LumberJocks

Woodworking blog entries tagged with 'joke'

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View Dave's profile

Has anyone heard a good woodworking joke lately [in memory of the walnut dealer]

1258 days ago by Dave | 17 comments »

Did you here about the guy at the sawmill who had the whole left side of his body cut off? Don’t worry, he’s all right. Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish Not a joke you tell, but rather, one you play. You look wistfully into the blue sky and say “hey! dad will be on the plane by now” Your companion will invariably ask “where’s he going?” You respond ...

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View WoodSparky's profile

Wrong E-Mail Address

1590 days ago by WoodSparky | 7 comments »

This one is priceless. A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down th...

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View itsme_timd's profile

New Nail Gun from DeWalt - Great for Father's Day!

1864 days ago by itsme_timd | 6 comments »

Hey there LJ’s! I haven’t been very active here in a while, life seems to have gotten in the way of my shop time for several months now. However, I haven’t forgotten about this wonderful community and when I saw this great new product from DeWalt I KNEW I had to share it with all my Lumberjock friends. If any of you have this already, let us know how it works! :-) New Nail Gun, made by DeWALTIt can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards. This makes c...

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View PurpLev's profile

Customer Service - has this ever happened to you?

1953 days ago by PurpLev | 8 comments »

I’ve actually heard other’s speak of similar experience, but as I’ve never had it first hand, I had always spoke in favor of the stores, and tried to bring a second side to each story. This time – I was on an unfamiliar side of the story… maybe this has happened to you? I’m in the market for a new table saw, I had sold mine (maybe a bit prematurely, as I am without one for the time being – although with not too much time to be had in the shop, ...

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View Karson's profile

How did the Madoff Swindle get started?

2030 days ago by Karson | 11 comments »

Here’s how the Madoff swindle got started.

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View Grumpy's profile

For all the Texans & others who like a laugh

2290 days ago by Grumpy | 31 comments »

An email from a friend that I thought was worth sharing;Dept of water and Rancher A Department of Water representative stopped at a ranch and talked withan old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch foryour water allocation.” The old rancher said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The Water representative said, “Mister, I have the authority of FederalGovernment with me. See this card? The card means I am allowed...

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View mrtrim's profile

i chuckled

2290 days ago by mrtrim | 16 comments »

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Canadian man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. ‘We’re sorry sir, But we have some information about your wife,’ said one Mountie.‘Tell me! Did you find her?’ the anguished husband sobbed.The Mounties looked at each other. One said, ‘We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?’Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said, &...

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View Karson's profile

Valentine Day One-liners

2353 days ago by Karson | 14 comments »

Valentine’s Day Oneliners What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?Hogs and kisses! What would you get if you crossed Odie with the god of love?A stupid cupid! Sorry Odie That was the way it came to me. Not a slam, don’t get mad. Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?It was Valenswine’s Day! Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?Sure, they’re very scent-imental! What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?“...

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