You might be a wood worker (chip-monk) if:

Your spouse looks at your workshop and wonders why you have 4 drills and 3 sanders.

-- Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didin't do then by the ones you did. - Mark Twain

I have heard something very close…
“Why do you need another one? You can only use one at a time.”

-- 'I sand, therefore, I am'. Richard/Wiggy.. whatever. North Texas

You think you tube has great mostly woodworking videos and a few funny ones.

You might want to check these out for some good ones too.

http://lumberjocks.com/topics/8

http://lumberjocks.com/topics/10682

-- Karen - a little bit of stupid goes a long way

Ok.. ok… I give. Should have known that you pack of yahoos would have already taken care of this!
I checked the two leads you posted… I think I wet my pants… People keep peeking into my office with a perplexed, “Are you ok?” look on their faces.
Damn… a great laugh on a Monday afternoon.. Excellent.

-- 'I sand, therefore, I am'. Richard/Wiggy.. whatever. North Texas

Very funny topic, suprised I haven’t seen this circling the web myself.

When someone mentions “he’s carrying his man magazines to the bathroom again”, they’re talking about Shop Notes, not Playboy.

-- http://wddsrfinewoodworks.blogspot.com/

What! What? What?!?

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the world's finest custom rolling pins!

You have glue or hardwood stain all over your fingers when you go to that nice restaurant. What a great look that is

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

allot of the “you might be a _ if” gather only a pity chuckle, these are poster worthy!

You might be a wood-worker if :-
you can remember the exact time and day you bought your first lathe/bandsaw/planer etc but you haven’t
a clue when your kids birthdays are.
you go to a market and you find yourself in a group of intent, shifty-eyed maniac types, rummaging silently
through junked-out hand tools…..and you don’t really stand out .
you would happily trample across scantily clad hotties in order to get your hands on the last free chisel
or clamp available with your cut-out coupon for the local hardware.

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

You might be a wood-worker if:

You can’t throw away a coffee can….or a spare screw to put in the can.

You look at a log or a wood shipping crate and wonder what you can make out of it.

You look up at the ceiling beams and trim work at church or a restaurant.

Your wife separates the wash in to 3 piles….whites, colors, his dusty work clothes.

Your wife knows at least 6 wood species and knows what quater sawn means.

You love LJ as much as I do!

-- mark

Ran into this one today
The barber gets frustrated because you wont stop staring down at that one piece of “curly” flooring.

Your local Quicky Mart carries Band-aids, eye-wash and leather gloves because you’ve asked so many times. You’re spouse and children know that easy Christmas and birthday presents are renewals to favorite magazines. You’re wife reminds you the week before important social events to not sharpen, chisel, plane, or knife blades so your arm hair stays intact and you don’t look like you have the mange. You’re wife has experience closing open wounds with super glue Thats my contribution Ford Mike

Thanks Mike… I love this site and the knuckle-headed that populate it!

-- 'I sand, therefore, I am'. Richard/Wiggy.. whatever. North Texas