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745K views 2K replies 162 participants last post by  Ecocandle 
#1 ·
New Year...New Hobby

I have been known to take up a hobby or 37. At 42, on the cusp of 43, and well into the 'balding' years, I have decided that, in lieu of a midlife crisis, I would take up woodworking. Don't get me wrong, a new car and a 27 year old with huge, firm, hands would be wonderful; But I can't afford the 27 year old, and I am not into cars that much.

In the summer of 2009, I went to an arts festival in Des Moines. The gentleman, who won best of show, did so with some amazing etched clay bowls. I am not sure why those clay pots inspired me to take up wood working, or if they were the only inspiration, but shortly thereafter I found myself living in the thriving metropolis of Martelle Iowa. I had my first ever basement.

Without a lot of money to buy all that one needs to build furniture, I started with magazines. The first one was called, "Start Woodworking", from the editors of Fine WoodWorking. I read tips on tools, ideas for projects, stories about great woodworkers, and I began to formulate a plan. I would start with a workbench, the workbench on page 24. The editors of the magazine did a good job of designing a project with the beginner in mind. They even provided a DVD with instructions that were really helpful.

The bench took several months to complete, though the plans were designed so that one could complete it is a weekend. I would guess that I spent 5 hours of thinking about building the bench, for every hour of actual working on it. I thought about what I needed to complete each step, but I was always only focused on the next step. The first step was to buy the 2×4s, 4×4s, 3/8" threaded rod, and a miter saw. Not an electric miter saw, a cheap manual one. I could afford it, it would cut, and I didn't at all care about how long it would take to make each cut. I also discovered in the garage and old hack saw that I could use for cutting the threaded rod.

With the wood cut, I decided I wanted to sand my lumber. The next purchase was a small Black and Decker 'Mouse' sander, some 80, 120, 180 grit sandpaper, and a cool looking level that I didn't need but it was shiny and I was powerless to NOT buy it. The next few weeks found me sanding each piece a bit each day. Barely into my first project I was already getting addicted to the process. The feeling of the construction grade lumber in my hand, after it had been sanded, gave me the slightest glimpse into the beauty of working with wood. I thought about how it must be to run my fingers across a piece of glass smooth mahogany or birds eye maple.

The plans required that I route a 3/8 inch groove into the stretchers. Before I read this magazine I didn't even know what a router or a stretcher was. Each new term learned, each skill set explored, opened up the possibilities that developing woodworking skills offers. And each discovery brought the reality home that care needs to be taken to master each aspect of woodworking. So before I could move on to routing I needed to do a bit of research. This is how one turns a 2 day project into a 2 month quest.

I read reviews and comments. There are many good routers to choose from and I decided to go with the Bosch 2.25 hp router with both the plunge base and the fixed base. I bought 3 bits. A 2" Spiral Downcut CL 2BB and a straight 3/8" by Amana Tools, and a 3/8" Up Spiral bit by Freud. I have come to the conclusion that Freud and Amana Tools are the two best out there. Admittedly Amana makes 2 levels of router bits, and I can't speak to their low end line, but the high end bits have been a joy.

With the router in hand, I had all the tools required to build my workbench. Each step was approached with a sense of confusion and fear. The first time I used the router I was filled with trepidation and pizza, as it was after dinner when I gave it a try. I spent close to 40 minutes setting up a guide for my router. Pieces of 2×4 clamped with 2 24" and 2 36" Jet clamps on my make shift workbench, allowed me to position the router to route. I had read that it is best to take several small passes for safety. Since I was already a bit scared that the router would spin wildly out of control and drive itself into my spleen, leaving me bleeding and generally disappointed, I decided that small passes were a good idea.

It worked as advertised. My first 2 passes made a wonderful 3/8" grove in my wood. I was filled with pride and sure that I was well on my way to being one of the greatest woodworkers of the last 700 years. My second board didn't go as well. I had tightened the collet on the router, though apparently not enough and it had slid up slightly. This had produced a slight up ramp for the groove. My ego needed this set back and I retightened it and decided that I was the greatest woodworker in my basement at that moment. This was good enough for me.

The rest of the project required gluing 2 pieces of ¾ " ODF together to form the top, drilling some holes in the 4×4 legs, and attaching the 9" Jet vice. The only difficult part was installing the vice as it didn't come with instructions, but my own insecurity about getting it right, made me take it at a glacial pace. When I flipped the bench back over and put a piece of wood in the vice, I almost wept with joy.

At the end of the quest I learned several things. 1) When marking wood to be cut or drilled, avoid doing it while watching college football. My bench still bears the scars of several errant holes. 2) Drilling holes with a hand drill, so that they are straight, requires a bit of practice. 3) High quality drill bits are much easier to use than really old, worn out, dull, bits. This likely applies to all tools, the better the quality, the better the results. 4) Fostner bits are cool. 5) I love my workbench, with its shiny red Jet 9" vice. 6) The journey before me is perhaps the most exciting one I have undertaken in my lifetime.
 
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#4 ·
SPalm and ChuckV,

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my drivel. I enjoyed writing it. I am pleased to have found this forum for sharing my journey and helping me along the way. I tried to send you each a personal note, but alas, couldn't figure it out. Obviously that is a part of the journey.

Brian
 
#7 ·
Hi Brian,

Welcome to Lumberjocks and to woodworking as well. I thoroughly enjoyed your levity. If your woodworking comes around to the level of your writing skills you will be quite adept! I have been woodworking for 30 years now and it's great to hear the perspective of someone just beginning to enjoy this great pastime of ours. If it isn't already, it will become your passion. Thanks for sharing your workbench tale. Once you learn how to post pictures of your projects, please post some of the workbench. I would love to see it.

As for sending a personal message (PM) to a fellow Lumberjock (LJer), simply click on the "home" link next to their name. Once on their home page, look for "send a message" and click on it. That's all there is to it. Happy 2010, best wishes and I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Lenny
 
#8 ·
Hey Brian, you're an excellent writer. It will be fun to watch your woodworking come up to speed with your writing. This is going to be a popular blog because everyone can identify with it, whether they are at the same point in their woodworking journey or far beyond it… everyone knows what this feels like.

But even for seasoned woodworkers the learning curve is never ending, and every time you try something new it feels just like what you described. For example, I have become very proficient in the use of power tools over the last few years. I read every book and magazine I could get my hands on, read every review, and slowly built up my arsenal of routers, saws, sanders, etc., to the point where I was actually getting paid to build furniture for people. And now I am having these "ah-ha… oooh… whoa!" moments all over again lately as I teach my self how to use hand tools.

Keep writing. I'll follow along. Welcome to lumberjocks.
 
#9 ·
well said , brian .
you have really captured the spirit of woodworking ,
as blake said there is still the beginner in all of us .
your approach is straight forward and thoughtful .
with some time and the enthusiasm you exhibit ,
you will find yourself enjoying it even more .
as for posting pictures ,click this ,

http://lumberjocks.com/garyk/blog/8899

also
welcome to LJ's .
 
#10 ·
Very well written blog…...enjoyed the levity thrown in here and there…...I too, am a novice and spend more time thinking(usually with a cup of coffee and a twinkie…....twinkies are inspirational) about how to approach my task at hand…...looking forward to seeing your work bench.

Welcome to LJs…....in that last couple months I have got some good learnin' from all these wonderful folks here…..hope you do the same.
 
#11 ·
Hi Brian, welcome L.J.'s. Great start on your woodworking journey. I remember those feeling of trepidation, of being just a little unsure but willing to try. Excellent way to get know your fellow jocks and let us know exactly where you are in the process. I really look forward to hearing about the next challenge you set for yourself. It is really refreshing to hear someone speak so candidly and with such a great sense of humor.

I hope you stay with it, you have many great and not so great experiences just waiting for you.

Later,
Doug in AZ.
 
#12 ·
Brian, welcome to the Wonderful World of Wood Working. You're a good 5 years younger than I was when I started, but I can tell you that I'm not the least bit sorry. I can appreciate your satisfaction with each new skill. My early projects were chosen specifically so that I did something new with each.

You'll find LumberJocks both helpful and inspirational. You'll learn to do things you didn't know existed and before long you'll be making some of the best stuff you've ever seen.

Welcome, and enjoy your journey.
 
#13 ·
I really enjoyed this post. You have a great writing style that encourages one to read on. I love your enthusiasm and as someone who like you has taken up more than a few hobbies, I am pleased to say that this one has really stuck. I can only hope you find the same addiction in the coming years. What is most exciting is the challenge never ends and you will be approaching new things every day to churn up that "fear and confusion" you spoke about. Good luck in your journey and bookmark this site as your apprenticeship program. The collected knowledge in this community is staggering.
 
#14 ·
Reflections of a Mortise



Stepping through the beveled corner, art deco inlay, looking glass, into the world of woodworking is an experience that is humbling to say the least. On another woodworking site, a blogger posed the question, are 'Dovetails' overrated? The article was well written, the comments were astounding. The debate between the pro-tail vs. the pro-choice factions was more contentious than an abortion debate three days before a presidential election.

Wonderland indeed! The one point that I took away from the debate was that choosing to learn to cut dovetails by hand required a lot of practice and patience. As someone who revels in his obsessive compulsive side, this epiphany appealed to me more than pizza and beer on a Saturday night. Admittedly I am not a huge fan of beer, but I LOVE pizza; And I didn't want say 'Pizza and Diet Dew', lest any readers think I am a big sissy.

As I cracked a diet dew, I decided that I would begin my study by buying a chisel. My general rule is to always buy the best I can find. My knowledge of chisels was limited to knowing how to spell chisel, and I only recently learned that. The internet pointed me towards Lie-Nielson. Several other articles taught me that socket chisels are nice because the handles are less prone to splitting. Apparently the steel should be around 60 - 62 something, so it is not too soft and not too hard. This sounded like a fairy tale about 3 bears and a porridge stealing juvenile delinquent. But who am I to question the wisdom of those who come before me?! Lie-Nielson chisels are of this design. I felt smarter just for knowing that. I decided that I wanted a set of bench chisels, a fish tail, skew chisel and possibly a 3/8 mortise chisel. They only cost $555.00.

With my brand new 3/8" Irwin chisel (around $10.00) in hand, I took the old mallet I had found in the garage, and tapped it gently into my practice wood. The Lie Nielson will have to come at a later date. The practice wood was a lovely little piece of hard maple; she had a nice figure and was a bit shy. I could tell it was her first time too. As I tapped that wood with my tool I felt nervous. Was I doing it right? Was I hurting my lovely piece of wood? Was it good for her?



An hour later I had finished. I had drilled and chiseled my way to my first mortise. I was sweating but filled with joy. Oh the euphoria. So this is what all the fuss is about! I had chiseled out a 2 and ¼ inch by 3/8" mortise and was now ready to think about moving onto the tenon. Of course, this would have to wait for another day, as I wasn't ready for another go. I just wanted to bask in the glow of my first mortise.
I learned several interesting things about chisels. They are able to remove much thinner and cleaner shavings of wood than I would have imagined. I had assumed that they would take large chunks of wood with each hit. As I pared down the sides and brought the corners to 90 degrees(ish), the need for mastering hand tools became clearer than a D flawless diamond and quite possibly more valuable. I know now that if I can learn to use these wonderful tools, if I can make them do my bidding, then I just may be able to create a masterpiece or at the very least, a nice cutting board.



It is ironic that, two days before, I had been thinking how I might use my plunge router to cut the mortises I would need for the Krenov saw horses I was attempting. I still believe that it will be equally important to be able to cut them with power tools, and I will likely cut far more using a router than I will a chisel, in my lifetime. But I doubt that I will feel the same exhilaration.

So I discovered the joy of hand tools. I have since cut 7 mortises (4 without a drill) and 7 corresponding tenons by hand. The last 2 mortises (no drill) took less than 26 minutes each, which was a vast improvement over 1 hour. As I continued to meander through the wonderland, I happened upon a rabbit that said, "You should probably learn how to sharpen your chisel" and he winked. The wink made it seem dirty somehow. As I thought about the rabbit, I realized that this is why this journey is such a joy. Each day brings a new challenge. Each challenge opens a door. Each door leads to a hallway with more doors. I doubt I will ever find my way back to the mirror.

(Editor's Note: Ok, I don't actually have an editor, but I like the sound of it. I did want to say that I appreciate all the encouraging comments from the 1st post I threw up yesterday. As of the writing of this post there were 321 people who had read my previous post, and 3.4% of you chose to leave a comment. To the 96.4% who didn't comment, I can only assume that your mother told you, "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all." To those non-posters, please feel free to mock my spelling, grammar or content…But NOT my hat…never my hat!)
 
#15 ·
I must have missed your first posting and I will be the first to say "I do have bad spelling" but it is getting better….I hope.
On LJ's I do think we as a whole agree if you have nothing nice to say keep quiet. We like keeping LJ's a friendly community.
Nice article
 
#23 ·
A Tenuous Grasp



"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

As you may know, I have mortised. Can mortise be used as a verb? Obviously it can, though I am sure my 7th grade English teacher is rolling over in her grave. Actually, I don't know if she is dead, probably just wishful thinking on my part. I digress.

What is a mortise without a tenon? It is sad. It is lonely. It is unfulfilled. It is ying without yang, peanut butter without jelly, Simon without Garfield. Ok that last one wasn't a good example, as Paul Simon has done pretty well solo. Apparently I am still digressing.

After my 3 practice mortises and 4 real mortises, I realized it was time to create a verb out of tenon. I have read all sorts of interesting articles giving techniques and jigs one can use to cut tenons on the router table or table saw. I have neither yet. In a fit of impulse buying I had purchased a lovely coping saw a few weeks earlier. A Robert Larson saw made in Germany. I reasoned that with all the Germans have had to cope with in the last 100 years; they probably know a thing or two about this type of saw.

I find my coping saw to be quite wonderful. It cuts nicely, but alas it is not the tool for tenoning. I know this now. I am still very pleased to have it in my tool collection. I decided to try my Marples Japanese hand saw. I had not really used it in earnest before. It has two distinct types of teeth on it. This seemed to me to be significant and I reasoned that I should find out what each set of teeth was designed to do.

I wondered over to finewoodworking.com, where I gladly pay $4.95 per month to be a member. I figured I could find something about Japanese hand saws, and while I was looking I saw an article, "Guide for Cambering a Jack Plane Blade". I don't know what 'Cambering' is. I am equally uniformed as to what a 'Jack Plane' does. I assume it flattens large blocks of cheese. Not wanting to get distracted I passed on this article.

I found a wonderful article which had a diagram, which was vastly superior to the one I have here. Now I just needed to find a definition of 'rip' and 'crosscut', and I would be set.



I meticulously marked the board, took my saw to the basement, and clamped my bit 'o' hard maple into the vice. I decided I would cut off the short blocks on the end of the tenon first. This didn't take long at all. I then sawed the long bits off. I now had a tenon with four shoulders that were grotesquely uneven. Not to worry. I grabbed my trusty Black and Decker mouse sander and went to work. This was an abysmal failure. I now had shoulders that were smooth but not flat. Wisdom gained.

Never being one to get too stressed about failure, I decided I would take my mallet and see about gently inserting the tenon into the mortise. By gently I mean hammering it like Thor. This worked nicely, and though there was only one side of the combination that looked reasonable, it was so solid I couldn't pull it apart.

I have since learned that that first mortise tenon combo was too tight. It seems that when glue is applied the tenon will swell a bit. Though I didn't know that the joint was too tight at the time, I did know that it looked dreadful. So I brutally unjoined my joint and set the two pieces on the table. It was apparent that my grasp of tenon cutting was tenuous at best. I decided to sleep on it.

The next day I thought about it some more. It would be best to approach the cut differently. I would draw a box around the piece of wood, where the shoulders are supposed to be, and cut that first. It worked slightly better than my first method. Then as I was comparing the two, I had an 'ah ha' moment. I bet that the Master Woodworkers, clean up their tenons with their chisels!

With the speed of an Indy car driver, I grabbed my chisel and sheared off a bit of the shoulder. This was fun, and appeared to be helping. I spent a good deal of time chiseling off tiny bits here and there, occasionally setting my chisel on the shoulder and using it to see how close I was to flat, and then I learned a valuable lesson. If you are chiseling across a shoulder and coming up on the end of the board, it is best to stop and chisel back into the board. I learned this when I shaved the slightest bit off the shoulder and took a huge chunk out of the side.



Before I tackled the last two I looked up the best way to start a cut with a Japanese handsaw. I also drew a secondary box 1/32 below the 1st one. This made thing easier. I cut to the 1st box and chiseled to the 2nd one. It was also brought to my attention that one should hold the saw near the end of the handle, not apply too much downward pressure, and to just let the saw cut. Apparently these types of saws like to cut in straight lines. I am not sure that my saw is aware of this, but it does a pretty good job. A good enough job that I am planning on upgrading to a better saw. Any ideas or suggestions from the peanut gallery would be greatly appreciated. In fact, here are three questions I would love to have answered.

1. What is the best Japanese handsaw for cutting tenons or dovetails?
2. How do you get clean and flat shoulders on your tenons? (if you cut them by hand)
3. What is your favorite land mammal?

With my newly acquired knowledge I was able to improve the tenons marginally. I would give my tenons a c+, but only because the class is graded on the curve, and I intentionally signed up for woodworking for toddlers. Those 3 year olds with their barely developed motor skills, they make me laugh. In all seriousness though, I would imagine that just like in all other aspects of woodworking, practice goes a long ways towards perfection. So I am going to keep at it.

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
 
#39 ·
Out Into The Cold



It is cold in Iowa today. It was cold yesterday too. It will be cold tomorrow. Despite this I realized that I hadn't been to Home Depot, Menards, or Acme Tool in several days. I was beginning to get that itch. I needed a fix. So I bundled up and hopped in the car and off I went.

I had a vague desire to buy some rare earth magnets. Do I have a project that requires magnets? No, of course not, I just really wanted them. The reason that the advertising industry is so successful is that there are people like me. I recently read an article or saw an ad about rare earth magnets. I don't remember which it was. I just know that the seed was planted in my mind that they are really cool.

I have no idea what sort of woodworker I will be. Will I faithfully reproduce a 1755 George Haupt commode? Perhaps a Federal chest of drawer will strike my fancy? Or a Greene and Greene inspired end table? Right now, I couldn't say where this journey will take me. I do know that I like to learn how to do new things. So it is quite likely that I will pick many of my early projects, based upon the skills they require to complete, rather than what I would like to have when I am done. I am learning how to use hand tools now, so for the foreseeable future there will be lots of gratuitous chisel work.

This brings me to the point of today's rambling. The joy of woodworking extends well beyond the physical construction. I take pleasure in reading about woodworking, or watching The Woodsmith Shop on Iowa Public television, or just thinking about projects that might be in my future. Of course one of the best rushes, as far as I can tell, is looking at, learning about, and buying new tools and woodworking accessories.

I knew a woman once, a professional Jazz singer. She did very well financially. She tried to explain to me why she had over 1000 pairs of shoes, she tried to justify it by explaining that many of the pairs were less than $350.00, she described the feeling she had just owning them. I did the math. I couldn't conceive of a world where I would want to spend $350,000 dollars on anything that didn't have a walk out balcony and a view. It was what she loved and she had the money.


As I left Acme tools, having drooled over a random orbital sander and vacuum from Festool ($800 ish), the $3000 Saw Stop table saw, and tens of thousands of dollars of Freud and Amana router bits, I thought about the woman with the shoes. I think I finally understand her love of shoes.

Magnets in my pocket, carefully placed on the opposite side from my wallet, I headed home. When I got home I looked around and realized that in my world, one of tech, most things I own hate magnets. I spend most of my life at my computer, or more accurately surrounded by my computers. It was clear that the only place that it would be safe to take them out and play with them, was in the basement, among my tools. I love tech, but I also love it that the magnets won't erase the hard drive on my 9" Jet vice. Sitting at my workbench I took out the magnets. I bought both ¾" magnets and the little holder thingies (I like to use technical terms whenever possible, in this case it wasn't possible, as I would have had to get up and go all the way downstairs to find out what they are called. Perhaps not possible is too strong, let's say that it was inconvenient, and I couldn't be bothered. My daily digression)



They are fun. I like to learn something about woodworking every day. The other day I learned that if one has rare earth magnets and one puts them in the little holder thingies, it increases their strength by 4x. Today I learned that if one is playing with their new rare earth magnets and puts one into its holder thingy, it is no small feat to get them back out again. I used my vice and a poking device. I put the magnets back in their little case and the thingy back in its case, and put them in a drawer. I felt satiated. I had made an impulse purchase, which was loosely related to woodworking, and I had gotten out of the house. The only problem I can see with today, and this blog post, is that it hasn't lent itself well to photos. So I have included several gratuitous cat photos. His name is Harley. He is NOT my cat. He is however, a master craftsman, specializing in reproducing the works of Karl Friedrich Schinkel (Ok, that last part isn't true. Harley is a cat, he doesn't have opposable thumbs)
 
#40 ·
If you're a techie, you shouldn't have bought the magnets :) Hard drives have rare earth magnets in them, just requires a little work to get them out.
 
#53 ·
A Gritty Performance



It was a gritty performance to say the least. Our hero was struggling with his new wet stone, trying to practice the ancient art of chisel sharpening. The problem was that the wet stone, was, well, wet. The slightest pressure on the chisel and the coefficient of friction would be great enough that the stone would move too. This angered our hero. With a head full of rage and a fair amount of walnut lying around, he set out to put an end to the torment.

As some of you may know, if you have been following my feeble attempt at progressing along the path of the woodworker, that after tumbling down the rabbit hole and discovering the joy of the hand cut mortise, I ran into a rabbit. The rabbit spoke perfect English, which is unusual, and he told me that I should learn to sharpen my chisel.

Naturally I turned to the World Wide Web for guidance. Some of the comments regarding the sharpening of chisels and planes were less than encouraging. Basically they went something like this. Disgruntled Woodworker: "I have been building knick and on occasion knacks for years. Some of those knacks require the use of a chisel. I don't mind using it, but I would rather take a sharp stick to the eye, than try to sharpen my chisel. In fact, I would rather sharpen the stick." It seemed that the general consensus is that with the exception of several Japanese monks, and a handful of woodworkers in a bunker in Maine, the job of sharpening by hand cannot be mastered.



Then the articles go on to tell me how easy it is. I am definitely a glass is half full sort of person, so I figured it was possible for me to learn. I bought a small device which is designed to help get the correct angle. I also picked up a 1000 & 6000 grit King Combination Stone, the K-80S. Unlike most of my tool purchases, I did little research on this purchase and simply picked the one in the box I liked best. It had Japanese characters on it, and I knew that meant it was of high quality.



I read the directions. I learned that it is important to soak it for 3 - 5 minutes before using. I learned from the articles that the monks and woodworkers from Maine keep their stones in plastic containers filled with water all the time. My small plastic bread holder got promoted to wet stone holder. It is large enough that I will be able to add an 8000 grit stone to it, once I find one in a suitably colorful box. The articles also showed how one could take a piece of glass and use sticky glue and sand paper to do something or other. I really glossed over this part because I wanted a wet stone! All the cool monks have them these days.

I have now spent many hours sharpening on my wet stone. I found some old chisels in the garage. My garage is filled with a treasure trove of old tools. I have no idea what all is in there, but it seems that when I really need something, it makes itself known to me. The chisels are of dubious quality, and are probably not as good as the 2 low end ones I have purchased, but they are chisels, they can be sharpened and that is good practice. I assume that the only way you can become a sharpening monk is to practice, and be able to walk the rice paper.



The only gripe I had with the sharpening process, which I actually didn't mind at all, was that the stone kept moving. I have a limited skill set. Basically I can take a piece of wood and chisel a mortise into it, or cut a tenon on the end. Fortunately for me, that is enough to do what I wanted. I took one of my 5 ft pieces of walnut, cut off 16 inches worth, sanded it to 400 grit, and drew a line on the board around my wet stone.
I should mention that the other day, while at Acme Tools, I picked up another nugget of woodworking knowledge. If one sands to 400 grit, it makes applying stain nearly impossible. It was explained to me that at that grit, one is burnishing the wood. The pores become polished to the point that they won't absorb the stain very well. I figured that burnishing the wood on my wet stone holder was a good idea. So I sanded it to within 7/8ths inch of its life.



With a box drawn, I took chisel in hand and went at it. It was really fun. I feel as if I am improving every day with using the chisel. Today's project was a tremendous exercise. I am getting braver. I am taking larger chunks out. I am controlling the chisel more. I am ending up with a cleaner result.
The question that I am sure many of you will have, is how many freaking words can 'chisel boy' write about hogging out mortises? The answer might frighten you, so I will just let you find out for yourselves. At least I did something today that could be photographed, not that you didn't enjoy the cat photos, but I am sure that animals again today, would have been met with scorn. So in conclusion I would like to sum thing up by saying…"The End".


 
#58 ·
My Plan



Someone once said, "Plan your work and work your plan." Or was it, "Plan your woodworking at work, so you can plan on working on wood after work?" Either way, I have a plan. Over the last several years I have spent a good deal of my time building spaces in the virtual world of Second Life. I have designed hundreds of pieces of virtual furniture and I want to learn how to bring them into the real world.

I realize that most readers are now scratching their heads with their tape measures, asking, "What is virtual furniture?" "Why would someone in a virtual world need to sit?" "Why am I still reading this blog?" All of those are reasonable questions, and I am pleased to be able to answer the 1st two.

Second Life is a virtual world where people create avatars, interact, go to lectures, have meetings, conduct business, attend art galleries, and most importantly, explore their creative sides. Strangely enough, when one is attending a meeting, with another person who is sitting at their computer running their avatar, it is important that the host provide seating. The virtual world is so immersive that one feels uncomfortable standing, though they are sitting in real life. Also it makes a space feel more comfortable when it has tables, chairs, grandfather clocks, and art on the walls.

As for why you are still reading this blog, that is likely just a case of poor judgment on your part, and I am not to be blamed.

The point is this. I have spent literally thousands of hours learning how to create and design attractive furniture. I am proud of my designs and if I am to be proud of the designs, when they are built for the real world, I will need to become skilled at every aspect of woodworking.

There is a second point and that is that though I don't know much about woodworking, I do have a pretty good working knowledge of the 3d design tool Google Sketch up. Because I am new, I am able to offer almost nothing to the wonderful community that is following my daily ramblings. The only area where I might be able to offer guidance is in using Sketch up to design your work. Have you tried it? If you are afraid, don't be, the technology has been brilliantly designed. There are a plethora of videos that can be found to teach you the basics. In a recent article which I perused (Note: I use perused as it was actually intended to be used, meaning to read thoroughly and for content.), the author was describing the hours spent designing the beautiful piece of furniture he had built. I believe he had spent 300 hours on design alone.



The beauty of Google Sketch up is that you are able to see how a piece might look. Easily change the thickness of a part and do endless small tweaks, until it matches the vision in your mind's eye. One can also label parts and do any number of things that make it a perfect tool for design work.
I include in today's blog piece several 'photos' which were created entirely in Sketch Up. I should note that each of these was then rendered into a photo quality image using a bit of software which I purchased. I did this so that I might sell the photos along with my other real photos. It isn't at all necessary for designing a project to buy any additional software.



I lack a good transition, so please stop thinking about Google Sketch up, clear your mind, and accept that I am now changing directions. I should be in politics. I have said in previous posts that I believe in buying the top of the line in tools. This usually comes before a sentence where I describe the low end tool I have just bought. The work horse for woodworkers is the table saw. This is obviously a slight to the 'Saw Horse', which is tragic. Knowing this, I am resisting the temptation to buy what I can afford. I am saving up until I can spend $3,000 on the SawStop. Not having a table saw has been both limiting and liberating. I have added a Bosch circular saw with a Freud blade to my tool collection. Figuring out ways to clamp large pieces of wood, and creating guides with other larger pieces of wood, has improved my creative clamping abilities. So I don't completely mind being patient. Don't tell my mother. She has told me that 'patience is a virtue', to which I have responded with mockery. If she knew that I was performing this virtue, it might result in some counter mockery. Nobody wants that.



People that I trust have told me that the 2nd most important item in a workshop is the router table. I have oscillated back and forth between buying the Kreg table and building my own. As of this moment I am leaning towards building one. It seems like the exercise of building a router table will further advance my education, of course the Kreg table is really pretty, and so it is still a tossup.

To become good enough at woodworking, to build my designs, I will need to do a lot of woodworking. It seems like a catch-22, but I think Joseph Heller would agree that it is not. The decision has been made to focus all my efforts on building work tables, jigs, and accessories for woodworking. Making mistakes on projects that are going to get beat up over time will cause far less mental anguish than botching a design that I love.

I am currently working on a pair of saw horses. They are a design that the late Krenov created. I have cut mortise and tenons. I will need to cut some through mortises. I may even finish the horses, just for the practice.

The last part of my plan is to read everything I can find. My library has 3 books thus far and I am enjoying them. "Selecting and Drying Wood", "Understanding Wood Finishing" by Bob Flexner, and Popular Woodworking's, "The Drawer Book", are all books that I would recommend to friends. I am open to suggestions.

So here is the question of the day:
What are your favorite books on wood working?
Or
Who is your favorite dead English poet?
(Disclaimer, the question of the day may or may not appear on a daily basis. The author reserves the right to substitute a haiku or limerick. He may or may not choose to abandon the question of the day without notice.)
 
#68 ·
To and Fro



It is all back and forth, to and fro, over and over again, until my fingers are sore and angry. Actually my fingers are not only angry, they are bitter and told me in no uncertain terms, "Listen bub, we know you are excited about your new little sharpening station, but either we get a break, or we will wrap ourselves around your neck." I am not brave, so I relented and decided to take a break from sharpening. I checked and my fingers agreed that they would be more than willing to either "Do some walking through the yellow pages, especially if it is the Chinese food section, or be allowed to type up today's blog." It was made clear that the latter option would only be accepted if I let them state their case.



My belief that learning to use hand tool and to take care of them, will serve me well throughout my woodworking life, is not one shared by my fingers. It seems that practicing this skill daily has been met with suspicion by the digits. They don't understand why I would work so hard to sharpen a small cheap chisel that I may never need. I tried to explain that the skill requires that I do it over and over. The case was made that it is better to get good on old chisels than to do a crappy job on new expensive chisels. This argument fell on deaf knuckles.



When I sensed that my fingers were tired of listening and I suspected they were about to turn on me, I gave up. I stand by my position though. Tonight I have spent close to 2 hours on one chisel. The first 70 minutes, minus the time it took to microwave some Tai Pei noodles and wolf them down, were spent on the 1000 grit. I set up my sharpening guide and started. Unlike my two chisels which I bought, the sharpening process started a new angle on the tip of the chisel. The aged worn chisel had likely never been sharpened and the angle was in need of fixing. Having flattened the back side, I figured I was close to done. I was grossly mistaken. The first time I flipped it over I saw that the heal was getting the new edge. It was obvious that I would have to keep sharpening until I had the entire front of the chisel ground down to the correct angle.



The monks, who devote their lives to the sharpening of chisels, would have likely ground the edge down. I have 3 grinders in the garage. They are old, I have never used them, and they look like a heart attack causing shock, just waiting to happen. So I give them a wide berth. Again, the point of sharpening this sad old chisel at all is for the practice. So I should stop complaining. The old adage applies, "be careful what you wish for."



I may have sore angry fingers, but I am starting to get comfortable with the rhythm of the chisel and the wet stone. Is it perfectly sharpened? No, but tomorrow I will work on it some more. And then the day after too, and then perhaps a bit on Sunday, and one day, I will be able to put an edge on a chisel that I can be proud of.
 
#78 ·
Helsinki Games of 56'



The long cold winter swept over Jones County. It had been days since I had ventured past the threshold and I was nearly out of pot stickers. The Meeks residence was at Defcon 2. I was getting stir crazy. Action needed to be taken, so I bundled up, put on a sweatshirt and a coat, followed naturally by one additional coat, and topped off with a pair of gloves and a smart chapeau. The world outside waited and I was certain that there may would be an impulse tool purchase in my very near future.

It just so happens that the Acme tools, which I was sure, would have a tool I might fancy, was on the way to the Wal-Mart. And by on the way I mean that I only needed to drive past Wal-mart by 5 or 6 miles, turn right, and head an additional 4 miles. Sure enough there was a tool I just couldn't live without. A mini dozuki cross cut saw was waiting for me. It had plenty of Japanese characters on the box, and as you know by now, I am powerless against such brilliant packaging. In fact, it didn't have any English on it at all. I assume they do this to keep their exceptional saws a secret, and thus, assure themselves an advantage in the quadrennial hand saw Olympics, which is held in Helsinki this year. Helsinki is most well known for the brilliant Gold medal marathon joint match of 1956, where John Henry Smyth of England was narrowly defeated, by Arashi 'The Storm' Yamamoto, when Smyth suffered hand cramps in the final set and mistakenly cut the lesser known pigeon tail joint, giving the point to Yamamoto. Smyth never recovered and spent the remaining years of his life joining drawer sides with biscuits and gravy. Needless to say his choice to substitute turkey based gravy for wood glue, was at best, a poor one, and few post Helsinki pieces survive today.



Thinking of poor John Henry as I drove home, with pot stickers and new saw safely beside me on the passenger seat, I vowed never to suffer his shame. It has been written that using Japanese hand saws takes a bit of practice, as most woodworkers are use to the Western saws, which cut on the push. I have not used a Western hand saw in the last 25 years or so, and as such, figured that this rule didn't apply to me. I would take my new saw out of its packaging; touch it to wood and with the grace and power of 'The Storm', cut perfectly flat and straight. My assumption was that with one, or possibly two tries, I should be sufficiently trained, to make the saw do my bidding.

Strangely, this was not the case. I clamped a bit of hard maple into the vice, and went at it. The first cut was hideous. Neither straight nor flat, I held the tiny piece of wood in my hand and studied it. I had started out straight and then veered towards my body. Easy enough to fix, I would just cut more slowly and pay attention. I took the added step of drawing a line on my practice wood this time. Surely my second try would be perfect. I followed the line, taking my time, and making sure to take nice easy pulls on my new saw. When I was nearly done, and the piece about to fall off, I had a sense of triumph, knowing that this time I had done it. The triumph was short lived. While I did stay on the line, which was an improvement, I did not cut straight through the wood. I estimate that the 90 degree angle was closer to 86 degrees. I tried again. Again I veered away from my body. The fourth attempt was very close to 90 degrees. One more attempt and I would be an Olympic caliber hand saw user. Sadly the 5th attempt could be described as an embarrassment to me, my family, and even my ancestors. Could I hear John Henry snickering?


After an hour or so, I did feel I was making marked improvement. This skill will, like all the others, take a bit of practice. I do like my new saw though. I like it a bunch. The cuts are smooth, the kerf is thin, and on the rare occasion when I do cut true, the results are quite satisfying. I would recommend the saw to anyone who asks. Of course, since I can't read the packaging, I have no idea who made my little saw. I would say it is a cut above my other Japanese hand saw from the Home Depot. Pun Intended. Now for some pot stickers…yummy.
 
#79 ·
practice , practice , practice !

makes mistakes ,
builds frustration ,
earns rewards !

we are never done with practice ,
it lurks around the shop ,
waiting for us to do something new !
 
#83 ·
My First Project



"When you have completed 95% of your journey, you are only halfway there."
-Japanese Proverb

I need to remember this proverb whenever I approach the end of a project. I find that there are two finish lines when it comes to my tasks. The first finish line is where I start to feel good about what I have accomplished and the second one is where the project is actually completed. This is certainly the case for my workbench. It was, actually still is, my first project. The day that I successfully attached the vice to it, I passed the first finish line. I started to use my workbench and paid no attention to the shelf that wasn't complete.

Today I awoke determined to add that shelf. I dreaded this part of the project for one reason. I would need to flip the bench over to attach the shelf. This one little dread had kept me from this task for a couple of months. So I started the day, with a little chisel sharpening, as a warm up. Best to get some good woodworking mojo going I figured. 30 minutes of warm up and I was ready. I headed downstairs and cleaned off the top of the workbench and then measured.

There is an old adage that you should measure twice and cut once. I always do this. Today I succeeded in misreading the tape measure exactly the same way twice. Every once in a while I look at my tape measure and just get it wrong. Today my tape measure was clearly telling me that it wanted me to write down 45 and 5/8ths inches. I had the 5/8ths correct, but for some reason I looked to the right of the hash for the inch number and went with 46. The terrible thing is that when I checked my measurement I did the exact same thing. So I was off by an inch for the length. In the end, it didn't matter, but I hate making such a silly mistake.



In the interest of practicing my Japanese handsaw skills, I cut the width down by hand. It took me fourteen and a half minutes. I was cutting through ¾ inch MDF. Being curious, I decided to time how long it would take me to set up and cut the length with my Bosch circular saw. I have very little experience with my circular saw, so I need the practice here as well. I bought it about a month ago and have only made a handful of cuts. I have a replaced the Bosch blade with a Freud. The cut took me a total of 6 minutes and 30 seconds to clamp the board, mark the cut, clamp down a guide, and actually do the cutting. I am sure that most competent woodworkers would do this in a minute or two, but I am still a little bit frightened by my circular saw.

The board was now the correct dimensions. I needed to only cut out the notches for the legs and then I would be ready to flip that heavy beast over and attach it. Cutting the notches turned out to be a perfect task for my Japanese hand saw. The only problem with my new saw is that it has a piece along the top to stabilize the blade. This limits its capabilities somewhat. I turned to my other, much lower quality, saw and it worked marvelously. I received a tip from a reader of a previous post. He suggested I cut from below the wood and pull the saw towards the ground. This worked marvelously and I was able to cut quickly and accurately. Learning this trick has made me a better woodworker. Thanks.



Turning the bench over was much less of a pain than I imagined. I attached my shelf and flipped it back over. After centering it in the room I stepped back and was giddy. There was only one thing left to do. I would clean up the cases of my Bosch router and DeWalt drill and then put them on the shelf. I just couldn't put them on the shelf in their current state. Now I actually keep things pretty tidy, but both cases needed a good scrubbing. One thing led to another and I was in the garage cleaning each of my tools. I made great progress and took enormous joy arranging them on the workbench shelf. I cleaned for a long while, and I would estimate that I got it 95% of the way done. I will do the other half tomorrow.
 
#84 ·
:)

Nice bench.

I need to rebuild mine, or probably just build another one. I originally built a new-fangled workbench because it was relatively cheap and I am a sucker for anything with the adjective "new" in it. It has performed adequately, but has some flaws given the way I work.

Now, if I could just get my hands on some really decent beech ….
 
#89 ·
The bench can't be big enough or heavy enough. I mean if you can lay it on it's back and make it upright without a house moving crew - It's not heavy enough.
 
#91 ·
Horrible Dovetail Blunder



The population of Martelle Iowa is in the neighborhood of 350, so one could use the phrase thriving metropolis comfortably. We do not have door to door USPS delivery, which is a little bit of a bummer, but it does have a tremendous upside. The excitement I get when I hop in the care and drive all the way across town to check my post office box. It is almost like Festivus all year round, without the pole or 'airing of grievances'. Actually I don't care for mail, but last Thursday I made several online purchases. En route to zip code 52305 was a brand new Japanese hand saw, which was rated 'Best Overall' by Fine Woodworking. I also ordered, from another site, 8 DVDs and 2 books.
Since I ordered them both on Thursday of last week, and didn't choose any of the fancy pants options with regard to shipping and handling, I didn't expect them until the middle of the week. As a rule, I am more of a average pantaloon shipping sort of guy. So imagine my surprise when there was a long rectangular box waiting for me. After I explained at length, to the Martelle postmaster, what a Japanese hand saw was, and why I am much cooler for owning one, I headed back across town. I drove down the main street, past the Football Stadium, around the Mega Mall, cut across the parking lot to the Subway, and finally after a few more turns, arrived back home. Ok, I may have exaggerated the length of my trip, and some of the sites in Martelle, but you get the point. Though it is a short trip, I was eager to try out my new saw, and what took 4 minutes, seemed like it took well over 5 minutes.



I don't know how to cut a dovetail. I don't know how to mark them. I have picked up a couple of tips, but that is all. Safety is important. I always read the instructions before trying any new tool. This, of course, goes against the 'guy code', but I do it anyway. Luckily for me it is a hand saw, and were there instructions included, they would say, Step 1. Pull, Step 2. Push lightly, Step 3 rinse and repeat. Oh wait, that last one was from my Japanese hair conditioner. I digress.
Without any instructions to impede my progress, I grabbed a pencil, my little angle marker thingy that I bought from an antique shop last weekend. I have no idea what they are called, but I have seen them used in laying out the tails and pins for the aforementioned joinery. I have also read that the real masters don't measure their dovetails, they eyeball it. It is as if the woodworking gods are begging me not to bother with measuring, but are saying instead, "Go forth and run amok with your new saw."



Not wishing to face the wrath of an angry woodworking deity, I quickly marked the tails on a piece of hard maple and clamped it in the vice. I took great care to mark the waste areas with a 'w' so I would not chisel out the wrong bits. I have read that one should cut close to the line and then pare it up the rest of the way, to get a nice fit. One of the problems that 'amok runners' often face is that they blunder. I made a blunder worse than 1. e4 e5 2.Nf3 d6 3. Bc4 Bg4 4.Nc3 a6 5. Nxe5 and black taking the queen on the 5th move. Today I was playing black. I took such care to mark my tails and then I immediately cut on the wrong side of the line. Oh well, that is why I am determined to practice these skills before I try them on something I care about.
I am happy to report that the saw rated 'Best Overall' is a wonderful cutting device. The kerf was thinner than Kate Moss. The saw cut a really straight, albeit poorly place, line. Ok, now it is time to do some more practicing, I think I will work on the Sicilian Dragon and thus avoid the possibility of a blunder on the 5th move.
 
#106 ·
Dovetail Delusions



"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving."

-Albert Einstein

Because of yesterdays joyous trip to the post office, I had high expectations that today I would find a plethora of woodworking DVDs and a smattering of books, waiting for me. My anticipation remains. Driving across the endless miles, actually yards, which make up Martelle, I thought of Albert Einstein and his bike quote. I haven't been on a bike in some time, but I was sure that all I needed to keep my balance was a bit of time practicing dovetails.

After the cutting, sometimes on the correct side of the lines, one needs to remove the waste. I am sure there are a bunch of useful tips on how one does this, but alas I haven't read any of them yet. For some unexplainable reason I seem determined to learn to cut dovetails by hand through experimentation. Even as I write this, it is clear that, this is at best, a dumb idea. Perhaps I will do some research before my next practice session.

A reasonable man would cut a set of pins after a set of tails. I am not a reasonable man. I am a logical man who has delusions of grandeur. Though there are clearly some issues with my first set of tails, I was generally pleased with how they look. I can do better. So I will cut some more practice tails, possibly quite a few of them, before I move onto the pins. There are two good reasons to approach my education this way. One, I am able to focus on one aspect and learn through repetition. Two, the errors one makes don't really become painfully apparent until the pins and tails are joined. I choose to maintain my warm fuzzy feeling for a few days more.

The source of my warm fuzzy feeling isn't the results. It started when I began to clean up the area around the tails with my chisel. As I pared away bits of wood I felt comfortable. I felt like my hands were beginning to get use to manipulating the chisel in a controlled fashion. Though I am delusional about the actual quality of my tails, I am not the least bit delusional about the amount of practice and work it takes to master the use of the chisel. I know that it will be some time until I am there, but seeing progress is all that I need to keep the motivation to continue.



Ok that isn't exactly true. A sign of progress is actually just a one ingredient in the inspiration salad. The recipe for inspiration salad, as it was told to me by Louise, a Cajun chef, motivational speaker, and part time bantamweight boxer, is as follows. One part motivation, two parts natural essence of obsessive compulsive, three tablespoons of competitive juices, mixed in a small wooden bowl (carved by a sharpening monk) and served on a bed of noodles covered in a white wine sauce. This combined with a healthy portion of pot stickers can feed the soul and body.

With each day I feel myself progressing nicely towards my dream of being to woodworking, what Albert Einstein was to the… 'Tour De France'.

Editors Note: It has been pointed out to me that the population of Martelle, according to the most recent census is 280. I stand corrected. I have fired the entire fact checking department, three secretaries, and two people in legal, just for good measure.
 
#107 ·
I've also been pining to learn dovetail cutting. I think for now I'll sit on the fence until I can acquire the high quality (and very expensive) hand tools that will make it as easy as all the videos appear it to be. I'll be watching your progress.
 
#113 ·
It aint my Faulkner



"Sometimes I think it aint none of us pure crazy and aint none of us pure sane until the balance of us talks him that-a-way. It's like it aint so much what a fellow does, but it's the way the majority of folks is looking at him when he does it." -William Faulkner, Novel,1930 'As I Lay Dying'

I enjoyed this novel. I enjoyed it a great deal, especially after I became use to the style, called stream of consciousness, with which Faulkner penned his 'tour de force'. In just 6 weeks, while he was working a power plant, he wrote one of the great novels of the 20th century.

'As I Stood Chiseling', by Louis 'The Ladies Man' Ban, is written in a similar, yet lesser known French literary style, Stream De Merde. The hallmarks of this style involves convoluted and often pointless rambling that have little bearing on the main plot or characters. Some would argue that Ban's chapter on the through mortise is one of the worst 73 pages in literary history, surpassed only by, Henry James Thornton's section about weasels and their dreams in his last book, 'Rodentia Musings' circa 1874. All arguments aside, it is certainly agreed upon by most scholars, that his main character is less interesting than peat moss. The worst point in the Homeresque length diatribe is when he writes, "As I stood chiseling my mind began to wonder, as it often does, to thoughts, not of woodworking, but of other less important things. Would a monkey enjoy cheese? I thought to myself, and if so, would said monkey prefer a finely aged Jarlsberger or sharp cheddar…which reminds me, I haven't sharpened my chisel in some time. I like sharpening my chisel. Why are British comedians able to make everything sound like a double entendre? How do they link any two words together and make them sound dirty, 'How about a tug and a whistle?' seems like something one might hear from their lips. Darn, I took too much from the side." This 'stream' continued on for what seemed like a fortnight.

I would imagine that many of you are thinking the same thing of today's blog and you would be right to do so. I considered writing my musing of minutia and telling you in great length about my through mortise cutting today. Actually, after I typed, 'I cut a couple of through mortises today', I had run out of material. It didn't seem lengthy enough for a blog post, so today I am going to tell you a bit about myself.

To begin with, and in the interest of full disclosure, my blog title is not my own creation. Though I think it is funny and quite clever, the phrase was first uttered in my proximity by Bryce Miller. Bryce is a wordsmith by training and the Executive Sports Editor for the Des Moines Register. If I were to improve my writing by 1000% it would still be only half as good as the pieces he has written. (Bryce = (Brian x 10)/.5)

My friend's fiancé had gotten a new puppy, his name was Roger. Roger was a Treeing Walker ******************** Hound. They have one function in life, from 8 am until 5pm, they bark. Roger barked at leaves, at passers bye, at walnut falling from the trees in the back yard, and often just at the wind. When he was a puppy he looked like a beagle with massive feet. One day Mary was playing with Roger and stood him up and resting his two front legs over her knees. He just stood their content and resting from a long day of disturbing the neighbors. Bryce looked over and Roger and said, "You are Extremely Average." This made me chuckle. And such is the story of how I came to name my blog. It still makes me chuckle.

I have many interests beyond woodworking. I am also an avid photographer. I sell my works through half a dozen stock photo sites. In fact, 3 of the pictures from post #5 have already had sales. I am finding that while I am improving at using hand tools for woodworking, I am also making an equal measure of improvement in lighting still life images. It is also really handy to have all those lights around so that I never have trouble seeing what I am working on.



Another interest is reading. I love books. I like buying them, I like having them neatly displayed on my bookshelves, and most of all I like reading and rereading them. When a novel is so good that it is tough to put down and the mere act of finishing it makes you sad, as there isn't any more, that is quite a good book. I feel that way about, 'To Kill a Mocking Bird', 'The Catcher in the Rye', and 'Snow Crash'. I also felt that way about Vikram Seth's 'A Suitable Boy', and it was 1482 pages of very small type. A good book is a good thing indeed. I am sure someone famous said that, probably with a posh British accent.

So do I have anything substantive to say on the subject of my Woodworking Journey? No. Did I receive the bundle of woodworking DVD's and books I was expecting to find at my local office of post? No. Has this made me more bitter and angry than Rosie O'Donnell? No, that last one was a trick question, and I got it right, as it is not possible, though I am somewhat bitter. I guess I would feel better if I cut some tenons to fit through my through mortises. I think I will grab an apple and head back to the basement for some tenon cutting. Thanks for stopping in and giving me a read. I hope you weren't too disappointed.
 
#114 ·
Never boring, always unique, I too enjoy idle musings but my reading tends more towards fiction from King and Kuntz. Odd Thomas stories always tickle my fancy. Thanks for the story on how you got the name.
Cheers - by the way - you seem like a turner to me for some reason, I think you might enjoy the site of shrinking wood turning into a trinket or bauble. Just a thought.
Later,
Doug
 
#122 ·
Dumb Mistake



It just makes me so darn angry. The life I have led has been one of logic. I am the son of a mathematician and much of my adult working years have been spent as an analyst. When I make a dumb mistake it grates on my nerves worse than finger nails on a chalk board. Now I don't have delusions that I am going to progress in woodworking mistake free. Quite the contrary, I see my mistakes as an opportunity to learn. I have learned a lot.

The angst I am feeling come from not only making a mistake, but spending a inordinate amount of time baffled by what was going on. I stood in my little workshop, no doubt, with a quizzical look on my face and just kept looking at the 4 pieces of wood. I had the two bottom feet and the two legs in hand. I had been careful to label each piece along the way. I am making 2 saw horses. So I labeled the feet, right foot 1, left foot 1, right foot 2, left foot 2, and so on and so forth. Because I am not able to cut perfect mortises and tenons, I felt it was important to make sure that all the pieces fit together as they are labeled. The slight differences mean that the parts won't work as well, if they are interchanged.

Seems reasonable doesn't it. My task today was to cut the tenons on the stretchers. I had cut the through mortises in the legs yesterday. I cut the tenons and though they are not perfect, they are better than any that I have cut before. Additionally, the cutting was much easier using my two new Japanese hand saws. I have read that it takes a bit of practice to get good with them, and that does seem to be the case, but with each cut, I get a little bit more accurate. The stretcher needs a tenon cut on each end, so I labeled the sides, after I marked them, rl rs and rl ls. The moment that the second side was marked, an alarm should have gone off. It did not.



So I took my stretcher downstairs and cut it. After the cutting, I wanted to assemble the feet, legs and stretcher, so that I might photograph it and write my nightly musings. It was the point at which I began assembling, that my brain began to become befuddled. Try saying "Brian's Brain Began to Become Befuddled" four times quickly. I digress.



I grabbed the feet and pounded the legs into them, using my old black rubber mallet, which chooses to leave marks on anything it touches, and I am quite sure, on some things it doesn't. Obviously I need to make a mallet purchase in the near future, but that isn't my point. I grabbed rl rs and pounded it into the right Leg. Then I grabbed rl ls and pounded it into the left leg. I don't know if you see the problem yet. I certainly didn't. The more I tried to make things fit right, the angrier I got. I was fairly disgusted by the time I caught the problem.

My labeling was Right Leg Right Side and Right Leg Left Side. I had used the right leg from both saw horses to mark my stretcher. This was the silliest mistake. A trained Angolan Wrestling Monkey wouldn't have struggled as much as I did with this one stretcher. For the next few minutes I was a little bit fussy. I then swapped out the left foot for the right foot from the second horse, and everything went together.
By the time I had finished photographing, my fuming ceased. I looked over my progress and though I could detect a myriad of mistakes and numerous black marks, I still felt a little bit of happiness welling up from deep in my innards. I have aspirations to create masterworks one day and my first saw horses are not masterworks, but what they are, they are among my first creations. That makes them special. I hope that when I am putting together cabinets or building dining room sets, that I don't forget these first little projects. That the tiny joys from doing something I love are never taken for granted. I pray that I always remember that, an hour in the workshop is to be treasured, even if it makes me a bit fussy.

The next step is to cut kerfs in the tenons, so that I can wedge a hunk of wood in there to make the fit tight. Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel.
 
#123 ·
I always believe the things that I make from wood are special, even if I hate them by the time they are done and have to give them away as quick as possible so as not to be constantly reminded of the flaws and mistakes.

Maybe it is a god complex of some type-something that was alive, that subsequently died or was killed, comes alive again in a new form through the work of my hands! I just don't get the same sort of charge from my paintings or other creations.
 
#140 ·
Gnashing Teeth



Today I drove across Martelle, to the office of post, where I again stared into a cubbyhole filled with emptiness. No DVDs and books for me, in the 'Soup Nazi' voice, ran through my head. After coming home, through rush hour traffic, I sat in my comfy green computer chair, defeated. I know from my days of working in the marketing department at GEICO that the travel time for a piece of mail, from anywhere city, in the continental U.S., to the hamlet of someplace, takes no longer than 6 business days. Iowa sits smack dab in the middle of all the anywheres and someplaces in the country, so I figured 3. Today is day 6 and unbeknownst to The Taunton Press; they hang precariously on the precipice of a cliff, overlooking a valley filled with a pack of angry blog.

The thing about a pack of wild blog, with their teeth gnashing while they run amok, is that they can't be controlled. An angry blog will, given a chance, eat it weight in bad publicity within minutes. And don't even get me started about their breeding. They make rabbits look like vestal virgins. If you find an angry blog, after a meal of 1000 words of vitriol and spite, it will be very amorous towards others of its ilk. It will seek out other blogs to mate with. Twitter is an incredible breeding ground for these creatures. It seems that everyone in the world is trying to fix these little fuzzy and ravenous creatures up, just to watch them multiply. And don't even try to herd them; they are as likely to be driven in a single direction as a gaggle of cats. (I realize that it is geese that are a gaggle, but I am exercising my legal right to poetic license.)



Now some of you may not have heard of these beasts. Perhaps you know of them by their Latin name, Blogus Rantopotamus? Whether you have heard of them or not, it is wise to know they are out there. To truly understand the Blogus Rantopotamus, one must know of their origin. They are a fairly new breed of animal, though some would call them a plague or a virus. The story of their origins is unclear and you may well find many different version of how they came to be. This is my favorite.



In a warehouse in Poughkeepsie NY, an aging accountant sat at his desk. He had studied cost accounting in school and married his high school sweetheart, who attended Vassar. She left him after three years, for a woman she met at a poetry slam, and since that day, he has been bitter and angry. This is important because on this day, about seven and a half years ago, a new shipping clerk was preparing a box of miniature replica blunder busses for shipping. The accountant screamed, "What are you doing?!" at the young man, a recent college graduate in computer science, who hadn't really bothered to find a real job yet. I was getting this order ready to go out. "When did they order it?", "The order just came in on from the website (www.blunderbusRus.com), if I hurry I can get it out tonight." The accountant screamed louder, "Did they pay for express shipping and handling?!", "No, but I am not sending it express, I am sending it through the regular mail." The clerk said sheepishly. "Where do they live?!", the accountant bellowed, though he knew the answer. "They live in New Jersey. If it goes out tonight, they will get it tomorrow or the next day." He responded, trying to understand why this was a big deal. "We don't want the customer to get them quickly, because if we do that, then nobody will pay for express shipping and handling! Are you an idiot?" said the accountant.



The clerk had studied TOC (Theory of Constraints) in college and knew that the totally variable costs were fixed and that his reasoning was wrong. He knew that in the long run a happy customer was better than earning an extra 2 dollars by making them think they needed express. But he also knew that if he refused to do as the accountant said, he might have to start looking for a real job, and he didn't want to do that before the summer was over. So he went home and later that night, in his mother's basement, next to the washer and dryer, he forwent World of War Craft and anonymously unleashed the first beast on the world. Unfortunately for the accountant, the blog reproduced through mitosis and the hungry pack of blogs eventually found him and ate his face off.

Tune in tomorrow when the blog either be an angry rant at Taunton Press or a lengthy description of my own foibles…and now back to your regularly scheduled programming…
…so in conclusion, I would like to say, "I love woodworking."

[Editors Note: An angry Blogus Rantopotamus has yet to be photographed. So we went with flowers.]
 
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