LumberJocks

Woodworking blog entries tagged with 'humor'

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #24: I think Lynyrd Skynyrd put it best...

728 days ago by StumpyNubs | 13 comments »

The other day I was driving down the road and a bird shot in front of me and tried to outrun my truck. It was a majestic sight, the large wingspan, the sleek feathers capturing the air creating just the right amount of lift to keep it airborne, while maintaining just enough speed to keep ahead of me. On the radio Skynyrd belted out the chorus of Freebird and for a moment I thought I could fly free myself. (“I’m as free as a bird now… And this bird you can not change…&#...

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Random Thoughts and Ideas #3: Woodworkers Olympics

731 days ago by DamnYankee | 16 comments »

With the 2012 Olympics in full swing the thought of a “Woodworkers Olympics” came to mind and from that thoughts on what the events might be. Below is my list, you are welcome (encouraged even) to add your own. Some maybe serious, some silly. -synchronized bandsaw box making (reindeer during the winter olympics)-table saw kickback “shooting” (you stand to one side and try and hit an archery type target at various ranges)-speed dust collection (see who can sweep/vacuum up a ...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #23: The voices in my head have been getting louder... but they have some good ideas...

741 days ago by StumpyNubs | 30 comments »

Remember when we were happy little school-boys spending the long summers playing with our tea sets and brushing our dolls’ hair? Those days were the best! I remember one year, I think it was right after fifth grade. That summer was a hot one, much like this year has been. To keep cool we ran through the cornfield every morning in our underwear with buckets over our heads, the moist dewy stalks smacking against our homemade “helmets” until we were dizzy. Grandma was always the fastest runner. ...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #22: Did you hear Stumpy was in the Witness Protection Program?

748 days ago by StumpyNubs | 23 comments »

Did you ever notice that one of your armpits smells a lot worse than the other? That little bit of info will clue you on two things. First, you’re a disgusting pig who likes to sniff his sweaty armpits. And second, that the long, hot days of summer are here. Actually, they’ve been here for a while now. And woodworkers the world over are grabbing a cold one and fireing up the computer machine for some Blue Collar Woodworking goodness. Problem is, there’s been no new episode for a couple weeks....

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The Stumpy Nubs Workshop #23: Woodworking Jig AWARDS! BOW TIES! SPECIAL GUEST! Ohhhhhh ya baby!

771 days ago by StumpyNubs | 24 comments »

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Stumpy takes off his blue denim shirt and slips into a tuxedo for the biggest night of the Summer! The second, semi-annual “Stumpies” is the world’s first low budget, mostly random and poory produced awards show just for woodworkers, and this time we’re giving out prizes for the best woodworking jigs. Who will win? Who will walk away with a free subscripton to Shop Notes? Which of Stumpy’s dumb jokes will...

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The Stumpy Nubs Workshop #22: A Drill Press Table that will make your shop weep with joy!

781 days ago by StumpyNubs | 32 comments »

Once in a lifetime we achieve a level of perfection so high we wonder if our very lives will ever be the same! That is what I imagine all of you will think the moment you see the new drill press table. Or, at the very least, you’ll have a good time laughing at me. This episode of Blue Collar Woodworking is all about the new drill press table, complete with downdraft dust collection, drawers for storage, and a micro-adjustable, X-Y sliding table. After that we show ou how to ma...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #21: "The reason for the season"- It's almost time for the Stumpies!

789 days ago by StumpyNubs | 11 comments »

All of us find ourselves in sticky situations once in a while. I remember the time I was hunched over that mysterious package somebody had left in a busy children’s store. I heard a child say “Mommy, why’s that box ticking…” I sprung into action, sweeping the little girl out of harm’s way. “Stand back everybody, I know what to do” As I rolled up my sleeves and the young mothers began to faint, I was finally able to get a good look at the danger ...

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The Stumpy Nubs Workshop #21: I got a new jig in a card game!

808 days ago by StumpyNubs | 33 comments »

Sharpening card scrapers was never so easy, or so much fun… This week is all about card scrapers: how to sharpen them, how to use them, we make a rack to store them and a jig to burnish them. Along the way we do some fooling around and talk about Roy Underhill’s mustache! There are two projects in this episode, a tool review and a detailed demonstration of cabinet scraping goodness. Check out more episodes at Stumpynubs.com. Enjoy!

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #19: Safety week? We don't need no stinking safety week! (Stumpy's Safety Poster)

819 days ago by StumpyNubs | 34 comments »

It’s woodworking safety week. I know, I’ve been planning for months. This morning I finished decorating the safety tree, I hung the red halogen safety lights all over the outside of the shop. My wife is wearing her safety dress and I am drinking decaffeinated coffee this morning, because someone said it was safer. These days there’s a “week” for everything. We just wrapped up “earth week”, already the third or fourth one this year it seems, which u...

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Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #18: The WoodWright's Shop & The Highland Woodworker... I dunno about this...

822 days ago by StumpyNubs | 44 comments »

As an owner of three strands of Roy Underhill’s mustache hair, which I bought off eBay and keep in a frame above my bed, you can imagine how excited I was to hear that Popular Woodworking has signed a deal to offer the original early years of The Woodwright’s Shop on DVD. Actually, more than just excited, I peed myself a little. I love his show. To me it takes everything great about woodworking, and all that is good and pure about television, and wraps it up into one saw-dusty pac...

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