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Health issues and Attitude adjustment #4: Is it giving up, or is it accepting what will be?

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Blog entry by Sandra posted 597 days ago 1560 reads 0 times favorited 27 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 3: Down but not out Part 4 of Health issues and Attitude adjustment series Part 5: Bungie cord injury. Dufus factor squared »

After my last stint in the hospital, i’ve been put off work again. At the end of the day, it’s highly likely that my small fiber neuropathy is going to be deemed idiopathic. In other words, I have a diagnosis for the process that is causing nerve damage, but no cause and therefore no treatment other than symptomatic. There are still some outstanding test results, but they are for rare diseases that quite frankly I’d rather not have anyway.

This whole ordeal has been going on for 20 months. I am bound and determined that I WILL be going back to work, but I’m starting to make peace with the fact that I will never be going back to the profession I love in the same capacity as before. While at home, I’ve been puttering around my shop, which I absolutely love. It’s been better for me than any of the medications I’ve tried. On a bad day, I’ll think about my next project, or read about a new skill I’d like to try and I’m able to get my mind off the pain.

As easy as it would be to say that it’s just a job, or that it’s not important, my specialty was important to me.
I’m sad about leaving it, but have gradually been getting used to the idea. I’ve also started to process the fact that I may not be able to handle full-time hours, at least while the kids still need so much of my energy.

I’ve always admired people who persevere and overcome obstacles. My husband is encouraging me not to give up.

So when is it giving up and when is it accepting what will be?

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.



27 comments so far

View Bagtown's profile

Bagtown

1699 posts in 2336 days


#1 posted 597 days ago

It’s not giving up at all.
Knowing your limitations is just good sense.
And as we get older sometimes we get limited more than we’re accustomed to, or want.
The only constant seems to be change, so keep changing with it.
These are things that I’ve been learning the hard way the last couple of years. Know what you can do and for how long you can do it. And learn to smile for yourself, not for everyone else.
Sounds like the shop may be becoming your new specialty. Keep learning. Everything you learned and know up until this point is just part of the journey into tomorrow.

So what is it that you were doing for a living before this?

Mike

-- Mike - In Fort McMurray Alberta

View David Craig's profile

David Craig

2130 posts in 1714 days


#2 posted 597 days ago

I would say giving up is reaching a point where life holds no joy and the desire for life itself has depleted.

So that would leave “acceptance,” right?

Except we might want to break this down a little further. What, exactly, are you accepting?

Based on what you wrote, I would say that what you are accepting is that your life may, or may not, have limitations. That, if push comes to shove, may require you to leave a position in which you take great enjoyment or pride in. However, if it entails this modification to life, you have also found a new interest in which you may experience joy, challenges, growth, etc. in which control of your quality of life is still within your hands.

I would say that you are neither giving up or accepting to the point of resignation. I would say that what you discovered is peace and hope. Two things very important to our sustaining and prospering as human beings.

I commend you and know that, no matter what happens, joy will not leave you. And you will be able to add yourself to that list of people that are admirable and persevere.

David

-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

4169 posts in 681 days


#3 posted 597 days ago

Care to guess?

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

13388 posts in 944 days


#4 posted 597 days ago

In some ways it’s like advanced aging. At some point we have to accept that we simply can’t do everything we used to do. Now the smart ones simply learn to compensate and do things differently. Giving up is sitting in a chair and do nothing. There are plenty of woodworkers here that have significant physical limitations. They’re still posting beautiful projects.

I don’t know how old our children are, but start involving them in your bigger (or all) projects. It not only gives you some aide (eventually) but it builds lasting memories for both of you.

Don’t ever give up and best wishes to you.

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it. - It's not ability that we often lack, but the patience to use our ability

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

13388 posts in 944 days


#5 posted 597 days ago

Some reason I thought you were a teacher

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it. - It's not ability that we often lack, but the patience to use our ability

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

4169 posts in 681 days


#6 posted 597 days ago

Close but no cigar Monte! Used to be a teacher, so maybe I still am… Taught for three years and then changed professions.

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

13388 posts in 944 days


#7 posted 597 days ago

Your approach to situations lead me to believe you were n education

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it. - It's not ability that we often lack, but the patience to use our ability

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

13388 posts in 944 days


#8 posted 597 days ago

I think all former teachers here become insurance salesmen :-)

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it. - It's not ability that we often lack, but the patience to use our ability

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

4169 posts in 681 days


#9 posted 597 days ago

So now, I’m just amusing myself as an excuse to not get up and get the day started.

Aw heck, it doesn’t really matter what my profession is/was/might be. If I’m not talking about my job because I don’t want it to define me, then leaving it shouldn’t matter, if it doesn’t define me, right?
I do spend waaaay too much time in my head.

I’m a county Mountie – pistol-packin’, red serge wearin’ member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
I’ve worked hard in this profession and had moved to a specialized section that I had always wanted to be in.
Becoming a desk-drivin’ carpet-cop is a big adjustment.

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

13388 posts in 944 days


#10 posted 597 days ago

Love it! That alone shows determination. We often spend too much time thinking and not enough just doing!

-- Mother Nature created it, I just assemble it. - It's not ability that we often lack, but the patience to use our ability

View Bagtown's profile

Bagtown

1699 posts in 2336 days


#11 posted 597 days ago

Teacher to Mountie. . . . to wood artist.
nice.

Just so you know reading your blog made me stop feeling sorry for myself and got me off my ass and moving this morning.
Thanks.

Mike

-- Mike - In Fort McMurray Alberta

View DIYaholic's profile (online now)

DIYaholic

12994 posts in 1280 days


#12 posted 597 days ago

From reading all of your posts and blog entries, there is NO WAY that you would “give up”!!!

Change and acceptance, are inevitable and neccessary, for without each you do not grow, learn and evolve. As a Mountie, i’m sure you delt with very “fluid” situations. Life is a veeery fluid situation. Without adapting to this change, one would surely drown. You are doing swimmingly!!!

Best of luck.

-- Randy-- I may not be good...but I am slow! If good things come to those who wait.... Why is procratination a bad thing?

View chrisstef's profile

chrisstef

10451 posts in 1612 days


#13 posted 597 days ago

Many thoughtful posts put out there Sandra. Adapt and overcome has tended to be my solution to life issues. Being a woodworker and part of the force i know that you have this in you. Adapting to a slightly different lifestyle is the hard part. We all want to be able to do what we “used” to do, this is human nature. We do not want to succumb to anyones demands except our own. Overcoming these issues will be the easy part for you. Youve got the drive, youve got the desire. Find a new way to make a mortise ;) Best of luck Sandra.

-- "there aren’t many hand tools as awe-inspiring as the #8 jointer. I mean, it just reeks of cast iron heft and hubris" - Smitty

View DocSavage45's profile

DocSavage45

4763 posts in 1448 days


#14 posted 597 days ago

I’m late to your party! LOL! I have worked with people who experience pain. I believe you are doing great pain management here.

A Canadian Mounte….Cool! What desires took you from one noble profession to another? I believe those are your strenghts. Do they still ride horses or now 4×4’s?

The respnonses here are quite prolific, and I would agree with them all.

You are not alone in your pain although it is yours alone. It will be your muse and your driver, much like getting old or loosing that which we love? I know people with less fortitude who have looked forward to retirement only to become alchoholics. There are many in this world with less than I and in more struggle. So I try to keep that perspective, when I get bummed out! Not me???LOL!

Sandra maybe it is both acceptance and resignation or none of it? Just how you define it.

Looks like you have support here, and with your family and friends?

I was once told by a pretty smart guy, “there is no joy without pain”. I’m lookin for the joy in the time left to me.

Tom/aka DocSavage

-- Cau Haus Designs, Thomas J. Tieffenbacher

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

4169 posts in 681 days


#15 posted 597 days ago

Thanks so much for the responses.

Mike – Trying to smile for myself is good advice. Now that you know my profession, if I ever show up at your cafe, you’ll know that even if I’m a loon, at least I’m a security-cleared loon.

David – you write very eloquently, and put a lot of thought into your responses. I really appreciate that. You’re probably a killer scrabble player.

Monte – It is a lot like aging. I’ve often heard people older than me say ‘I used to be able to do this or that’. I’m ashamed to say that my internal response to that used to be pretty cold, as I would think they were stuck in the past. I’ve certainly gained some insight into the challenges we face as our bodies change.

and Doc – will you write a prescription for Home Depot?????
We do have a ceremonial troop of horses in Ottawa, but they’re not our usual means of transportation. In this neck of the woods, we do have 4×4s, snowmobiles and 4wheel drives.

Chris – funny, but ‘mortise’ is on the list of skills I’d like to learn.

And Randy – it may be the dog paddle, but I’m swimmin’

I made Christmas cards this year, and there is only one word on the front: JOY

Thanks gents. Again.

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

showing 1 through 15 of 27 comments

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