Ramblings of a Middle Aged Furniture Maker #3: In the words of the late great John Wayne, "Fill your hands you Sonofabitch"

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Blog entry by LyallAndSons posted 03-14-2014 06:26 AM 1177 reads 0 times favorited 4 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 2: This should have been entry #1 so everyone knew I was full of #2 Part 3 of Ramblings of a Middle Aged Furniture Maker series Part 4: Married life »

Who would have EVER thought…one of our LumberJock brethren has wronged me! You know,since I made 8 or so posts here and we’re all so tight, know each other so well…I mean, I’d even have helped him move if called upon!

Why am I so upset you ask? Well, I’ll just tell you but first a little backstory. In the last few weeks I’ve ran up on a deal on a Unisaw that I just had to have to replace one of my smaller saws. Shortly after that purchase, I found a good price on a 12 inch turret style Delta radial arm saw. Since my Craftsman wasn’t as accurate as I’d like, I pulled the trigger. I guess the final straw was my 12 inch jointer that was about the same price as the week in the Bahamas I canceled to make the purchase. Here’s a little tip to our younger LJs out there. It doesn’t matter who SAYS they wear the pants in the family, if you EVER want her to take hers off again, DON’T cancel your second honeymoon to buy a woodworking machine! And no, the Super 8 across town and splitting a Happy Meal is NOT just as good! Happy meal my ass, wasn’t ANYTHING blissful about THAT meal. trust me! I still run things around my house the vacuum cleaner… the dish washer…but I digress.

To make a long blog short, I had finally sweet talked the “bookkeeper” into a new saw to complete my collection. I made a post asking about steal of a deal on a LV dovetail saw listed on “A popular auction site” even though I already knew I wanted it. A fellow Jock, let’s call him “Marv” to protect the guilty, replied with how I should jump on the deal, how he had always wanted one too, and how good the price was as opposed to a new one. I thanked “Marv” and clicked back over to make my purchase. All was right in the world, I was getting a new dovetail saw at a price that would make even the boss happy, birds were singing, I found an old episode of Norm using a HANDPLANE, and my truck was getting great gas millage! The page loads and…and…give me a second here…AUCTION ENDED! I MISSED IT!

Well, naturally I come back here to be consoled by my fellow LumberJocks as I knew you’d understand but what do I find? Marv, and his gloat about MY new saw! That hairy backed, 3 sandwich eating, mouth breather had sawblocked me and had the gall to come back, in plain site, and bragged about it! I hope he gets the saw home and it’s kinked AND filed crosscut! I hope his dog gets pregnant, his wife turns gay, and he suffers from anal leakage and uneven tire wear! I hope goes into his shop and someone has replaced every single tool he has with stuff from Harbor Freight! No wait, that’s STILL too good for the greasy elbowed cat jacker…stuff from FINGERHUT!

Shew…It feels good to get that off my chest! On a semi-related note, anyone know where I can buy wood filler by the gallon at this hour? I’m sure I’ll need a couple buckets since I’m back to cutting my dovetails with a chainsaw. Now, was it pins or tails first….?

-- Lyall & Sons Woodsmiths...Custom handcrafted woodwork since 1989

4 comments so far

View Jake's profile


850 posts in 1806 days

#1 posted 03-14-2014 06:57 AM

Yeah, If the wife ain’t happy, ain’t noone gonna be happy in the house…

That saw story is pretty bad though, I feel for ya. But now as you have some cash left over, maybe you can now take your wife out for 2nds on the happy meal to compensate for the cancelled holiday? :)

-- Measure twice, cut once, cut again for good measure.

View TraylorPark's profile


212 posts in 1774 days

#2 posted 03-14-2014 12:14 PM

Love it. I can’t stand those knuckle dragging mouth breathers either. In addition to his Fingerhut tools he should also have only Justin Bieber cranking in his shop speakers. And if you are still looking for dovetail saw I’ve got a Fat Max that I can lend you. Sure the kerf is a little wide and the teeth really need a sharpening, but it’ll take you 10 times longer than the chainsaw and then you won’t have to deal with the boss yelling at for longer periods of time.

-- --Zach

View Smitty_Cabinetshop's profile (online now)


15651 posts in 2794 days

#3 posted 03-14-2014 12:30 PM


There’s a special place in tool ‘heck’ for that kind of behavior. Lyall, hope you find the saw you’re looking for soon, and without any additional drama. You might even head over the saw thread to see if there’s anyone there looking to sell a good vintage user. You never know…

-- Don't anthropomorphize your handplanes. They hate it when you do that. -- OldTools Archive --

View Grumpymike's profile


2317 posts in 2491 days

#4 posted 03-14-2014 05:23 PM

Now that’s about as low as dog droppin’s on the front lawn.
But maybe we will get lucky and see where “Marv” cut his fingers with this non flesh detecting saw.
Or a post where his lumber rack falls on the saw and broke it.
Or he finds the “Made in Japan” stamp … or even worse a” Made in China” ...

-- Grumpy old guy, and lookin' good Doin' it. ... Surprise Az.

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