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Honorary Lumberjock Down Ms. D.

11K views 76 replies 19 participants last post by  Greg3G 
#1 ·
Honorary LumberJock Down....Ms. D



I am hurting tonight.

For those of you who have followed my blog you will remember my next door neighbor Ms. D.

She is the handicapped elderly lady who lived next door to me. She had a profound influence on my recovery from my accident and me getting into woodworking and home remodeling.

On Sunday morning I got a call from her. This is not unusual because I check on here at least once a day and take my basset hounds over for her to spend the day with her.

These hounds are her "kids".

They are a large part of the reason for her recovery from depression after her mother who also was her best friend passed away.

She is alone in life. She really only has those of us who live on our block.

Besides her faith and church , all she really has is our companionship. Her family lives a long distance from her and they aren't very close.

i got my Sunday morning call. However this time she was in trouble.

She had fallen and couldn't get up.

I rushed over and found here laying on the floor. She was alert. She had tripped and fallen down. She said her leg hurt. She couldn't feel her toes.

I suspected right away she had broken the leg.

I told her I was going to dial 911 and get some help. I was in no position to lift her alone.

She resisted me calling 911 because she didn't want all the fuss and was worried about what the neighbors would think.

She also confided in me that she hadn't changed blouses yet that morning.

She asked me to just sit with her for a moment and comfort her.

I did that.

I then called 911.

With in minutes help arrived.

She was taken to the hospital and they took x-rays.

She had broken it in two places and required surgery.

She had a rod placed the full length of her lower leg.

She is expected to make a recovery but this will take time and require extensive rehab in a special rehab nursing home.

I assured her that I would be there ever step of the way and bring the basset hounds over for regular visits. That seemed to make her feel better.

She called me this morn to tell me they had changed her room. She had a roommate whom she got along with well. She introduced me to her,while visiting her yesterday.

She called her name after she got off the phone with me last night and she didn't answer. She called again.

It was to apparently to late.

They moved Ms.D. to another room.

She called me afraid and sad this morning.

I tried comforting her.

I hope I did.

If you will ,please remember Ms D in your prayers and thoughts.

I shall.
 
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#6 ·
You are a great neighbor… Around here the church makes sure things are handled and visits are made… when I lived in California there were those who went out of the way to make themselves acquainted with those in the neighborhood but most never met their neighbors let alone going the the extent that you have. Good for you… You make the world a better place…
 
#7 ·
Lately I've been wondering what type of world we live in where people can just walk in to a room full of others and just shoot them. Well it's nice to see there are also people like you out there who help take care of others! We will keep her in our thoughts as well.

Steve
 
#12 ·
They both were pretty much in my way..... and that was just fine!

Two weeks ago today Ms. D my elderly neighbor lady and day care for my basset hounds and one of the biggest influences for me getting into woodworking and taking on the restoring "This Old Crack House", fell in her home and broke here leg in three places.





She had surgery. She had rods, pins, and screws placed from the knee down to the toes.

We moved her to a rehab nursing home two days after surgery.

Other than an older brother who lives 1000 miles away and is suffering from cancer there is no other living immediate family.

Over the last ten years we have become her family. Our block, her church and a few others are all she has left.

She has taken on the role of the, cheer leader, lunch lady and advice giver over the years since our moving here to the neighborhood, that she has lived in for 67 years.

At her insistence every Saturday and Sunday mornings along with several other days in between she has taken it upon herself to bake rolls, cup cakes, other assorted goodies along with lunch, to serve all of us who have been involved in not only the rehab of "This Old Crack House', but what ever wood working projects that were going on in the shop.

This has been going on for years.

She insists.

Any effort to discourage this is met with stern looks, sharp tongue and cold shoulder.

I have tried to explain 500 times she doesn't have to do this.

Every time she sternly lectures me with the" I know I don't have to do this, I want to lecture".

This is followed by the snide comments only a stubborn German lady would make. One of her favorites is "have you been inhaling too many fumes and finally gone plum nuts?

Followed by that look.

I never answer her question.

This exchange is Immediately followed by her suggested menu for lunch she wants to cook for all of us that day.

This is a weekly argument.

She always wins.

Being in the nursing home is hard on her.

She calls several times a day to see how her "kids," my basset hounds are doing and other trivial things like, are you eating right?

Because she lives alone and at this point is unable to care for here self yet, she has to remain in the nursing home.

This is killing her.

Besides she had no way to get into her home being in a wheel chair, even if we could have got home care nursing for her.

That was until yesterday.

One of her biggest fears is to end up in a nursing home, for the rest of her life.

Alone.

To die.

She won't come out and say this.

I can tell it weighs heavy on her mind.

She says she tells the nursing home staff that her life is at home not here. She tells them she's not I'm not ready to go yet.

They nod and say they understand. But they point out that her home isn't set up for handicap access.



It will be.

Several of us who have benefited from Ms.D's company and good food have gone to work to be sure that her home will accommodate her. We also don't want the nursing home to have a excuse to keep her for any length of time beyond what is necessary.





So far we have poured several yards of concrete to widen all her side walks so she can get here wheel chair up and down them with ease. Today we were going to build her a handicap ramp, so she could get into her home.

The next project will be to build her a handicap bath room access.

Yesterday,my brother in law and 80 something year old father came to help me build a handicap access ramp into her house.



My father who suffers from Parkinson disease and has had recent back surgery insisted he come to help us and in his own words "would assure we would get the job done right" came to help build this ramp for Ms. D.





I tried to convince dad that he didn't have to help, and he could just sit and watch us.

I got the look and the lecture.

He said, "Just because I don't buy green bananas anymore doesn't mean I don't have anything to offer".

"I'm old, not helpless." he said.

"Besides I know if I needed a ramp, Ms. D would make the lunch for you guys so you could do the job".

I lost another argument.

For the day he was in charge.

He was in his glory.

We let him be there.

I asked why at the end of the day why he didn't come down more to my shop, not to work but just hang out.

He said, "You never invited me".

Ouch.

One thing for sure, his body maybe slowly going, but his mind and tongue work just fine.



 
#30 ·
On the brink of loseing everything she has...



I've make a point to call Ms. D. at least twice a day. and visit her in person at least three times a week. I know she is lonely, afraid, but most of all simply bored.

It seems to pick her up; I can tell by the tone in her voice.

I know she has been feeling a lot of anxiety lately. She went to visit the orthopedic surgeon last Friday. The news wasn't very good. The break turned out to be much worse than originally thought. The healing time would be at least doubled if not more. It will be at least 6 weeks before she is even able to put the slightest weight on her leg.

She took this news hard.

She has made the best of the rehab in the nursing home. It's been a struggle for her.

Then she got the devastating news. The Dr. said she couldn't go home, for at least 6 weeks. That was followed by "your Medicare Insurance will run out Wednesday".

She was told she wouldn't be allowed to go home because she is considered at risk and a vulnerable adult . They determined shes unable to care for her self in the condition that she is in.

She called me. She was upset. Scared.

She wasn't sure what to do or what her options were if any.

Confusion and fear began to take over. She was having an anxiety attack.

I listened. I attempted to calm here.

I fell short . I also felt helpless for the moment.

All I could do was assure her I would do every thing I could to help.

I had no clue what I could do if anything at that moment.

I just did what I do best.

Nothing.

I listened and let her express her fears and concerns.

I had nothing magic to say or wisdom to convey. I just tryed to comfort, and remain strong.

I have no doubt I fell short again in my efforts.

I never know if just listening helps. I just feel helpless, at times like this. All I can do is remain steadfast in my faith that things will work out for the best.I try remain calm and assuring. I don;t ride the roller coaster of emotions. I have never found this to be helpful.

Ms. D's greatest fear is she won't be allowed to return home. This is very real.

They have already began the process of ascertaining as to if she's able to pay for her care. Another part of this process is to do an asset inventory and discloser.

She is a woman of modest means. Her social security is her only source of income along with a modest amount of savings. It has always been her intention to leave what ever she had left , if anything to her church. She was very active in her church when her health was better . She found great comfort there. Her house is paid for but not worth what the care in a nursing home would cost, for about two years or until the proceeds, are gone. She would then become a ward of the state or county.

This is very scary for her. Also , a reality check!

And the same for me.

However this is about her and not me. I will be fine it's her I worry about. I tell my self I will remain strong for her and make her a promise.

I tell her I would do every thing I possibly can to help her in keeping home. I also promise to do what I can to get her back home as soon as possible.

I had no clue what I was going to be able to do if anything at the time.

I am a man of my word.

I would keep my promise to try help, regardless of the outcome I would try.

I needed to come up with a plan and fast. I told here I would. I would get back to her with my plan in a couple hours. We then could go from there.

We desperartly needed a starting point and a well thought out plan of action.

I knew that hope was or is not a plan. It is a wish and emotion. We needed something much more concrete.

We also needed hope and prayers. I was confident that part was being done by a lot of other people.

This is where my experience being a para-legal came in handy again.

I new what needed to be done. And fast. I knew she had a follow up appointment with the staff social worker for the nursing home and the care team Monday at 2.00 o'clock.

It was Friday already.

Over the weekend my brother-in-law and my father had come down to help me built a handicapped ramp to her house. I knew this would be the minimum required for the first step for her to go home. I wanted to get a jump on this and be able to show to the social workers at Monday's meeting that she had access and egress to her house. Her safety wouldn't be a concern then.

I could tell she was very apprehensive about the meeting.

I offered to attend it with her if she liked.

She accepted my offer and seemed very relieved.

I visited with her over the weekend and tried to prepare her for this meeting the best I could.

We met at 2 o'clock.

The conference room was full of staff from the nursing home. It was a cold drab room. The atmosphere was tense.

There was no pretending the stakes were high.

We all knew this. She sensed it also.

There was no pretending this would be a defining moment ,at least for the immediate future for Ms. D.

I had talked at length with her and tried to prepare her for any and all possibilities. She said she understood.

I knew she didn't.

I told her I felt we needed to go on the offensive and make our case for why she can go home. She agreed and we formed a plan and I would present it at the meeting.

The major points were.

A. The ramp had been built alone with barrier free access to her house.

B. We would propose that with home care nursing services along with other professional services like physical therapy be part of her recovery.

C. I would convert the dining room and living room to barrier free rooms. I would move her bed out to living room so her wheel chair would freely move around.

D. A temporary portable toilet would be rented and installed until permanent changes could be made to the existing bath room, making it handicap accessible.
E. A temporary nursing service would be hired to come in at least 3 times a week to monitor her progress and on going recovery.

F. Meals for wheels program would be obtained for home delivery of a hot meal once a day.

G. On going housekeeping and personal care help would be obtained from a certified nursing assistant service.

H. Home delivery of groceries would be set up along with a microwave and other small appliances that would be available and in a reach of her while in a wheel chair.

I. Regular well being checks would be scheduled with the nursing home along with on going out patience physical therapy visits.

J. An application for alternative transportation services such as Metro Mobility would be make and explored.

K. A test run to her home, monitored by the nursing home staff ,was proposed along with an evaluation of her current living conditions and any recommended changes would be made prior to her coming home.

L. Permanent long term plans would be addressed for the over all health and future care that might be needed.


Other concerns and minor points were addressed.

The nursing home staff seemed to be in a state of shock.

They all but had prepared for Ms.D. to sign over the deed to her house and for them to take over the long term care.

Not so fast.

She may be old and injured from her fall, but she isn't helpless.

They needed to be reminded of this little fact.

I did, as did she.

They didn't know how to respond.

I didn't give them much of a chance.

I asked "what time tomorrow will you be able to conduct the evaluation."

Some what taken back and surprised by our request they said "we would have to check staff schedules first and get back to you".

I said, "Great let's do that now, I will await a time you can come"

Not giving them an out or excuse.

They looked at each other as if they were in a state of bewilderment.

I chimed in and said, "how about 11 am, that will give Ms. D. time to arrange her ride and for me to prepare the house for the inspection".

No one said a word.

I got up and said, thank you and we will see you tomorrow at 11.

I then wheeled Ms. D. out side to enjoy the sunshine.

It had been very dark and gloomy in that room for a while.

For now at least, we were experiencing the comfort of the warm rays of sunshine.

We both just sat quietly.

Reflecting.
 
#33 ·
Clap! Clap! Clap! Yeah Dusty. I great defense is a potent offence. Way to make them sit-up and notice, that they are not in control of the world.
 
#53 ·
Decsion Day...The staff meeting....Does she get to go home or lose her home?

After the meeting at the nursing home with all the staff and interested parties in Ms. D's future care there was a lot of anxiety.

This was understandable. After all the stakes were high.

M.s. D. Had been declared a vulnerable adult and her care was no longer in her control. The government, nursing staff, Dr.s and county social workers all had some say in present and future decisions.

In a previous meeting with all of the interested parties a plan was laid out for her return to her own home.

She wasn't sleeping well since that meeting.

I wasn't sleeping at all.

Her future and fate was at the hands of someone else. She tried to put the best face on it as possible.

I saw this face and it was ugly. I never let her know this.

I never wavered form our plan and my commitment to bring her back home.

I had no choice, I had to be the rock, but confess, doubts haunted me.

We held steadfast, others prayed for us.

The day arrived that the inspection was to take place in order to determine if Ms. D. could come back home.

She had been busy lining up all the things we promised in the meeting.

Several of us had been busy getting her home ready for her return.

The time arrived.

I will never forget the rented transportation van pulling up in her yard, backing in and opening the back door. The wheel chair lift deploying so she was able to get off the van.



This all seemed surreal.

For a moment, the enormity of what was at stake with this inspection, caused chills and some slight panic feelings.

Ms. D. started talking nervously with the staff that had followed the van over to her home. She was trying to make small talk and commenting about how nice the yard looked and how good it felt to be at home.

She was nervous.

Very nervous.

She wasn't alone.

Hers was evident, I refused to show mine. I took control of the wheel chair and headed for the handicap ramp that we had built for her the previous weekend.

We rolled right up the ramp and into the house.

Various members of the nursing home staff made comments about how nice the ramp was and how easy she could get in and out of the house.

Ms.D jumped in and asked "does this mean I pass the inspection".

They said "well … this part of the inspection yes".

We had moved her bed into the living room, removed all the rugs and any hazards that were present along with setting up a table, microwave, special telephone, and various other helpful things to aid in her return.



Ms. D. was put through various tests and tasks. She had to demonstrate she could get in and out of her wheelchair into the bed, portable commode, and chair. She had to prove that she could get out in case of a fire.

She performed all the requested tasks.

She struggled some. It was hard watching her do this but I couldn't do them for her.

It seemed after each test she would ask anxiously "did I pass".

They never really responded. They just smiled and said "we have a lot to consider".

From time to time they asked me questions. I would answer them the best I could.

They had concerns about the bathroom.

I explained that we had made arrangements for the time being to use a portable commode I had already applied for and received a building permit for the bathroom remodel. I had drawn a plan for making the bathroom handicap accessible, and showed this plan to the staff, in the event it should become necessary in the future.

I pointed out that until a decision to allow Ms. D back to her home was made, it was an unnecessary expense and burden on her at this point.

I assured them that should it become necessary or a requirement of her return to home these changes to make the bathroom handicap assessable could be make in a short amount of time. Every thing was in place to make this happen quickly.

I produced an approved building permit showing the changes I described to them.

They were silent.

The inspection ended.

I rolled Ms.D. back to the waiting van to take her back to the nursing home.

Her Medicare had run out and she was paying 259 dollars a day for her room alone at the nursing home. She was anxious to come home.

She asked again "did I pass"

They would only say they would have a staff meeting later this after noon and advise her.

They started heading back to there cars. I asked "may I take a few minutes and go get the basset hounds so Ms. D. could see them before she returned to the nursing home.

They said, "Sure take as long as you like".

We did.

I rolled her back to the deck, got the ice tea out, some homemade treats, along with the basset hounds.



It was just like many other summer days previously that we did the same exact thing.

We just sat there in the sun, enjoying the moment, not knowing if this would perhaps be the last one.

Not a word was said about that possibility.

We both were thinking it, that I knew.

Some things just don't need to be said.

We just enjoyed the moment.

The time came to load her back up and return to the nursing home.

I said "good bye for now" as I shut the door and waved as the van pulled out.

I really didn't know if it was the last time she might be allowed to come home or not.

The phone rang at 5 pm.

It was Ms. D. In a cracking voice she said "I get to come home".

That was all I needed to hear.

Our prayers had been heard.

I thanked God.

Now I thank all of you.

Ms. D is coming home next week.

For now at least, they agreed to allow her to come home on a trial basis.

The score… Ms.D 2 Nursing home 0
 
#71 ·
A simple request...is all Ms. D had wanted and looked so forward to...



Time flies. It passes us by like we are standing still on a freeway.

Six weeks ago yesterday, Ms D. fell and broke her leg in three places. The compound fracture was severe and resulted in surgery. This led to a stay for what has been the beginning of a slow and bumpy road to recovery in a nursing home.

The recovery process is underway, although slow, Ms. D. is grateful to be home.

Many challenges and opportunities to learn how to cope with being confined to a wheelchair and to a very limited area of her house has been part of her daily ritual.

As time has passed, Ms. D. has gained new skills each day not only to cope with her status of being incapacitated, but learning how to make the most of her limitations.

This had not been an easy journey for Ms. D who is a very humble and strong person who despite being handicapped most of here life has been able to rise to the challenges and make the most of what she had been presented with.

Not once has she complained.

I however at times can see the frustration on her face.



Her determination to over come her current status and medical condition is inspiring.

Her days are spent, when possible, outside on her deck with my basset hounds keeping her company, mostly reading and recovering from the fall.

Medicare reimbursement for her in home nursing services and physical therapy restricts her to being confined to her home. The only exception to this is if she has a doctor appointment or for church attendance.

Each morning I would have coffee with her and check on her hourly when I was home working in my shop. When possible I would wheel her over to my shop to spend some time away from the lonely confines of her small home.

All of Ms. D,'s family are either gone or out of state. Most of her friends are either very elderly or frail and are confined to nursing homes and are unable to visit her.

She gets lonely.

I do my best to try filling this void.

Unfortunate, I had to return to my seasonal job as a State Building Code, and Ordinance Enforcement Inspector. I have been on loan to a city for two years working on special projects involving foreclosures, former crack houses, condemnations and, other blighted residential projects.
It is very challenging and at the same time very rewarding, working with the various individuals and neighborhood groups.

One of the greatest challenges is the proliferation or meth houses. Foreclosures are also up twenty four percent. This fact has become a significant challenge for neighborhoods and cities alike.

This job takes me out of my shop and is done in addition to my driving bus duties I have in the morning rush hour shift.

This makes for long days, and limits the time I can spend with Ms.D.

She understands this.

That doesn't make it any easier.

We just some how make due and do the best we can.

I check in several times a day with her, and I am able to come home over lunch hour at times to visit her.

She also has other care givers from time to time along with basset hounds to keep her company.

She does as well as anyone could.

Never complaining.

She is very grateful to just be home.

She makes the best of her situation.

The only request she has had since returning home from the nursing home, has been that she wanted to attend church if possible.

She is a quiet woman of deep faith.

It has bothered her that, up until now, she has been unable to attend church.

Permission and arrangements were made for her to attend church Sunday.

She simply was gleeful and very excited about attending church Sunday. Each and every day, leading up to Sunday she talked about being able to get away to attend church.

Sunday morning arrived.

She was up bright and early. She had her Sunday best outfit on that she had me set out the night before.

She was radiant.

She looked good in her dress with her hair fixed. She spent a long time preparing the best she could, considering the circumstances.

She made arrangements for a company who provides rides for elderly and handicapped persons to pick her up at 8:10 am for 9 am services.

I went over to her home at 7:45, to see if she needed any help getting ready for church.

She was already sitting on the deck, waiting for her ride.

Excited, and chipper.

This was her day. It finally had arrived.

I pushed her to the front of the house and waited with her until her ride arrived keeping her company.

It was a sunny cool morning. We visited while waiting patiently.

Her ride was to be there at 8:15, it was 8:20 no sight of her ride yet.

8:25, nothing yet.

8:30 still no sign of them.

Ms. D. only said "church is at 9:00 gosh I hope we aren't late," as she looked down the street.

8:35 her ride showed up.

Visibly relieved she waited as he deployed the lift for her wheel chair.

I said good bye to her and told her I was going to pick up her groceries and would be waiting for her when she returned at 11:00.

She said, "Be sure to pick fresh vegetables, not to take what is on top" as she waited for her attendant to load her and her wheel chair on the lift.

I walked across the street to my house, waving as I opened my garage door.

I began to get ready to go grocery shopping. For some reason I decided to look out the window and see that she was on her way to church.

I looked across and down the street. I noticed the attendant unloading her and pushing her back up to the curb and driveway. He then began fuddling with the lift. It was apparent he was having trouble with the wheel chair lift.

I returned to her and the van, to she what the trouble was. A red light was flashing and an alarm was sounding. I asked the attendant if he needed help and was having trouble.



He replied, "the wheel chair lift wont work, to load her". I asked if I could help, I explained I drive bus and use a wheel chair lifts several times a day.

Even though this wheel chair lift was not the same I was used to I was very familiar with how they operated in general.

He said, "I have never been trained on this lift, this is a new van, and I am not familiar with this type of lift".

There was no reason to get upset with him I thought to my self, that wouldn't solve the problem but I admit I was a bit miffed at the company for sending out a driver who wasn't properly trained on the handicap accessibility equipment.

Besides being both state and federal law, its part of the basic service they provide.

I took control. I shut off the override switch, located the manual jack and began the manual process to return the lift to starting position. I then informed the driver he was parked to close to the incline of the cement driveway and needed to move his van out about a foot.

I also pointed out he had loaded Ms. D. back wards and the lift wouldn't deploy in that position as a built in safety measure.

He moved the van.

I then redeployed the lift and loaded Ms. D into the van. I then got on the van and secured the wheel chair with the restraints.

This took less than 4 minutes, however it was almost 8:55 now.

Services were at nine.

They were ten minutes away.

I instructed the driver how to unload and load her as I secured the wheel chair.

I quickly finished and told the drive to go.

I got off the van and watched as he pulled away.

I could see Ms. D, from the rear of the van thru the window.

She was smiling as she wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks with a tissue.

I some how felt if I looked up, some one else would be smiling also.

I quietly said thank you.

Out loud.

I returned home to go get her groceries, recalling that she had told me to be sure not to pick the vegetables that were on top of the pile.

I didn't.
 
#72 ·
This is the second time you got me crying today. What a nice guy you are. I just found a church I really like I am beginning to know what she must of felt when she thought she wasn't going to make it to church that day.

I wish you lived near I'd take some woodworking lessons next time you offered them.

Diane
 
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