LumberJocks

Woodworking blog entries tagged with 'humor'

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Around The Coffeepot Ramblings #48: Seriously Scientific Stuff

11-29-2012 02:13 AM by William | 10 comments »

I’ve been working on a table. Everything is done except for the clear finish. I’m using Minwax gloss polyurethane. During the summer months, I would apply a coat, roll it on a rollaround table thingy I have into the front room, and spend my time working on something else while that coat dries. Well, it is not the summer months, and I can’t do that. No, instead, I have to keep the drying project on my main work table and keep a fire going to keep it warm enough for the finish...

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The Stumpy Nubs Workshop #30: I nearly lost my lips kissing my TWO beautiful new router tables!

11-28-2012 05:39 PM by StumpyNubs | 9 comments »

This is a router table/lift/fence combo that will terrify the the guys at Festool and Incra. As Stumpy completes the three episode router table series he unveils the completed setup- two router tables complete with micro-adjustable lifts, built in bit storage, dual dust collection, a fantastic sliding table and a fence that uses Incra’s innovative positioner technology without violating any patents! In the meantime you’ll see how to get a high quality router plate for about $10...

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Around The Coffeepot Ramblings #47: Some Things Just Aint Right

11-27-2012 12:19 AM by William | 20 comments »

Some of you who read my ramblings know that I have been setting up my second shop build bandsaw to make curved cuts, giving me one for curves and one for resawing.The only thing I have been lacking is a blade. I have an extra resaw blade, but since noone locally carries a 105” blade, I had to order one for curved cuts because, as I found out, a resaw blade does not do this very well.So I ordered a quarter inch wide blade. After reading reviews, here and elsewhere, I settled on getting t...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #28: How I survived Black Friday at Woodcraft: Stumpy vs. the Zombies...

11-25-2012 03:45 PM by StumpyNubs | 15 comments »

The biggest holiday of the year has just past. Bigger than Christmas, bigger than Rosh Hashanah, even bigger than Washington’s Birthday. It’s called Black Friday and for good reason. It’s the day the shopping gods are appeased by the sacrifice of virgin greenbacks. When America’s trailer parks empty and the Walmarts fill with herds of greedy consumers looking for a deal on something, anything that will satisfy their lust for stuff. I’ve seen a dozen overweight women brawl like ultimate ...

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View MrMeasureTwice's profile

The Unisaw Experience #4: The Woodworking "devil" made me do it...

08-10-2012 03:20 AM by MrMeasureTwice | 3 comments »

Dear almighty woodworking god – please help me with my addiction. I now know that I have a serious problem and I am not sure how to conquer it. AWWG (almighty wood working god), here’s is my problem… I am addicted…... addicted to….... choke – gulp! TABLE SAWS!!!! It’s true AWWG, and it is a SERIOUS problem. I see one on “the devil’s web site”, Craig’s List and I am unable to contain myself. I immediately email or ca...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #25: Be a mentor! Teach some kid about woodworking... and how to spit.

08-07-2012 11:26 PM by StumpyNubs | 16 comments »

I’ve been married for almost 16 years, an unbelievable accomplishment for a guy who picks his nose in public. I remember when I first announced I was getting married. Some said “To a girl?” others said “How old are you?” I was 18 years old, old enough to legally tie the not, but too young to toast with anything stronger than Mountain Dew at the reception. She was 19 and I was a lucky man. And I am still a lucky man, because I got in on the ground floor of marr...

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The Unisaw Experience #3: Blades of Glory!!

08-02-2012 05:23 AM by MrMeasureTwice | 6 comments »

Hi fellow sawdust creators,In the pause during this week before I actually touch my Unisaw again on Saturday, I thought I would share my new blades that will soon be doing 10’s of thousands of revolutions and ripping, crosscutting and mitering their way to oblivion… Introducing the four new additions to the “blade brigade”........ May I present “Lord Combination”, offering a variety of talents to his royal highness, ME Please welcome “The Duk...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #24: I think Lynyrd Skynyrd put it best...

08-01-2012 07:38 PM by StumpyNubs | 13 comments »

The other day I was driving down the road and a bird shot in front of me and tried to outrun my truck. It was a majestic sight, the large wingspan, the sleek feathers capturing the air creating just the right amount of lift to keep it airborne, while maintaining just enough speed to keep ahead of me. On the radio Skynyrd belted out the chorus of Freebird and for a moment I thought I could fly free myself. (“I’m as free as a bird now… And this bird you can not change…&#...

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View DamnYankee's profile

Random Thoughts and Ideas #3: Woodworkers Olympics

07-30-2012 08:22 AM by DamnYankee | 16 comments »

With the 2012 Olympics in full swing the thought of a “Woodworkers Olympics” came to mind and from that thoughts on what the events might be. Below is my list, you are welcome (encouraged even) to add your own. Some maybe serious, some silly. -synchronized bandsaw box making (reindeer during the winter olympics)-table saw kickback “shooting” (you stand to one side and try and hit an archery type target at various ranges)-speed dust collection (see who can sweep/vacuum up a ...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #23: The voices in my head have been getting louder... but they have some good ideas...

07-19-2012 02:37 PM by StumpyNubs | 30 comments »

Remember when we were happy little school-boys spending the long summers playing with our tea sets and brushing our dolls’ hair? Those days were the best! I remember one year, I think it was right after fifth grade. That summer was a hot one, much like this year has been. To keep cool we ran through the cornfield every morning in our underwear with buckets over our heads, the moist dewy stalks smacking against our homemade “helmets” until we were dizzy. Grandma was always the fastest runner. ...

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