This morning I find that I’m avoiding the trip down to the wood shop. What lies behind this procrastination, I ask myself. Could it be that I am on the verge of tackling a new level of skill but do not yet know what that might be?
Or perhaps it is that the little projects that I have started are not meeting my expectations and a little self-doubt has slipped into my being? The motivation behind inaction might also lie in still waiting for the image of that summer contest project, something great that lies just outside of my vision.
And then again, this could be just a symptom of something greater. Ah, “greater” – an interesting choice of words my fingers chose to type. I had an image of a barrier in my mind and yet the Spirit manipulated the perspective and by the time it reached my fingers it had changed from a negative to a positive. That is a good sign.
Yes, a good sign, indeed, as I have been struggling for the past several days with the inner fire that waits to be unleashed, setting free some great potential that I long to find. I have also struggled with my never-ending challenge of finding—(please be patient with me, Frank)—balance in my life, a balance of all things important so that none gets lost in my daily life.
A characteristic of who I am is that I put a “100%” focus on some component of my life until something else takes a priority and then the first is forgotten and the second takes over. During the frenzy of passionate energies, household duties stockpile, other hobbies sit idle waiting for their moment to shine once again.
For example, all of November, December and January I waited for my supply of deer hides to get tanned. Three weeks ago we picked them up. I was so excited. Today, they still sit untouched and I am saddened. My camera also sits idle, longing to capture the beauty of nature. The list goes on, time abandonned adds up, as my current focus of woodworking has taken over my time and my mind.
Today.. yes, today, I am making a commitment to finding a balance, a way to take advantage of the 100% focus and at the same time allow my energies to also be shared with household responsibilities as well as my other hobbies.
“Have to” and “want to” activities. They are all “want to” (how fortunate for me). Today I begin my tomorrow.
Dishes – check.
Laundry – check.
-- ~ Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)