LumberJocks

Woodworking blog entries tagged with 'humor'

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #22: Did you hear Stumpy was in the Witness Protection Program?

07-12-2012 07:03 PM by StumpyNubs | 23 comments »

Did you ever notice that one of your armpits smells a lot worse than the other? That little bit of info will clue you on two things. First, you’re a disgusting pig who likes to sniff his sweaty armpits. And second, that the long, hot days of summer are here. Actually, they’ve been here for a while now. And woodworkers the world over are grabbing a cold one and fireing up the computer machine for some Blue Collar Woodworking goodness. Problem is, there’s been no new episode for a couple weeks....

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The Stumpy Nubs Workshop #23: Woodworking Jig AWARDS! BOW TIES! SPECIAL GUEST! Ohhhhhh ya baby!

06-19-2012 01:41 PM by StumpyNubs | 24 comments »

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Stumpy takes off his blue denim shirt and slips into a tuxedo for the biggest night of the Summer! The second, semi-annual “Stumpies” is the world’s first low budget, mostly random and poory produced awards show just for woodworkers, and this time we’re giving out prizes for the best woodworking jigs. Who will win? Who will walk away with a free subscripton to Shop Notes? Which of Stumpy’s dumb jokes will...

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The Stumpy Nubs Workshop #22: A Drill Press Table that will make your shop weep with joy!

06-09-2012 02:41 PM by StumpyNubs | 32 comments »

Once in a lifetime we achieve a level of perfection so high we wonder if our very lives will ever be the same! That is what I imagine all of you will think the moment you see the new drill press table. Or, at the very least, you’ll have a good time laughing at me. This episode of Blue Collar Woodworking is all about the new drill press table, complete with downdraft dust collection, drawers for storage, and a micro-adjustable, X-Y sliding table. After that we show ou how to ma...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #21: "The reason for the season"- It's almost time for the Stumpies!

06-01-2012 03:33 PM by StumpyNubs | 11 comments »

All of us find ourselves in sticky situations once in a while. I remember the time I was hunched over that mysterious package somebody had left in a busy children’s store. I heard a child say “Mommy, why’s that box ticking…” I sprung into action, sweeping the little girl out of harm’s way. “Stand back everybody, I know what to do” As I rolled up my sleeves and the young mothers began to faint, I was finally able to get a good look at the danger ...

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The Stumpy Nubs Workshop #21: I got a new jig in a card game!

05-14-2012 01:12 AM by StumpyNubs | 33 comments »

Sharpening card scrapers was never so easy, or so much fun… This week is all about card scrapers: how to sharpen them, how to use them, we make a rack to store them and a jig to burnish them. Along the way we do some fooling around and talk about Roy Underhill’s mustache! There are two projects in this episode, a tool review and a detailed demonstration of cabinet scraping goodness. Check out more episodes at Stumpynubs.com. Enjoy!

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #19: Safety week? We don't need no stinking safety week! (Stumpy's Safety Poster)

05-02-2012 12:36 PM by StumpyNubs | 34 comments »

It’s woodworking safety week. I know, I’ve been planning for months. This morning I finished decorating the safety tree, I hung the red halogen safety lights all over the outside of the shop. My wife is wearing her safety dress and I am drinking decaffeinated coffee this morning, because someone said it was safer. These days there’s a “week” for everything. We just wrapped up “earth week”, already the third or fourth one this year it seems, which u...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #18: The WoodWright's Shop & The Highland Woodworker... I dunno about this...

04-29-2012 11:57 PM by StumpyNubs | 44 comments »

As an owner of three strands of Roy Underhill’s mustache hair, which I bought off eBay and keep in a frame above my bed, you can imagine how excited I was to hear that Popular Woodworking has signed a deal to offer the original early years of The Woodwright’s Shop on DVD. Actually, more than just excited, I peed myself a little. I love his show. To me it takes everything great about woodworking, and all that is good and pure about television, and wraps it up into one saw-dusty pac...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #17: Some people just ain't too sharp!

03-30-2012 01:26 PM by StumpyNubs | 11 comments »

There are a few golden rules in woodworking: You can never measure it too many times. You can never have too many clamps. Never spill your beer on the table saw. And it’s never, ever… sharp enough. If you only use power tools, you’re missing out, buddy! For the love of everything holy, go buy at least one hand plane! I guarantee, when you use it for that first project, you will be hooked forever! There is nothing in this world, I kid you not, like the feel of razor sharp ...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #16: Don't lie... YOU HAVE TOO MUCH WOOD!

03-27-2012 01:01 PM by StumpyNubs | 21 comments »

Ask any woodworker if they have too much wood, and they will give a resounding NO! You can never have too much wood! But they would be lying… Take a look around your workshop. Go ahead, I’ll wait while you’re gone. I need to go get another cup of coffee anyway… Back already? I bet you didn’t even go check because you know I am telling the truth. Your shop is just like mine. It has more wood in it than a bonfire at Woodstock. The problem is, it’s mostl...

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Random Thoughts and Ideas #2: Crazy Things Stumpy Nubs Makes ME Think Of...Strange Woodworking Terms

03-21-2012 12:47 PM by DamnYankee | 31 comments »

Stumpy Nubs recently posted a blog about some woodworkers on another site being all stiff and not having a sense of humor. One of the responders (SisQMArk) to this blog stated you had to have a sense of humor because of some of the terms we use. This got me thinking of other terms, or phrases, that we as woodworkers use that others unfamiliar with them woudl likely shake their heads in confusion or thinking “did he really just say what I think he said?” So here is a short list...

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