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Valentine Day One-liners

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Blog entry by Karson posted 2341 days ago 1022 reads 0 times favorited 14 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Valentine’s Day Oneliners

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses!

What would you get if you crossed Odie with the god of love?
A stupid cupid!

Sorry Odie That was the way it came to me. Not a slam, don’t get mad.

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine’s Day!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
“I’m sweet on you!”

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!

What would you call a woman who goes out with Jon?
Desperate!

What did one pickle say to the other?
“You mean a great dill to me.”

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a ton!”

What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!

What did the pencil say to the paper?
“I dot my i’s on you!”

Liz: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”
Jon: “Really?”
Liz: “Yeah, you make me sick!”

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t suit his taste!

Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080213

By the way Happy Birthday to Me.
A piece of Cheesecake and a coffee is one me.

Let me know and I’ll send it as an attachment.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †



14 comments so far

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18614 posts in 2747 days


#1 posted 2341 days ago

mmmmmmmmmmmm birthday cake—and cheesecake, to boot!! whoo hooo

Happy birthday!!!

great funny ha has :)

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

View matter's profile

matter

210 posts in 2356 days


#2 posted 2341 days ago

How many LJ’s are scrambling in their shops right now?

I’m giving my wife some lumber, and a gift certificate for lessons on what you do with it.

I may want to include a match.

What do dogs say on Valentine’s day?

I ruff you….

-- The only easy wood project is a fire

View lazyfiremaninTN's profile

lazyfiremaninTN

528 posts in 2539 days


#3 posted 2341 days ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARSON…...AND MANY HAPPY AND HEALTHY RETURNS.

-- Adrian ..... The 11th Commandment...."Thou Shalt Not Buy A Wobble Dado"

View Karson's profile

Karson

34847 posts in 2987 days


#4 posted 2341 days ago

Adrian You can buy me a gift at the wood show. I’ll buy the coffee.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

View lazyfiremaninTN's profile

lazyfiremaninTN

528 posts in 2539 days


#5 posted 2341 days ago

Pink Hand cuff girl will be there and will be holding the debit card or I would. Maybe Greg will

-- Adrian ..... The 11th Commandment...."Thou Shalt Not Buy A Wobble Dado"

View Douglas Bordner's profile

Douglas Bordner

3958 posts in 2650 days


#6 posted 2341 days ago

Happy Birthday Karson!

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

View rikkor's profile

rikkor

11295 posts in 2461 days


#7 posted 2341 days ago

Happy birthday Karson, and many more!

View mrtrim's profile

mrtrim

1696 posts in 2467 days


#8 posted 2341 days ago

happy birthday mr. karson !

View Thos. Angle's profile

Thos. Angle

4435 posts in 2549 days


#9 posted 2341 days ago

Happy birthday Karson. I think you been hangin’ out with Garfield too much.

-- Thos. Angle, Jordan Valley, Oregon

View SPalm's profile

SPalm

4709 posts in 2468 days


#10 posted 2341 days ago

Happy Birthday Sir. Keep it comming.

Steve

-- -- I'm no rocket surgeon

View Lee A. Jesberger's profile

Lee A. Jesberger

6646 posts in 2566 days


#11 posted 2341 days ago

Hi Karson;

Happy birthday!

It’s really too bad you don’t have a day job.

One you wouldn’t quit for a new career in comedy! LOL

Who’s Jon, and why are you so hard on him?

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

View Napaman's profile

Napaman

5315 posts in 2663 days


#12 posted 2340 days ago

HAPPY birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANy new toys???? hope you had a great day!

-- Matt--Proud LJ since 2007

View Karson's profile

Karson

34847 posts in 2987 days


#13 posted 2340 days ago

No new toys.

My wife’s Valentine card message to me says it all.

After so many years its hard to buy you something (You won’t take backl) So I just give you again my heart.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18614 posts in 2747 days


#14 posted 2338 days ago

ooooooooooooooh that’s beautiful

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

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