LumberJocks

Woodworking blog entries tagged with 'joke'

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #8: The Ultimate Metric Conversion Chart

06-08-2016 01:53 PM by Dave Rutan | 6 comments »

Got this in my Joke of the Day. Haven’t seen this before. (Perhaps I should get out more.) The Ultimate Metric Conversion Chart 1,000,000,000,000 Microphones = 1 Megaphone 1,000,000 bicycles = 2 megacycles 500 millinaries = 1 seminary 2,000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds 10 cards = 1 decacards 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn 0.000001 fish = 1 microfiche 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake 1,000,000,000,000 pins = 1 terrapin 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 p...

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #7: The Push Stick Song!

04-06-2016 10:53 AM by Dave Rutan | 8 comments »

View on YouTube Just something I had to do. Esperanto version here: [link]

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #6: April Fool's Day Fail

04-02-2016 05:38 PM by Dave Rutan | 0 comments »

I put up this legitimate (finished and made of wood), yet lame project to see if it would hit the DT3. I think it made it to 11. I would have had a good laugh at DT3! I should have added the word ‘jig’ to the title. Link to project [link]

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #5: John Heisz Signs on for Some Torture

03-29-2016 07:17 PM by Dave Rutan | 9 comments »

View on YouTube A pared down portion of a recent video by John Heisz. Someone in the comments of his video suggested putting Yackety Sax behind the video. One section made me laugh harder than I have in a while, so I vowed to make what you see here to share. Apologies to John Heisz.

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #4: Mi faris 'ion' el ligno!

01-11-2016 06:58 PM by Dave Rutan | 1 comment »

Why is this in any way funny? Simply because in the subject line, the word ‘ion’ means ‘something’ in Esperanto. The subject line in English would read ‘I made ‘something’ out of wood!’ Cue the laugh track [link] This is my first ‘project’ made with my scroll saw.

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #3: Bad Boys!

12-31-2015 10:06 PM by Dave Rutan | 2 comments »

The two elephants are friends of my daughter from of old. The mouse lemur, Mort is a newcomer from last year. Evidently the boys got into my clamps.

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #2: Cross Language Pun

07-24-2015 09:50 PM by Dave Rutan | 6 comments »

Above you see a wooden sculpture of a tornado It is a wood tornado. The word for ‘wood’ in Esperanto is ligno Ligno-tornado means wood turning, (like on a lathe) in Esperanto. Ligno-tornado also means ‘wood tornado’, (like the funnel storm) in Esperanto. (context would differentiate the meanings.)...Cue laugh track. N.B. Not responsible for health issues due to sustained laughter from this post. What’s Esperanto? [link]

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Feeble Attempts at Humor #1: The Original CNC

02-20-2015 01:56 AM by Dave Rutan | 6 comments »

Chisel -N- Carving Mallet

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Why buy it when you can make it! #31: I went for some Swedish meatballs, and walked out with a bonus chuckle

01-19-2015 03:46 PM by paxorion | 3 comments »

My 3 year old daughter associates the letter I with 3 things: her name, ice cream, and IKEA. This past weekend, I took her to IKEA to get ice cream, and to cause chaos running around the showroom. Armed with a bag (which was quickly forgotten) she got to work, wrecking a few hours of havoc in the store (and my psyche). About 2 hours in, we got to the dresser section. While I was there, a husband and wife couple were “cordially” debating over the stained or laminate venee...

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Has anyone heard a good woodworking joke lately [in memory of the walnut dealer]

02-13-2011 08:32 AM by Dave | 17 comments »

Did you here about the guy at the sawmill who had the whole left side of his body cut off? Don’t worry, he’s all right. Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish Not a joke you tell, but rather, one you play. You look wistfully into the blue sky and say “hey! dad will be on the plane by now” Your companion will invariably ask “where’s he going?” You respond ...

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