Woodworking blog entries tagged with 'joke'

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #1: The Original CNC

02-20-2015 01:56 AM by Dave Rutan | 6 comments »

Chisel -N- Carving Mallet

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View paxorion's profile

Why buy it when you can make it! #31: I went for some Swedish meatballs, and walked out with a bonus chuckle

01-19-2015 03:46 PM by paxorion | 3 comments »

My 3 year old daughter associates the letter I with 3 things: her name, ice cream, and IKEA. This past weekend, I took her to IKEA to get ice cream, and to cause chaos running around the showroom. Armed with a bag (which was quickly forgotten) she got to work, wrecking a few hours of havoc in the store (and my psyche). About 2 hours in, we got to the dresser section. While I was there, a husband and wife couple were “cordially” debating over the stained or laminate venee...

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View Dave's profile

Has anyone heard a good woodworking joke lately [in memory of the walnut dealer]

02-13-2011 08:32 AM by Dave | 17 comments »

Did you here about the guy at the sawmill who had the whole left side of his body cut off? Don’t worry, he’s all right. Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish Not a joke you tell, but rather, one you play. You look wistfully into the blue sky and say “hey! dad will be on the plane by now” Your companion will invariably ask “where’s he going?” You respond ...

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View WoodSparky's profile

Wrong E-Mail Address

03-17-2010 09:40 AM by WoodSparky | 7 comments »

This one is priceless. A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down th...

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View itsme_timd's profile

New Nail Gun from DeWalt - Great for Father's Day!

06-16-2009 04:40 PM by itsme_timd | 6 comments »

Hey there LJ’s! I haven’t been very active here in a while, life seems to have gotten in the way of my shop time for several months now. However, I haven’t forgotten about this wonderful community and when I saw this great new product from DeWalt I KNEW I had to share it with all my Lumberjock friends. If any of you have this already, let us know how it works! :-) New Nail Gun, made by DeWALTIt can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards. This makes c...

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View PurpLev's profile

Customer Service - has this ever happened to you?

03-19-2009 08:52 PM by PurpLev | 8 comments »

I’ve actually heard other’s speak of similar experience, but as I’ve never had it first hand, I had always spoke in favor of the stores, and tried to bring a second side to each story. This time – I was on an unfamiliar side of the story… maybe this has happened to you? I’m in the market for a new table saw, I had sold mine (maybe a bit prematurely, as I am without one for the time being – although with not too much time to be had in the shop, ...

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View Karson's profile

How did the Madoff Swindle get started?

01-02-2009 07:31 AM by Karson | 11 comments »

Here’s how the Madoff swindle got started.

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View Grumpy's profile

For all the Texans & others who like a laugh

04-17-2008 04:13 AM by Grumpy | 31 comments »

An email from a friend that I thought was worth sharing;Dept of water and Rancher A Department of Water representative stopped at a ranch and talked withan old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch foryour water allocation.” The old rancher said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The Water representative said, “Mister, I have the authority of FederalGovernment with me. See this card? The card means I am allowed...

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View mrtrim's profile

i chuckled

04-16-2008 02:47 PM by mrtrim | 16 comments »

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Canadian man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. ‘We’re sorry sir, But we have some information about your wife,’ said one Mountie.‘Tell me! Did you find her?’ the anguished husband sobbed.The Mounties looked at each other. One said, ‘We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?’Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said, &...

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View Karson's profile

Valentine Day One-liners

02-14-2008 01:51 AM by Karson | 14 comments »

Valentine’s Day Oneliners What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?Hogs and kisses! What would you get if you crossed Odie with the god of love?A stupid cupid! Sorry Odie That was the way it came to me. Not a slam, don’t get mad. Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?It was Valenswine’s Day! Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?Sure, they’re very scent-imental! What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?“...

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