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Honorary Lumberjock Down Ms. D. #4: Decsion Day...The staff meeting....Does she get to go home or lose her home?

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Blog entry by Dusty posted 05-10-2007 10:44 PM 1029 reads 0 times favorited 17 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 3: On the brink of loseing everything she has... Part 4 of Honorary Lumberjock Down Ms. D. series Part 5: A simple request...is all Ms. D had wanted and looked so forward to... »

After the meeting at the nursing home with all the staff and interested parties in Ms. D’s future care there was a lot of anxiety.

This was understandable. After all the stakes were high.

M.s. D. Had been declared a vulnerable adult and her care was no longer in her control. The government, nursing staff, Dr.s and county social workers all had some say in present and future decisions.

In a previous meeting with all of the interested parties a plan was laid out for her return to her own home.

She wasn’t sleeping well since that meeting.

I wasn’t sleeping at all.

Her future and fate was at the hands of someone else. She tried to put the best face on it as possible.

I saw this face and it was ugly. I never let her know this.

I never wavered form our plan and my commitment to bring her back home.

I had no choice, I had to be the rock, but confess, doubts haunted me.

We held steadfast, others prayed for us.

The day arrived that the inspection was to take place in order to determine if Ms. D. could come back home.

She had been busy lining up all the things we promised in the meeting.

Several of us had been busy getting her home ready for her return.

The time arrived.

I will never forget the rented transportation van pulling up in her yard, backing in and opening the back door. The wheel chair lift deploying so she was able to get off the van.

This all seemed surreal.

For a moment, the enormity of what was at stake with this inspection, caused chills and some slight panic feelings.

Ms. D. started talking nervously with the staff that had followed the van over to her home. She was trying to make small talk and commenting about how nice the yard looked and how good it felt to be at home.

She was nervous.

Very nervous.

She wasn’t alone.

Hers was evident, I refused to show mine. I took control of the wheel chair and headed for the handicap ramp that we had built for her the previous weekend.

We rolled right up the ramp and into the house.

Various members of the nursing home staff made comments about how nice the ramp was and how easy she could get in and out of the house.

Ms.D jumped in and asked “does this mean I pass the inspection”.

They said “well … this part of the inspection yes”.

We had moved her bed into the living room, removed all the rugs and any hazards that were present along with setting up a table, microwave, special telephone, and various other helpful things to aid in her return.

Ms. D. was put through various tests and tasks. She had to demonstrate she could get in and out of her wheelchair into the bed, portable commode, and chair. She had to prove that she could get out in case of a fire.

She performed all the requested tasks.

She struggled some. It was hard watching her do this but I couldn’t do them for her.

It seemed after each test she would ask anxiously “did I pass”.

They never really responded. They just smiled and said “we have a lot to consider”.

From time to time they asked me questions. I would answer them the best I could.

They had concerns about the bathroom.

I explained that we had made arrangements for the time being to use a portable commode I had already applied for and received a building permit for the bathroom remodel. I had drawn a plan for making the bathroom handicap accessible, and showed this plan to the staff, in the event it should become necessary in the future.

I pointed out that until a decision to allow Ms. D back to her home was made, it was an unnecessary expense and burden on her at this point.

I assured them that should it become necessary or a requirement of her return to home these changes to make the bathroom handicap assessable could be make in a short amount of time. Every thing was in place to make this happen quickly.

I produced an approved building permit showing the changes I described to them.

They were silent.

The inspection ended.

I rolled Ms.D. back to the waiting van to take her back to the nursing home.

Her Medicare had run out and she was paying 259 dollars a day for her room alone at the nursing home. She was anxious to come home.

She asked again “did I pass”

They would only say they would have a staff meeting later this after noon and advise her.

They started heading back to there cars. I asked “may I take a few minutes and go get the basset hounds so Ms. D. could see them before she returned to the nursing home.

They said, “Sure take as long as you like”.

We did.

I rolled her back to the deck, got the ice tea out, some homemade treats, along with the basset hounds.

It was just like many other summer days previously that we did the same exact thing.

We just sat there in the sun, enjoying the moment, not knowing if this would perhaps be the last one.

Not a word was said about that possibility.

We both were thinking it, that I knew.

Some things just don’t need to be said.

We just enjoyed the moment.

The time came to load her back up and return to the nursing home.

I said “good bye for now” as I shut the door and waved as the van pulled out.

I really didn’t know if it was the last time she might be allowed to come home or not.

The phone rang at 5 pm.

It was Ms. D. In a cracking voice she said “I get to come home”.

That was all I needed to hear.

Our prayers had been heard.

I thanked God.

Now I thank all of you.

Ms. D is coming home next week.

For now at least, they agreed to allow her to come home on a trial basis.

The score… Ms.D 2 Nursing home 0

-- Dusty



17 comments so far

View Greg3G's profile

Greg3G

815 posts in 2750 days


#1 posted 05-10-2007 11:42 PM

WAY TO GO! Good work and God Bless…Send Ms D. my greetings and a Big WELCOME HOME!

-- Greg - Charles Town, WV

View Don's profile

Don

2600 posts in 2842 days


#2 posted 05-10-2007 11:49 PM

Take a little credit yourself, my friend! Well done.

-- CanuckDon "I just love small wooden boxes!" http://www.dpb-photos.com/

View roundabout22's profile

roundabout22

89 posts in 2751 days


#3 posted 05-11-2007 01:09 AM

Good job Dusty. Tell her that all of us here are happy for her.

-- remember always measure once and cut twice

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18615 posts in 2825 days


#4 posted 05-11-2007 01:10 AM

((sigh of relief))

declared a vulnerable adult and her care was no longer in her control
boy that really makes you think—how easily it is that we can lose the perceived control over our lives. In the blink of an eye someone can decide that they know what is best. Period. Scary.

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

View Don's profile

Don

2600 posts in 2842 days


#5 posted 05-11-2007 01:54 AM

Yes, Debbie, talk about Big brother.

-- CanuckDon "I just love small wooden boxes!" http://www.dpb-photos.com/

View Dusty's profile

Dusty

785 posts in 2821 days


#6 posted 05-11-2007 02:25 AM

Debbie,

It sure made me stand up and take notice when they said that she was now a vulnerable adult.

That sure made me think.

It sure drives home the need to have these details worked out and shared with who ever maybe involved with these decisions later in life.

The time for this discussion is now, when every one has all there resources and facility’s intact, not during a crisis.

The one thing that stands out for me so far with this whole experience is how routine it seems the nursing home, staff, Dr.s and other “care givers” address long term care, and end of life decisions .

I am not questioning there commitment to caring for there patience . I was just taken back as to how calloused they seemed and how every thing seemed to be about money.

What I am so taken back by is the fact that this has grown to be such a large business.

The demands on the system are so great that, finding what is the best care , while trying to be sensitive and having compassion, at the same time leaving the person with there dignity in tack is not a given.

In fact, it appears that one of the first casualty’s is the persons dignity.

This to me is just fundamentally wrong.

-- Dusty

View Karson's profile

Karson

34878 posts in 3065 days


#7 posted 05-11-2007 03:11 AM

Congratulations to Mrsd D, and to you Dusty for your preparations and assistance in this matter. We are forever glad to be taken along for the ride through this process.

What was said about the bathroon. Did that become a requirement?

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

View Dusty's profile

Dusty

785 posts in 2821 days


#8 posted 05-11-2007 03:27 AM

Karsen,

They for now have it on “pending status”.

I pointed out to them that until she finds out if she will be able to walk and use that leg effectively it would be premature to go through all the expense and headache of living in the house while the rehab is going on.

I have the permits, plans and course of action I am just waiting for the prognosis of the leg. Depending on this outcome, ( we should know in about 4 weeks) the next step will be decided.

There is a tremendous cost difference as I am sure you are aware between making a bath room more accessible and user friendly verses having to accommodate a wheel chair and meeting ADA requirements.

She has limited means, so her assets need to be used very wisely.

-- Dusty

View PanamaJack's profile

PanamaJack

4473 posts in 2742 days


#9 posted 05-11-2007 06:48 AM

Great job Dusty! God bless you my friend. Please tell Ms D we all said Howdy and that she has a whole lot more friends than she thought she had!

I love happy endings!

-- Carpe Lignum; Tornare Lignum (Seize the wood, to Turn the wood)

View Sawdust2's profile

Sawdust2

1467 posts in 2752 days


#10 posted 05-11-2007 01:25 PM

Tears.

Cheers.

-- No piece is cut too short. It was meant for a smaller project.

View Jeff's profile

Jeff

1011 posts in 2759 days


#11 posted 05-11-2007 05:55 PM

It’s wonderful to learn of this Dusty! Congrats to you and Ms. D both!

-- Jeff, St. Paul, MN

View dennis mitchell's profile

dennis mitchell

3994 posts in 2979 days


#12 posted 05-11-2007 06:01 PM

This is just crazy to me. I’ve dealt with too many mental disabled people who need help and the system just shuts down with the “we can’t interfere with their rights” cop out. You can drug yourself to death and they will not raise a finger. Thanks for being there Dusty! How many people have no one to be on their side. Ms D is blessed.

View oscorner's profile

oscorner

4564 posts in 2976 days


#13 posted 05-11-2007 06:24 PM

That’s the best news! God is a great and wonderful God! We’ll keep praying for her recovery and your well being.

-- Jesus is Lord!

View Diane's profile

Diane

546 posts in 2788 days


#14 posted 05-12-2007 05:05 AM

I’m so happy they are going to give her this trial (tears). I bet your visit with her and the dog helped too for them to see the caring you were giving her. Thanks so much for helping her with God’s help. I agree you sure get lots of the credit too.

Diane

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18615 posts in 2825 days


#15 posted 05-12-2007 12:30 PM

I was thinking about this yesterday (again) and thought—she’s not MENTALLY vulnerable—she still has the capacity to think and to make choices. I understand ‘big brother’ stepping in when someone loses the capacity to make rational choices (or whatever qualifying term you want to use) and there is no one around to make the choices for them…. but to step in and take over one’s life because they have a broken leg?? !!! that’s bad.

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

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