The journey with the shoe carving is continuing – and my block of wood, at this point, still looks like a shoe! This is good.But I was reminded of a very important component of carving, when a fellow student, TJ65, posted this update:
- My head hurts real bad. :-(
It’s hot to touch too, I think it has been whirring away for way too long concentrating on getting the pattern of the sole drawn up. (Maybe I shuda went for an easier shoe!)
I didn’t realise that you really have to think and measure when you carve something true to form!!
Now I know!!
Perfectionism—if you want to be a “realism” carver you have to be a perfectionist! This carving student is NOT a perfectionist. And so I am now using that willpower that I drew upon last week to avoid getting caught up in “fear” to, now, trying to be accurate in my measuring and carving. This does not come naturally.
Just as I was fighting to keep the thoughts of fear and anxiety out of my head last week, this week I struggle to keep the ideas and follow through of “precision” IN my head. Perhaps this is a good thing because it distracts me from the fear of (whatever it is) that will probably always be there.
As I think about this challenge with perfectionism and of the fear of “whatever”, I am reminded of something that I’ve considered on my journey towards self-awareness: I am, in fact, a perfectionist and, because of my fears of not being able to live up to this, I choose to be more casual with my creations.
The idea has merit – it completes the idea of what I am afraid of and it is a good motivation behind my relaxed goals. Although it makes sense, I am not completely sold on the idea. I look at my life and, everywhere, I see “casual”, hodgepodge, non-perfectionism. Can this fear possibly be contaminating all of my life? I think not.
Regardless of this self-awareness journey, I return to the “now” and I still have a shoe to carve – a realistic shoe – a project that needs perfectionism, precision, focus, and a personal mantra of ”I do care about the exact details” – at least on this project.
-- ~ Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)