe sort of stuff… So accurate, trustworthy information was hard to come by….. We knew about the dementia, but not a word was said until a day or two prior to his passing about fluid around the heart and lungs etc…

My wifes aunt has been in long term care for the last 10 years, she’s had tons of cardiac issues that are just, well no shock that she passed.

The two cousins (cancer) and brother in law (cancer) and coworker / colleague (undetermined but we think it was a medication error) were just untimely. These folks were in their 40s and early 50s. Just seems too early to get ripped away from life and those that love you…

I do have the blessing of a good friend from college that travels, a LOT for work has accrued so many travel miles as to be at risk of losing them if he doesn’t use them, so he is buying our air fare to and from Oregon. It’s sitautions like this where you find out who your friends really are! Oh and FWIW, him and I are going to work on some replacement cabinets for his old RV. They took out the old CRT TV on front and he wants to reconfigure the entire over cab cabinet setup.

Long term, the shop will be a good therapy for me. I got my love for woodworking from my Dad. I want to build one of those Cobblers benches to replicate the project, and furniture he build for the family when I was a kid as a legacy for him….

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/daves-workshop

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4206 posts in 3285 days


#5 posted 07-10-2018 03:24 PM

My father died at age 79 as well, but he had serious issues, leukemia, so we were forewarned. My mother died at age 93, hip fracture, and subsequently quietly passed in her sleep.

I am chugging along at age 77 with no disabilities, and I am grateful for that. I have a brother who is 81, and doing fairly well.

Your trip to Oregon sounds like a welcome change for you. I miss having a motorhome at times, but we are a bit more comfortable with the vacation home. We had an ‘88 Southwind, 32’ long. It got a lot of use, including trips in the spring and fall in below freezing weather. I had rigged it so that the pipes wouldn’t freeze. I would actually drain the water tank, and then anti-freeze the system while we were driving home. We had a concrete motorhome pad with dumping facility, electricity, and water. Now the pad is empty, but we might buy a smaller motorhome in the future after my wife retires.

I am going to make some prototype speaker stands while I am here in La Conner. I want to see how secure they are, and if necessary, change the configuration for the permanent stands. The speakers are “bookshelf” speakers, meaning a simple box. But they are quite heavy, and expensive, so I don’t want anything to happen to them. So I will build some simple ones out of pine and plywood and see how the function…

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5766 posts in 3353 days


#6 posted 07-11-2018 04:27 PM

Dad has had health issues for quite a while now. He had an afib and other cardiac issues that we were told were due to his Agent Orange exposure during his time in Vietnam. About 5 years or so ago, he had a heart valve replacement surgery, which he never really recovered from, and the signs of the Dementia were there pretty quickly afterwards. Not laying any blame, but I know before he went on the table mentally he was sharp as a tack, after wards, dull as a butter knife…

His mental state has been steadily deteriorating since then, but honestly, with him on the other side of the country, and me dealing with a brother in law who was critically ill, I hadn’t noticed. After Eddy passed in early May, I had a lot of trouble just trying to talk to anyone in my family, especially my Dad, mostly because I knew he didn’t have much more time…

It’s been a really trying time for everyone.

On a positive note. I get the speaker stand concept sort of… I have a pair of big powered PA speakers I want to set up in our music room. I can’t set them up on the teepee stands as those things suck up floor space, and still have room for the drum kit…. I am considering floating shelves off the wall to house these… I am honestly wishing I had a bigger space for the music room…. It started as a place for me to play my bass to a backing track, then my BIL brought his guitar, and my wife moved in her keyboard…. Now my nephew has dropped in a drum kit…. :-P this is getting out of hand!

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/daves-workshop

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4206 posts in 3285 days


#7 posted 07-12-2018 06:58 PM

If your wife and nephew aren’t using their instruments, perhaps some kind of storage solution is in order? I suspect one of the problems in that area is that the attic, and other unheated/uncooled spaces are just too hard on anything other than a spare concrete block… (-:

Got the parts to my speaker stands cut out yesterday. Today I will glue them up, then finish it with black paint tomorrow. Since it is pine and plywood, not much one can do with transparent finishes. But since I am painting, I can use quick and dirty assembly techniques, combined with filler.

Did some more pressure washing yesterday. The asphalt driveway needs some holes and cracks filled, and then it needs to be sealed. We will also paint the deck walking surfaces on this trip.

I think we will get someone to do the sealing of the driveway after we leave. It is difficult to park the cars outside of the driveway and garage…

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5766 posts in 3353 days


#8 posted 07-13-2018 02:30 PM

My wife plays her keyboard at least 3x /week… The drum kit si currently disassembled, but we plan on refurbing it and putting it together in the music room… I play it some, but it really needs new drum heads, especially the snare, that thing is tore up from the floor up! The kick is fine, the toms are so so…. Probably do that for Christmas…

Set up the tripods for the speakers in there last night. I can arrange the legs so they aren’t really in the way of the drummer… Do need an isolation shield though as there’s no way I am playing in that room with a live drummer unshielded!

Played my Jazz Bass a little bit last night, it growls a LOT more than the Precision does… Good for venting for sure!

I woke up this morning, and in the still groggy state was thinking “it’s Friday, I can call Dad tonight”.... Yeah that’s not gonna work… :-( Made for a lousy way to start the day…

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/daves-workshop

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4206 posts in 3285 days


#9 posted 07-13-2018 02:52 PM

OK, you just have to become a one man band. If you sing, you should be able to play guitar, mange the drums with your feet, and occasionally drop the guitar to use the keyboard…

Gotta put a positive spin on the thing, Dave… (-:

Will be busy today. Youngest daughter and her husband, with four year old and two year old arrive this evening for a few days. They are coming up from Denver. I think the proper word to describe the situation is “chaotic”. Brief stay, and that is probably a good thing for this old man. My daughter is a colorectal surgeon, and her husband is a plastic surgeon. There will definitely be a little medical talk in the conversation…

Regarding your father, the grieving never ends, it just slowly fades with time. Unfortunately, “closure” is an overrated phenomena. You will probably dream about him now and then for ever. I still find myself dreaming about my father and I. He died in 1980, 38 years ago. I still wish he was here, but of course, he would be 117 years old if he were alive…

Later…

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5766 posts in 3353 days


#10 posted 07-13-2018 03:50 PM

I play one instrument at a time, badly…. Okay I am fair to middlin on the bass, I am learning guitar, and just piddle around on percussion…. My wife is the keyboardist…

I used to sing, but I have an issue with the and I can’t spell it, but the tube in the ear, never equalizes right on my left ear, so I never hear myself right and can’t judge to hold a tune…. My wife says I sing well, but I don’t believe her, mostly because I can’t tell…

Totally agree on the concept of closure, I still miss my grand dad, he passed away in 1979…

I’ve been having a lot of trouble with the beginnings of arthristis in my shoulders, and the tool stacker in my shop is getting to be a huge problem for me… A massive redesign of the shop is in order. I don’t really like the big extension wing on my table saw etc… I am considering building rolling cabinets for my bench top tools, and massively down sizing the cabinet the miter saw sits on for a collapsible wing type saw stand… The lathe needs a better stand, and I figure I can mount the bench grinder / sharpening station to that etc…

Need to spend some serious time in sketchup to get this done!

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/daves-workshop

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5766 posts in 3353 days


#11 posted 07-23-2018 07:46 PM

Well, I’m back home. Dad’s services were good. Miltary honors will stay with me forever. The sound of the Rifle salute wasn’t nearly as loud as I would expect…

My step mom was trying to clear out some of Dads stuff that she knows has sentimental value to each of my Dads sons… I got my Dads pinky ring that he made in a jewelry making class in high school, this thing is easily 62 or 63 years old… Not super valuable, just silver and I think the stone is Onyx, but Dad made it…

I also was able to get my hands on a small box of penmaking supplies he had from when I was a kid… No mandrels sadly, but lots of inserts, springs etc… The inserts are the old style refillable ones for Cross pens and compatible… He’s probably had these things for 40 years…

I wish I could say the visit went smoothly. But with the combination of high emotion of the event, and poor communication some knickers got twisted. No big shock…

I tried to take time to show off Oregon to my wife, hoping to catch a beautiful clear sky full of stars. After days of squabbling with various family members she wasn’t exactly in a great mood, and to top it off, we had an almost full moon (very bright, blocks out the view) and there was a Forest fire somewhat close by blowing smoke and lots of extra light…

Our new fridge was delivered today thankfully. I got it set up, more or less. Hope I did it right because I had to go back to work…

I’ll catch the good where I can!

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/daves-workshop

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4206 posts in 3285 days


#12 posted 07-24-2018 03:49 PM

Having spent two years in the military as a medical officer, prior to specializing, I have a soft spot for military folk. Unlike some, I had a positive experience, with good memories. I almost went career.

Our family is not noted for infighting and squabbles, and social events seem to happen smoothly. That may be the result of wide variations in religion, affluence, and temperment. The makings of contentious relations are there, but since there wouldn’t be a point to it, everyone avoids it, I suspect. Religion, politics, and finance never seem to come up due to some unwritten detente, I suspect. Ex-spouses even seem to be on good behaviour and keep discourse civil. My generation has set the tone, and the younger folk have picked it up.

Back here in Anchorage now. Recovering from an overuse “injury”, meaning just back and hip pain from a lot of out door work at both houses. So now I am staying out of the shop until I am recovered. Minor stuff, fortunately, and I seem to be on the mend.

A fridge is definitely one of those things you don’t want to fail. Our biggest problem in that regard was a 72 hour electrical outage here in Anchorage a number of years ago. We did lose some food, but maintained much of it in our large freezer with bags of ice.

We came home to a bonanza of strawberries in one of our small garden patches. Most of our garden area is given over to flowers, but we have two small areas that include some vegetables, and strawberries, nestled in with the floral stuff. Guess that is my little piece of good for week. Sherie is converting most of them to strawberry freezer jam. Makes it in the bread maker…

Later…

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5766 posts in 3353 days


#13 posted 07-26-2018 09:18 PM

For what it’s worth, while my family isn’t known for the best of communications, we usually don’t snap at each other. One brother in particular isn’t handling the stress of our parents aging and loss at all well, and he’s kind of lost his composure… We’re brothers though. We’ll butt heads and then get back to normal quickly…

The new fridge is in, set up, and pretty awesome, but the ice maker is too slow for my taste… I am working with the documentation to figure out the adjustments and think I have it right…

I need to get with my ortho doc, we lost my referral for PT for my shoulder. Getting arthritic there, not a good sign at just under 50 for sure!

I know one thing for sure, I am much more motivated to get moving on my channel and get it self supporting. I have ideas that I want to get going and I can’t wait until I am too old, ill, or dead before I try them.

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/daves-workshop

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4206 posts in 3285 days


#14 posted 07-27-2018 03:28 PM

Stress can certainly change behavior. I too had some head butting with my brother, but fortunately it occurred in the email realm, and was settled there as well. Illness will also markedly affect behavior. Grief and the stresses caused by loss frequently make temporary changes in behavior.

One of the most dramatic changers of behavior is pregnancy. I have met patients first when they were pregnant, and wondered how in the world someone married her, and continued to put up with her. Then at the first postpartum visit it be like another personality took over their brain, and they became composed, happy, and sociable again. The effect could be absolutely amazing in certain individuals. Other people had the same affect whether they were pregnant or not. We are all put together differently.

Speaking of ice makers, we had a stand alone ice maker for a long time, but it was more trouble than it was worth. It made perfect tasting ice, but was a maintenance calamity. We have an excellent appliance repairman, and he suggested we just ditch it. So we disposed of it, and went back to using the ice maker in the Viking. It can produce ice at a prodigious rate, but the delivery mechanism leaves something to be desired. I just cleared out an ice jam this morning.

We have a Sub Zero fridge in La Conner. More fridge than we wanted to buy, but we were victims of a major model change with our first choice, Thermador (high quality, but a lot cheaper than Sub Zero). The cabinets were designed for a particular size built in fridge, and after the cabinets were built, we went to buy the fridge. it was no longer available. And there were none available in any other brand, except Sub Zero. Everybody else had converted to separate “columns” for freezer and fridge. Unfortunately, they were not as space efficient as a combo, and would have severely limited our freezer and fridge storage space.

That fridge was maneuvered into the house with a crane, after taking down a porch railing. Crazy. Its a good fridge, so not a bad purchase, just more than we wanted to spend. And it is one of their smaller fridges, but they definitely weigh a lot.

I am not much into watching videos. I usually get to yours sooner or later just for conversational reasons, but it isn’t my thing. But I do hope you get your channel up and running. It could be a source of amusement, and perhaps some money in retirement.

The rains have settled in here, the usual August weather. It has to keep up its reputation as a temperate rain forest, since that is our classification, both here, and in La Conner…

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

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