All of us find ourselves in sticky situations once in a while. I remember the time I was hunched over that mysterious package somebody had left in a busy children’s store. I heard a child say “Mommy, why’s that box ticking…” I sprung into action, sweeping the little girl out of harm’s way. “Stand back everybody, I know what to do” As I rolled up my sleeves and the young mothers began to faint, I was finally able to get a good look at the danger before me. It was a bundle of dynamite with a two wires attached to a clock that told me I had just seconds to act. I withdrew a wood chisel from my back pocket, I never leave home without one. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead, wiped away by the silk handkerchief of a lovely, frightened blonde. The wires mocked me, one promised to defuse the bomb, the other certain death if severed. But which was which? Red or blue? Tension filled the room, children hiding behind mothers’ skirts, weeping women gasping as each second ticked away. Red or blue? Blue or red? My mind raced, I couldn’t recall which one I’d cut when I’d saved that puppy farm the year before. No time to think, I had to make a decision. Red, no… blue. I placed the chisel’s edge against the wire, freshly honed on my Worksharp 3000. Four… three… NO! Red!... two… BLUE… one…
Believe me, I know how stressful it can be when we’re up against a deadline! It’s much like the situation we all face now. Entries for the Stumpy Nubs Jig Contest must be in by midnight tonight, and the clock is quickly ticking off the last few precious seconds. If you haven’t gotten your entry emailed to me (firstname.lastname@example.org) then why are you reading a blog? You have work to do!
For those who already got their entries in, let me take a moment to reflect on the “reason for the season”. Sometimes we all get caught up in the celebration that accompanies a Stumpy Nubs contest. The decorations, the music, the artificial trees we all put up in our homes and decorate with little “Stumpy” ornaments. But it’s not about the frills. It’s not about the prizes, it’s not even about the glory that comes with winning. It’s about friends. It’s about families gathering together for a meal before you watch the Blue Collar Woodworking awards show. Remember last time when grandma spilled the cranberry sauce on uncle Jack’s toupee right when the first runner up was announced? Remember how your cousin Linda had a few too many glasses of the traditional cold chicken broth and threw up on the computer, and how angry every one was to have to go home and watch the rest of the show the next morning? These are the times we cherish, the memories we create with every Stumpy Nubs contest. Keep them close to your heart. Take full advantage of these moments while you still have them, and never forget the true “reason for the season”!
While you’re waiting for your “Stumpies” party guests to arrive, why not catch up on a few episodes of Blue Collar Woodworking? I hear it’s the best woodworking show since the invention of wood!
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