Woodworking blog entries tagged with 'humor'

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #19: Safety week? We don't need no stinking safety week! (Stumpy's Safety Poster)

05-02-2012 12:36 PM by StumpyNubs | 34 comments »

It’s woodworking safety week. I know, I’ve been planning for months. This morning I finished decorating the safety tree, I hung the red halogen safety lights all over the outside of the shop. My wife is wearing her safety dress and I am drinking decaffeinated coffee this morning, because someone said it was safer. These days there’s a “week” for everything. We just wrapped up “earth week”, already the third or fourth one this year it seems, which u...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #18: The WoodWright's Shop & The Highland Woodworker... I dunno about this...

04-29-2012 11:57 PM by StumpyNubs | 44 comments »

As an owner of three strands of Roy Underhill’s mustache hair, which I bought off eBay and keep in a frame above my bed, you can imagine how excited I was to hear that Popular Woodworking has signed a deal to offer the original early years of The Woodwright’s Shop on DVD. Actually, more than just excited, I peed myself a little. I love his show. To me it takes everything great about woodworking, and all that is good and pure about television, and wraps it up into one saw-dusty pac...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #17: Some people just ain't too sharp!

03-30-2012 01:26 PM by StumpyNubs | 11 comments »

There are a few golden rules in woodworking: You can never measure it too many times. You can never have too many clamps. Never spill your beer on the table saw. And it’s never, ever… sharp enough. If you only use power tools, you’re missing out, buddy! For the love of everything holy, go buy at least one hand plane! I guarantee, when you use it for that first project, you will be hooked forever! There is nothing in this world, I kid you not, like the feel of razor sharp ...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #16: Don't lie... YOU HAVE TOO MUCH WOOD!

03-27-2012 01:01 PM by StumpyNubs | 21 comments »

Ask any woodworker if they have too much wood, and they will give a resounding NO! You can never have too much wood! But they would be lying… Take a look around your workshop. Go ahead, I’ll wait while you’re gone. I need to go get another cup of coffee anyway… Back already? I bet you didn’t even go check because you know I am telling the truth. Your shop is just like mine. It has more wood in it than a bonfire at Woodstock. The problem is, it’s mostl...

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Random Thoughts and Ideas #2: Crazy Things Stumpy Nubs Makes ME Think Of...Strange Woodworking Terms

03-21-2012 12:47 PM by DamnYankee | 31 comments »

Stumpy Nubs recently posted a blog about some woodworkers on another site being all stiff and not having a sense of humor. One of the responders (SisQMArk) to this blog stated you had to have a sense of humor because of some of the terms we use. This got me thinking of other terms, or phrases, that we as woodworkers use that others unfamiliar with them woudl likely shake their heads in confusion or thinking “did he really just say what I think he said?” So here is a short list...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #13: Is it ok to laugh at wood? It is unless you live on a creek...

03-20-2012 02:58 PM by StumpyNubs | 21 comments »

Have you ever wandered into the wrong place at the wrong time? Like that time you walked in on your best friend practicing kissing moves on his reflection in the mirror. All you could do was stand there with your mouth open like a bass wishing you were somewhere else. But you couldn’t just walk out… it was too late! You can never unsee those things, and they tend to stick with you. Several months ago I wandered into a popular woodworking forum on the internet which shall remain...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #12: What in the world IS THAT SMELL??????????????

03-17-2012 02:07 PM by StumpyNubs | 30 comments »

I walked through the door and it hit me like a punch in the face from that girl I used to pick on in grade school. It was a pungent odor, something reminiscent of verbena with a touch of death and decay. All around me I saw people holding their noses, one or two old ladies sat wheezing on the floor. I made my way over to a boy who was vomiting in a bucket, just to inhale the air around him for relief. From there I noticed a curious thing. The cashiers seemed totally unaffected by the noxious ...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #5: I'm not the only moron around here... Introducing Joy, Kyle and Randy...

03-06-2012 01:43 PM by StumpyNubs | 26 comments »

A lot of people ask me who works in the Stumpy Nubs Workshop. They see me talking to someone off camera on one of the shows, or they notice I say “we, here at the Stumpy Nubs Workshop” a lot, yet I’m the only one they ever see on camera. So, here’s the lowdown on that: It’s much like the situation that Sam Maloof enjoyed, only without the skill and artistic genius. He hired a young man to help him around the shop. Soon he had far more people who wanted to be his “shop boy” than he had spac...

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Dungeon to Lair: That's the plan at least... #4: An addition to the family: AKA Tool Gloat

02-08-2012 08:24 AM by DIYaholic | 1 comment »

No real progress to speak of. Instead of eliminating clutter, I added to it! I was checking CL the other day and spotted an add for a $265.00 HD Gift Card for $140.00!!! Yup, $125.00 of FREE money. I combined the (free) $125.00 with $80.00 of real money of my own and purchased…........... I’ve been eyeing this sander for a couple of weeks. JACKPOT!!! And Damn, It looks great next to it’s BIG brother! Now that I have a “workable” shop, it’s time...

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whipped up

02-07-2012 05:13 AM by Danpaddles | 4 comments »

I did not write this. Actually, I suspect it was written by a Brit, the spellings indicated that before I cleaned this up. But the shows he references are domestic. I grabbed it from somewhere many years ago. It has survived a hard drive crash (you can see what things I actually had backed up-) and two computer migrations, from Win97 to XP to 7. If it is inappropriate or placed incorrectly, someone say so, and I will pull it. I am still a newbie here. Don’t mean to throw my wei...

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