Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About #21: "The reason for the season"- It's almost time for the Stumpies!

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Blog entry by StumpyNubs posted 06-01-2012 03:33 PM 2255 reads 0 times favorited 11 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 20: I drive a station wagon but Fine Woodworking says I need a "Vette"! Part 21 of Crazy Stuff Stumpy Thinks About series Part 22: Did you hear Stumpy was in the Witness Protection Program? »

All of us find ourselves in sticky situations once in a while. I remember the time I was hunched over that mysterious package somebody had left in a busy children’s store. I heard a child say “Mommy, why’s that box ticking…” I sprung into action, sweeping the little girl out of harm’s way. “Stand back everybody, I know what to do” As I rolled up my sleeves and the young mothers began to faint, I was finally able to get a good look at the danger before me. It was a bundle of dynamite with a two wires attached to a clock that told me I had just seconds to act. I withdrew a wood chisel from my back pocket, I never leave home without one. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead, wiped away by the silk handkerchief of a lovely, frightened blonde. The wires mocked me, one promised to defuse the bomb, the other certain death if severed. But which was which? Red or blue? Tension filled the room, children hiding behind mothers’ skirts, weeping women gasping as each second ticked away. Red or blue? Blue or red? My mind raced, I couldn’t recall which one I’d cut when I’d saved that puppy farm the year before. No time to think, I had to make a decision. Red, no… blue. I placed the chisel’s edge against the wire, freshly honed on my Worksharp 3000. Four… three… NO! Red!... two… BLUE… one…

Believe me, I know how stressful it can be when we’re up against a deadline! It’s much like the situation we all face now. Entries for the Stumpy Nubs Jig Contest must be in by midnight tonight, and the clock is quickly ticking off the last few precious seconds. If you haven’t gotten your entry emailed to me ( then why are you reading a blog? You have work to do!

For those who already got their entries in, let me take a moment to reflect on the “reason for the season”. Sometimes we all get caught up in the celebration that accompanies a Stumpy Nubs contest. The decorations, the music, the artificial trees we all put up in our homes and decorate with little “Stumpy” ornaments. But it’s not about the frills. It’s not about the prizes, it’s not even about the glory that comes with winning. It’s about friends. It’s about families gathering together for a meal before you watch the Blue Collar Woodworking awards show. Remember last time when grandma spilled the cranberry sauce on uncle Jack’s toupee right when the first runner up was announced? Remember how your cousin Linda had a few too many glasses of the traditional cold chicken broth and threw up on the computer, and how angry every one was to have to go home and watch the rest of the show the next morning? These are the times we cherish, the memories we create with every Stumpy Nubs contest. Keep them close to your heart. Take full advantage of these moments while you still have them, and never forget the true “reason for the season”!

While you’re waiting for your “Stumpies” party guests to arrive, why not catch up on a few episodes of Blue Collar Woodworking? I hear it’s the best woodworking show since the invention of wood!

-- Subscribe to "Stumpy Nubs Woodworking Journal"- One of the crafts' most unique publications:

11 comments so far

View eddie's profile


8565 posts in 2608 days

#1 posted 06-01-2012 03:44 PM

stumpy you have a strange imagination ,but we still love ya

-- Jesus Is Alright with me

View mpounders's profile


875 posts in 2890 days

#2 posted 06-01-2012 06:12 PM

Hmmmmm, little “Stumpy” ornaments for the tree… may have just thought of another item for your online store!

-- Mike P., Arkansas,

View DS's profile


2916 posts in 2415 days

#3 posted 06-01-2012 06:15 PM

Amen to that eddie.

Looking forward to the Stumpies… got the nachos and soft drinks ready.


I’m not a beer drinker, but, it is still “a cold one”—soft drink that is.
Cold nachos are no fun at all.

-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 3429 days

#4 posted 06-01-2012 06:31 PM


-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View DS's profile


2916 posts in 2415 days

#5 posted 06-01-2012 06:32 PM

spam? Rex?

-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251

View DIYaholic's profile


19618 posts in 2669 days

#6 posted 06-02-2012 01:50 AM

I like SPAM!!! Sliced thin, fried, a litttle mustard on rye with a tall glass of ginger ale. Oh, wait. It’s the Rye that I like, served over ice with ginger ale!!!

-- Randy-- I may not be good...but I am slow! If good things come to those who wait.... Why is procrastination a bad thing?

View Dave's profile


11429 posts in 2834 days

#7 posted 06-02-2012 02:57 AM

Stumpy there are scary things going on in you head. But thats why we love you.
I have my popcorn and soda pop ready.
In two hours the ball is in your court.
You know in WWII they had spam cookbooks.

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are."

View Roger's profile


20928 posts in 2798 days

#8 posted 06-02-2012 12:48 PM

You’ve got me on the edge o my seat Stumps

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed.

View eddie's profile


8565 posts in 2608 days

#9 posted 06-02-2012 06:51 PM

spam sandwich and a big old glass of ice tea. some good ole home grown tomato and mayo sandwiches are good too

-- Jesus Is Alright with me

View StumpyNubs's profile


7588 posts in 2795 days

#10 posted 06-02-2012 08:29 PM

Tomato and mayo sandwich? Where’s the bacon?

-- Subscribe to "Stumpy Nubs Woodworking Journal"- One of the crafts' most unique publications:

View boxcarmarty's profile


16173 posts in 2354 days

#11 posted 06-03-2012 01:58 PM

So is it red or blue??? Quick, I’m running out of time here.

-- My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone.....

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