Valentine’s Day Oneliners
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses!
What would you get if you crossed Odie with the god of love?
A stupid cupid!
Sorry Odie That was the way it came to me. Not a slam, don’t get mad.
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine’s Day!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
“I’m sweet on you!”
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!
What would you call a woman who goes out with Jon?
What did one pickle say to the other?
“You mean a great dill to me.”
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a ton!”
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”
Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!
What did the pencil say to the paper?
“I dot my i’s on you!”
Liz: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”
Liz: “Yeah, you make me sick!”
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t suit his taste!
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By the way Happy Birthday to Me.
A piece of Cheesecake and a coffee is one me.
Let me know and I’ll send it as an attachment.
-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia firstname.lastname@example.org †