Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #31: One man's junk mail is another man's bathroom reading material!

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Blog entry by StumpyNubs posted 12-22-2012 04:55 PM 5875 reads 0 times favorited 10 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 30: A message from Stumpy Nubs for survivors of today's Mayan Apocalypse... Part 31 of Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About series Part 32: Powermatic Snubs Stumpy Nubs... (I love titles that rhyme!) »

There’s nobody on this earth I like enough to buy a $2000 tool for as a gift, I don’t care what the ads in my mailbox say! This week’s video blog is all about the reason for the season… JUNK MAIL! And there’s some great old woodworking photos to look at while you listen to my sweet, soothing voice!

After you watch this one, visit for more woodworking goodness!

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If you’re a smarty pants and prefer to read, here’s the text version:

I love this time of year. The snowy streets, the sparkling lights on the rooflines of every building, the gaudy inflatable snowman villages on my neighbor’s front lawn. If you asked me what I liked most about the month of December I would answer, without hesitation, that it’s easier to clean up after the shop dog now that his poo is frozen. But a close second is the junk mail.

Now, we live in an electronic world. No longer are our mailboxes the only receptacle for flyers and catalogues and coupons and crap. We get loads of virtual mail to sift through as well, and these are often the most fun. On a good day I can get half a billion emails advertising everything from pills to make me skinnier to food to make me fatter. If I ever need testosterone boost to help sprout more chest hair, or a twelve bladed razor to shave that mess off, there’s an email for that.

But the best ads by far come from the woodworking suppliers. Woodcraft, Lee Valley, Whiteside, Highland Woodworking, everybody has a “Black Friday” or “Cyber Monday” or “Overspend Tuesday” or “We Just Made This One Up For The Heck Of It Wednesday”. I suppose they weren’t satisfied with the buying everyone does for Christmas so they had to make up a bunch of new shopping holidays too. Soon Roy Underhill’s birthday will be a national holiday and everyone will have buy suspenders and mustache trimmers as gifts.

Of course, it’s not all bad. There are some good deals to be found if you have a few hours to sift through the garbage. Just yesterday I found a free half sandwich my neighbor didn’t finish. But more on topic, I feel like some people are getting a little too carried away with the gift giving. Case in point: Today I got an email from a tool company telling me about their one day deal for the woodworker in my life. Touted to be the perfect gift, it cost a mere $2500… on sale. Now, I’m no cheapskate. I spend freely on foam brushes and dollar store sandpaper. But to me, $2500 is a big investment. A huge investment, especially for a tool. So if I’m going to shred that kind of lettuce I don’t think I’d be giving it away. There is nobody on this earth that I like enough to buy them a $2500 tool. I didn’t spend near that much on a health plan for the workshop, and have you seen the prices of tourniquets and sewing needles? Do people really spend that much money on someone else?

I’ve given a few gifts in my day. A month ago I gave Randy the shop boy an Arby’s coupon that expired two month ago. Chip got a free smack in the head just yesterday. I even bought Joy a foot bath so she can soak those big kankles of hers while she does the paperwork. I gave all these great gifts freely, not because of some new holiday that Hallmark made up just to sell more cards. (Secretaries day… seriously?) Nor was a single gift inspired by an email, except for chip’s smack in the head, which resulted from an email he sent me asking for time off.

The point is this… As much as I enjoy sitting on the toilet and reading the woodworking ads, I am seldom going to spend enough money on things in those ads to justify the enormous expense of producing all those ads. I’ll buy the $2 glue brush and the 70% off honing film if I need some of it. But the big stuff you’re trying to get me to spend on just so I can give it to someone that won’t really appreciate it as much as I appreciated all that money I laid it down to buy it… not going to happen. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there’s more happiness in giving than in receiving. So if receiving my gifts isn’t what makes people happy, why should I waste the money?

-- Subscribe to "Stumpy Nubs Woodworking Journal"- One of the crafts' most unique publications:

10 comments so far

View DocSavage45's profile


8588 posts in 2865 days

#1 posted 12-22-2012 05:32 PM

Nice shop pics! Wanted to comment but didn’t on dust colllection. Probably won’t get cancer but lung disease? Big issue with OSHA. We need clean air, or filtered.

The more sanding, the more dust? Had this discussion with Charles some years ago. I suggested he talk about shop saftey in the area of dust collection. he put it back on me. LOL! I did find out it is the biggest health issue for woodworkers. Your dust collection, and concern for fine dust, videos should help?

I purchased an air filtration system from Grizzly at a fairly reasonable price for us po folk. LOL!

Have a great Christmas. Aren’t you at the top of your gift list???

Tom/aka Docsavage45

-- Cau Haus Designs, Thomas J. Tieffenbacher

View rookie54's profile


45 posts in 3080 days

#2 posted 12-22-2012 05:35 PM

uh, stumpy???

may i have my four minutes and ten seconds back, please???
i gave it in the spirit of the season and all, but, i’m feeling really grinchy today, and i want it back…


-- rookie ...we'll see what happens...

View DIYaholic's profile


19623 posts in 2697 days

#3 posted 12-22-2012 05:41 PM

I’m not giving any of my family, friends or acquaintances Christmas gifts this year! With so many potential gifts, it stretches my wallet waaaay tooo thin. I would rather NOT give a small token gift, of a shoody, non-wanted or underapprieciated variety. Instead, I’m taking what limited funds I have and filling the local “Toys for Kids” barrel!!! Now I know that at least, my gift will be cherished and truelly apprieciated!!!

Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Holiday Season, “End-of -the-World” or whatever you choose to celabrate!!!!

May the New Year bring you peace, happiness and an endless amount of shop time!!!

-- Randy-- I may not be good...but I am slow! If good things come to those who wait.... Why is procrastination a bad thing?

View StumpyNubs's profile


7598 posts in 2823 days

#4 posted 12-22-2012 05:48 PM

I assume you believe your time is very precious, so I am honored that you would spend some more of it telling me you want it back! Tell you what, I talked to my manager and he usually doesn’t do this, but you can have a full refund of every cent you paid for the blog, including shipping, or you can have the next blog free. Your choice, rookie…

-- Subscribe to "Stumpy Nubs Woodworking Journal"- One of the crafts' most unique publications:

View bandit571's profile


20210 posts in 2706 days

#5 posted 12-22-2012 05:55 PM

Simple gifts: Give each an envelope with a bit of cash in it. Drive them down to the local stores, and drop them off. Let them buy whatever the cash will buy. Pick up the crowd when they are done. IF they are not happy with what the bought, it is their fault.


-- A Planer? I'M the planer, this is what I use

View StumpyNubs's profile


7598 posts in 2823 days

#6 posted 12-22-2012 06:07 PM

That’s a great idea, bandit! You could, and I know this is a bit off the wall so bear with me, put the money on some sort of plastic card or something and wrap up the card itself instead of the cash. You could even put it in a little paper box with a store’s name one it so they knew where to take the card. I think we could call it something like… present cards… no, not “present”.... give me time, a good name will come to me…

-- Subscribe to "Stumpy Nubs Woodworking Journal"- One of the crafts' most unique publications:

View Bob Kollman's profile

Bob Kollman

1798 posts in 3213 days

#7 posted 12-22-2012 08:22 PM

Stumpy, I assure you that if you send me a $2500.00 tool I will enjoy receiving more than you did giving:)
Receiving your gifts is what will make me H A P P Y!!!!!

-- Bob Kenosha Wi.

View Mip's profile


453 posts in 2100 days

#8 posted 12-22-2012 11:30 PM

I’m one of those smarty pants who read the article instead of watching it. Then I realized from some of the comments that there were pictures of shops in the video! So I watched the video, with the cool shop pics, in which you repeated everything I just read. Talk about being more efficient with my time! At least I didn’t pay $2500 to do both! By the way, what tool were they advertizing for that kind of scratch?

View Roger's profile


20928 posts in 2826 days

#9 posted 12-22-2012 11:41 PM

I’m good to give 25 bux away at Christmas… Nice collection of shops goin on there

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed.

View EEngineer's profile


1103 posts in 3636 days

#10 posted 12-23-2012 04:00 AM

I did like the old shop pics.

“Hears” the best way to watch this… turn the sound off and enjoy the shop pics!

-- "Find out what you cannot do and then go do it!"

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