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21K views 116 replies 37 participants last post by  Grumpy 
#1 ·
The Idea ... In Memory of Mark (Osconer)...

December 30, 2007

The idea was very simple and straight forward; create a memorial project to Mark (Osconer) that would generate funds for Lumberjocks, the common dominator amongst all of us. Simply stated, without the website as the common thread we wouldn't have been introduced to Mark or been brought together as a group.

For this reason it occurred to me that the best way to memorialize someone would be to see to it that the vehicle that brought everyone together had the resources to continue operation . This could be perpetuated and perhaps expanded in the future as another way to contribute to the constant financial demands of developing and maintaining the Lumberjocks website.

The economic reality of any website is that its growth will also fuel financial demands beyond what an individual is usually able to support on their own. There comes a point in any hobby or business when that "invisible" line is crossed and one is at a point of no return.

Obviously, Martin and Lumberjocks reached this point some time ago when he sought revenue from advertising sources and when he began the donor program to help offset expenses.

The sad reality is that it took the passing of a good friend of the Lumberjocks community, Mark (Osconer) to generate this idea.

However, this provides an opportunity to honor and memorialize a good man and at the same time, become a positive method of contributing more funds to ensure that Lumberjocks is able to continue in the future.

The following is the actual text of the message I sent Karson. This will help put in context the idea…

"To Karson Sent 7 days ago Subject A memorial Idea, Message

Karson,

I have a idea that I would like to bounce off you.

As you know I like many others was profoundly sadden and taken back by Marks passing.
I was thinking one way to ensure his contributions would be create a memorial to him via this web site.

What I mean is this, one of the ways to ensure that all of Marks contributions stay alive is to be sure this web site continues to exist.

I propose, (and welcome any ideas you and others may have regarding this) that I design, create, build and ship at no cost, a stained glass window to the highest bidder in a silent auction that is conducted here in Lumberjocks of an original piece of my stained glass work.

All moneys would go to Martin via PayPal.

If willing, Martin would then accept and acknowledge receipt of the money but not state the amount.

This is the proposed piece I would make. I would do a blog about creating this piece and a step-by-step detailed pictorial.

I would then ship the piece to you in the raw and, if you agree, you make the "wood frame" and perhaps stain it and then ship it to the winner of the silent auction.

Let me know what you think.

If you would like to talk about more feel free to call me.

612- 916- xxxx

I am very open to suggestions.

Perhaps others could make things like small boxes or whatever to create ways for this to allow for others to contribute to keeping this web site alive.

That to me is one way to keep "Marks and others" alive in memory.

Here is my suggested piece … I would call it "Marks Heavenly Flight".

This piece would be a new one I would create especial for him, but would be very close to this design.

It would be 24" x 24" and you or whoever, could make the frame to hang it. Stained glass needs to be hung in a window or someplace where light can shine through it.

One possibility would be for me to donate the one I created and built that hangs in my front window of my home "This Old Crack House", if this would be timelier. That could be shipped to you in a mater of just days.

The new one I would build would take approximately a month or more to design and build and to blog, ect. I am open to ideas.

I would prefer to build an original piece, and detail it in a blog so others could be part of the whole memorial process.

I will email you some pictures of what I had in mind.

Regards

Dusty

The text of Karson's reply was as follows.

"From Karson Sent 7 days ago Subject Re: A memorial Idea, Message

Dusty that is a beautiful suggestion. I think a special stained glass would be best, That way it would be more unique to Mark. And an offer of others to make items and put them up for bid would also make a great purpose of this memorial.

We are having our family Christmas here this weekend so I'll call you later. My number is ….

The idea had been born and all that had to be figured out was how and what could should and would be done and by whom.

Besides getting Martin on board with the whole idea, the best way to "donate", auction, sell, or give the piece of stained glass with Karson's custom frame had to be worked out.

Ideas could be sought from other Lumberjocks who also knew Mark and perhaps wanted to help with the memorial.

Douglas had already set up a memorial avatar for Mark and had it posted for any other Lumberjocks who wanted to use it.

Due to my limited computer skills, he downloaded my picture and set it up for me.

That is the spirit of this Lumberjocks community that I was referring to when discussing with Karson the reasons for a lasting memorial.

He agreed.

Over the next few days several back and forth messages between several Lumberjocks kicking around various ideas that might be the best way to both memorialize Mark and expand the concept into the future.

Karson rightly pointed out that Mark was the first Lumberjock that we knew had passed away. Sadly, he certainly wouldn't be the last Lumberjock to pass on.

One of the inherent problems of the internet, is just that, a person can remain anonymous or suddenly drop out and never be heard from again and leave many wondering what ever happened to that person.

The very nature of close-knit cyber-communities is that they remain elusive when attempting to track the individuals of which they are made up.

Many ideas and thoughts were exchanged with a handful of Lumberjocks about the best way to raise funds and yet memorialize both Mark and others in the future.

The idea of e-bay was floated however this introduced several problems and for the most part was set aside as the least effective way to create a simple lasting memorial for Mark and to serve future needs of this community .

Dan Walters, suggested in his discussions that a lottery could be held, where a small donation via Pay Pal which was already set up on the Lumberjocks site could be made. In turn this donation would enter you into a drawing and from that pool of names a winner could be drawn at random.

This idea would not only give everyone an equal chance at winning but would remove the competitive nature for someone who is unable to afford to bid on a project.

This idea seemed to be the fairest with the most potential to become an ongoing concern.
For example, if someone wanted to build a box, piece of furniture, or even offer up a tool, or something of value that they no longer used or wanted to build or donate to Lumberjocks with all of the proceeds going to support the website this method would be the simplest.

This also provides several avenues for others to participate in various ways other than just giving cash as a donor. One thought was not only through memorials for Lumberjocks but someone mentioned they would like to donate a piece of furniture that they built in memory of their long time pet.

Ideas are endless for this fund raising vehicle. If one chooses not to participate in this, there is no obligation to do so.

This way as a neutral party, Martin could be the keeper of the funds and have control over the intake and the final disposition of the funds once they had been received. He would then notify the donor to ship the project.

One other safeguard in this method is, if for some reason the project wasn't shipped to the winner, the money could be refunded to those who wanted a refund.

After several ideas and exchanges back and forth between various Lumberjocks, the basic idea and concept had taken a rough-draft form. What had to be worked out were several of the final details along with presenting it to Martin for his approval. It was anticipated that Debbie would be the one who would approach Martin with this idea and present it.

Regardless of the outcome, and I hoped it would become reality, I decided I would move forward with creating, designing, drawing and building a stained glass window in memory of Mark.

My reason for starting this project without all the details finalized with Martin and the Lumberjocks site was very simple; I wanted to do something in memory of Mark.

Period!

This felt right and was the right thing to do in my mind.

I have a natural outlet for stained glass projects anyways and would sell whatever I built for a memorial to Mark and in turn simply donated the proceeds from the sale, in the event Martin felt uncomfortable with this idea.

However, I preferred to involve as many other Lumberjocks in this project and felt strongly about helping set up another method of an ongoing way to raise funds.

Later in the day, after I had sent Karson a message detailing some of the ideas and asking for his help, he called me.

We had never spoken previously.

We spoke on the phone for over 41 minutes the first time and it felt like I had known him my whole life.

It was a tremendous pleasure.

What a selfless, gifted man he is and his offer to help was very touching.

We agreed on a 'general idea' for the type of stained glass window. From some pictures we had exchanged, we decided on what we felt would be the most appropriate as a tribute for Mark.

One of the pictures seemed to capture the "essence" of Mark. I had sent a picture of a stained glass piece that hangs in the living room of my home, "This Old Crack House". Although one of my own creations and favorite pieces, I wanted to create an original piece just for Mark.

It was decided that I would use that piece as a theme but start over and create, draw and build a one-of-a-kind original piece in memory of Mark.

Although I was honored to be able to do this, yet I felt so humbled and inadequate. I knew no matter what I created, it would fall well short of expectations and never ever be deserving of being an appropriate memorial for Mark.

Never-the-less, I would try. The only thing I knew for sure was my heart was overflowing with passion and desire to create something worthy of a small memorial of Marks life and worth the time and effort that Karson would put forth to create the frame.

I felt somewhat daunted with the heavy burden of making something worthwhile of the frame that I knew Karson would build.

I accepted this was going to be an impossible task but would do my best.

I would try.

That was all I had to offer, was my word I would do me best. This was all I could do.

I began with first cleaning up my shop and clearing off an area on my work bench to lay out a single piece of off white 24×24 paper.



On top of the paper I had pencils, a few rulers, several erasers and some other drawing items.

I just stated drawing. I had no idea what I would create. My shop was total silence.

I noticed that my paper has a few wet spots as I rough sketched a design I had in mind.

Their were tears that were running down my cheek and falling onto the paper.

I stopped drawing, and they flowed freely.

My hand shook.

I thought to myself, I can't do this.

I stopped, and just sat in silence.

I tried the best I could to compose myself.

I started drawing again.

I didn't stop until I finished.

I have no idea how long it took or what I was doing.

I just did it, it just happened.

When finished, I stepped back to look over the drawing.



There were a few smudge marks on the drawing from where my tears had fallen and caused the pencil marks to run. I was thinking to myself, 'I hope whoever ends up with this drawing (I intended to send the original drawing with the piece so that it could never be built again and was really a one of a kind creation) would be understanding and look past the smudge marks and be forgiving.

Time will tell on that thought, I will just have to wait and see.

For the moment it didn't seem to matter, the drawing was done.

It was the best I could do; I had put my heart and tears into the drawing.

Literally!

Foot note;

To be continued ; there will be several parts to this blog and project .

The story about creating this memorial from various Lumberjocks and others who have so unselfishly contributed to this project will move you.

These Lumberjocks are what makes this site so special.

I promise you, that there efforts are not only moving and a reflection of the Lumberjocks community spirit but there work and creations are nothing short of stunning.

Please stay tuned in days and weeks ahead as this project unfolds.

I can honestly say this had been one of the most moving experiences of my life.

I am so humbled to be a small part of this project.

The best part of this is it involves so many members and each and every one who chooses can be part of this memorial.

That is the what Lumberjocks is all about, the coming to together as a community and sharing what our passions are.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Enough said!
 
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#27 ·
Martin,

At the risk of forgetting one of the many Lumberjocks who played a role in the birth, development, brainstorming, and implementation of this memorial ; it needs to be said say that we are only a small part of a much larger and community that is part of this project and Idea.

We simply are in the spot lite.

This memorial and project is so much bigger than us or any one person.

That is what makes it great.

I would be remiss however not to point out that the idea of a lottery which allows for more participants and a level playing field came from fellow Lumberjock Dan Walters.

The good news is anyone and every one who whats to partake in this memorial can do so.

Thank you!
 
#29 ·
Im Memory of Mark; The Drawing

"In Memory of Mark; The Drawing!



Several of us Lumberjocks were still kicking around ideas about what would be the best way to create a lasting memorial that could also be ongoing way to raise money to help defray the expenses of the Lumberjocks website.

Concurrently, along with the exchanges and various ideas flowed back and forth between the Lumberjocks, I needed to move forward with building the stained glass piece. The drawing in stained glass work is called "the cartoon". From the cartoon comes the panel or finished piece. I had to take my final drawing and have it reproduced in order that I could cut patterns, number the pieces, and use as a template and layout guild for the piece.

I neither have, nor could justify the cost of a scanner and plotter of the size required to reproduce the drawing to the size I wanted so I took the final drawing and headed off to Kinko's.

I always dread this part of any project because of the uncertainty and unpleasant experiences I have had with these "evil machines" that have eaten my drawings in the past. I picture this menacing machine with a smirk and grin that says "about time you got here - I am hungry".



I hate them. Those machines are predators! They pray on those of us who are electronically challenged.



I know of very few feeling of helplessness like that of a machine munching down on one of your original drawings on which you invested hours and now is lodged in the throat of some roller on a cold lifeless machine with a blinking error light that says, "JAM"!



The thought of this sends shutters up and down my spine.

Have I told you how much I hate these machines?

Moving forward with great confidence I go to make copies of my drawings.

I enter the back door and walk past the machine. I swear that it looked at me with an evil eye and I even heard it burp!

Have I told you how much I hate that machine?

I seek out help from the assistant manager who gives me the confidence to feel a little smug as though I have outsmarted the machine. As I walked by it, I stuck my tongue out at it.

The assistant manager gladly helped me and took my drawing making some very nice comments and small talk. He recognized that this was going to be a stained glass piece and impressed me with his knowledge about the craft.

He even commented that the dove featured in the cartoon looked like it was ascending into the heavens.

I smiled, because that is exactly my intent and hope that others would recognize this theme.

As we waited for the machine to warm up we were engaged in some pleasant small talk. It turns out he was a framing carpenter for several years and we were able to share some of our experiences.

The machine is finally warm and he presses the button confidently. The machine takes my drawing as it disappears behind the rollers.

The machine stops!

So does my heart!

That sick feeling returns. You know what I am referring to. Every one of us have e experienced it at one time or another.

That sick feeling is back again, this time with a vengeance!

I take a deep breath as he fumbles still sporting a smile.

His smile seems fake and forced.

Nothing happens.



I felt like a deer stuck in the headlights.

Helpless!

None of the thoughts at that moment can be printed here for fear I would be accused of being a verbal terrorist and risk being locked up for a long time.

For a moment I thought, "It just might be worth doing the time", fearful that my original drawing had been destroyed.



Calm prevailed as he opened covers and began what looked like major surgery on this machine. I secretly hoped the darn thing had finally died its rightful death. However, I wanted my drawing back first.

After all this was the only one I had.

What seemed like an eternity came to a conclusion in short order. Soon he had the machine spitting out copies.

The color returned to my face and I started breathing again.

All seemed to be going well, but knowing that any minute this could change I remained silent and in prayer.

I gathered up my copies and headed for the cashier and paid my fees. I walked right past the machine as I left the back door and gave it a dirty look.

I swear that machine winked and burped!

I headed home to begin the layout of the cartoon and to select the glass.

I looked over my shoulder as I entered on to the freeway, to be sure that the machine wasn't following me. I am still not sure whether it did or not.

For the record, I take back everything I said about it.

I have to return to use that machine again.

I forgot to reduce the drawing to 18×24 which Karson and I had talked about rather than the 24×24 size. We felt this would be better in the event that whoever won the piece may elect to hang it in a window, in order to allow natural light to shine through.

This had all the makings of not only a long day but an interesting one.

I was determined to win this battle.

I was so happy to be back in my shop and ready move on with the layout and glass choices.



Laying out, along with choosing the glass, is in my opinion, every bit as important if not more; as cutting, soldering, and putting together the final panel. I feel that this step can be and often is the make or break part of the project.

In woodworking, finding interesting grain patterns and wood that complements the project that will be well placed and thoughtfully incorporated in the design of the project, is very important.

Glass is no different in this respect. Glass, like wood also needs to be well thought out regarding its placement in relationship to the project. This step often is the most important thing you can do for that piece.

This is a simple rule of design many woodworkers use in there projects.

In fact, there are many other complicated factors such as density, texture, light reflection and retention, along with multiple other considerations in choosing glass for your project, that also need to be taken in to consideration.

It is not uncommon to take several hours trying different glass combinations, only to start over after you expose the various pieces you choose to various light exposures and color combinations.

Simply stated, this step in the process of creating the stained glass panel can not be rushed. This part of the project must be done with patience and care.

Glass choices are abundant; however few rules apply in helping to guide you when making these choices.

For me, this is also complicated by the fact that I am color blind in several color ranges.

I have to rely on my instincts along with the studying of various hues, textures, densities, and patterns taking into consideration the relationship to the setting they are going to be used in.

This is easier said than done. I find my self second guessing my choices all the time.

Eventually, you have to make decisions and move on.

I selected eight different primary colors along with four possible alternates to choose from.



My preference is to lay these various colors choices using the actual pieces of glass that I plan on cutting out for the panel.

While building the frame and setting up the rest of my board, I layout and move these various pieces of glass in that are of varying colors into several different combinations.

Often this takes time to find the exact combinations that you like and want for the final pieces to be used in the panel.

Glass, like wood, needs to find its place in your heart, as well as a place in your project.

Admittedly, I know what I don't like or won't work more often than what works.

More often than not I feel a sense of restlessness with my choices.

The single most important factor in making my final choices is very simple.

That is, I ask my self one question.

Is it interesting to look at?

It is that simple!

After that, it is up to others to decide and answer that one simple question.

Is it interesting?

 
#49 ·
The Project;



Finally I was able to get down to the actual building of the stained glass piece. The drawing had been completed and copies had been made of the cartoon so I could cut out the patterns which I would use to cut the glass. I also made a pattern which provides a guide for laying out the individual pieces of glass when cut and ground to size.

The best way to describe this is to look at the pattern as the "template" or blueprint for the pieces of glass that will form the final piece. It is just like putting a jigsaw puzzle together.

After applying contact paper to cover one of the copies of the cartoon and placing it on the board that I use as a jig to assemble the glass, I am ready to cut the zinc that will be used as the outside frame. The reason for covering the copy of the cartoon with contact paper is that after grinding the glass, water and sediment from the glass can ruin the pattern in short order. I learned this the hard way.

This also will protect the cartoon when soldering the panel up during final assembly.



I then began cutting the zinc that will be used for the frame. Like woodworking, this part, although simple, has to be accurate and square. If the frame varies at all, you will fight the fitting and assembly every of the way to the final completion.



The margin for error is less forgiving with glass than wood. The main reason for this is the nature of glass in lead. The lead, known as Lead Came, forms channels that have to fit exactly, or there will be gaps that will show through the cartoon and look like a "hole". These holes stand out like a carpenter's sore thumb, or worse yet, the glass will fall out.



One of the unique properties of Lead Came is, as a metal it is the only metal that will expand over the life of it but will not contract. This poses some very challenging design considerations. Lead comes in six foot sections and various withes. Lead has to be stretched prior to use. This process of pulling and stretching the lead roughly two inches causes the lead to become rigid and puts tensile strength into the lead.

The end result is a piece of lead that can be formed and cut to fit the glass.

The nature of stained glass work parallels a lot of woodworking. That is, accuracy is very important and the margin of error very small. However, stained glass with its fragile and ridged properties it is less forgiving. Overall, I find this to be one of the biggest challenges; constantly keeping tolerances within acceptable limits.

For example, whom amongst us hasn't had to get the "wood stretcher" out and make a repair. There are far more ways to repair "oops" in woodworking than in stained glass.

No such luck with glass. Once glass is cut its cut. Glass is unforgiving and fragile.

One other major difference in working with glass is the total unpredictability of what it will do or what will happen when it is scored broken into smaller individual pieces that become part of your cartoon.

To begin with, every piece of glass is tempered differently. To add insult to injury there are several textures, natural flaws, man made designs and intentions added to the glass to achieve the desired result. Every piece of glass is one of a kind; the "hues", patterns, colors and appearance will vary slightly.

I have learned to "buy enough" to allow for at least a 25 percent breakage factor plus extra, so if called upon, I still have the original run available to make repairs at a later date.

Due to the volume of glass I do, it has forced me to have a good recording system and ample storage for the extra glass. Over time, this can become very expensive, thus if possible I try choosing glass that is readily available and where small variations won't matter.

Compared to the investment required for woodworking, the tools used in stained glass making are really very inexpensive. Of course like any craft one can spend a large sum on money for things like kilns, special equipment, and inventory. As a general rule, one would be well equipped for an expenditure of less than two hundred dollars. With the tools that this money would buy, one could pretty much build anything. Although, certainly, the lead came, solder, flux, and of course the glass itself can add several hundred dollars to the cost very quickly.

My tool investment is relatively small but I have a substantial investment in inventory. Certainly, a well lit comfortable work area or shop is desirable.

For the most part, the tools I use today are the same as those used hundreds of years ago. Some things just don't change nor can be improved upon.



One of the questions I frequently get is, "Do you have a band saw that you use to cut the glass?"



The short answer to this is, no. The truth is, I have two band saws; for the most part they are worthless.

They are not only cumbersome, slow, and of very limited use and mobility when cutting curves or elaborate designs, but they are time consuming to set up and expensive to maintain.

The diamond blades are outrageous in their cost.

By nature, it is hard to keep the blade aligned in these saws. They are in constant need of adjustment and attention. The machine sellers would tell you different, but most of the old master crafts people I know feel the same way about them as I do.

Never-the-less, I have to admit that when it comes to complicated cuts with only a very limited amount of a particular glass or especially on any repair jobs where the glass is no longer available, then the band saw really does minimize your changes of breakage.

However, over all it won't save you much labor. After one becomes proficient with this craft one can work extremely fast by hand. With experience ones accuracy improves.

This argument is the same one we hear in the woodworking fraternity when it comes to hand verse power tools. The main difference is, in glass work, rarely is mass production a desired result.
One factor to consider is, labor in glass work is accepted and understood to be a large part of the cost. In woodworking labor costs need to be held more in line with the overall project size and value.

Similarly to a lot of woodworking, I cut out and use patterns. If I have a cartoon with several pieces and a lot of curves or varied cuts, I immediately cut out a pattern from my original drawing and use it to trace the pattern onto the glass. Once that is complete, I cut the piece out using the hand glass cutter.



The next several hours consisted of the same routine of copying the pattern onto the glass and rough cutting the glass to size which later will be ground to final tolerance and fitting. Most often these days I skip the "tracing step" and use the cartoon pattern and cut my glass "live" with my glass cutter with out drawing or tracing the cartoon piece.



Of course this took a lot of practice to get to this stage. I wouldn't necessary recommend this to others with out ample experience. The price of glass makes this almost prohibitive anyways. However it really can speed up the project eliminating a complete step.

There are several ways to do stained glass fitting and over time every one develops their own preferred methods. I like to rough cut all of my pieces first then come back and do a final grind and fit to the lead came as I assemble the cartoon. I have found this to be the most efficient way to progress the project and help break the monotony of the repetitive tasks involve.

Without a doubt, learning the stained glass craft has taught me patience. By nature I am a restless and impatient person. I tend to be very production oriented. There is no such thing when doing stained glass work. It can be very tedious and requires a lot of attention to detail.

I took a lesson directly from nature. That is she is a very patience person. Let things evolve as they are or will be with out pushing them and they well turn out just fine.

I find that both stained glass and woodworking are very complementary to one another in teaching new skills that can be used in either craft for their betterment.

Like any craft, the more you do or practice and learn about the craft, the better one becomes. Stained glass is no exception.

Anyone can do stained glass; I am a living example of this as I am with woodworking. All either requires is an investment of time and a willingness to learn the craft using whatever means and tools are available.

Then practice!

It really is that simple.

This project to commemorate Mark certainly could be done by any number of others. I am humbled to be able to share in a small part of this project.

Due to the holidays and little or no distractions because of this time of the year and having extra time off from work I was able to make a lot of progress on the project.

I was very aware of the task at hand and quite frankly feeling very inadequate and a bit overwhelmed. Doing the best I could, I simply wanted to produce a tribute worthy of Mark's memory. Although I was somewhat concerned that I would fall short of this goal I moved forward. My passion and commitment to do my best poured from my heart.

I couldn't allow myself to become overwhelmed with the task at hand and relied on the constant encouragement of those around me and the fellow Lumberjocks who were part of this project.

I don't claim to be an 'artist" and have not had any formal training in art. Therefore, I feel very inadequate whenever I create any project. This feeling is prevalent regardless whether it is woodworking, remodeling or a stained glass project.

One thing that comforts me somewhat is when I talk to real "artists", is I am surprised how many of these "artists" have confessed having the same feelings of "inadequacy". I admit, I also am a perfectionist and my own worst critic. However I don't feel so alone when I hear they also suffer from anxiety and feeling rather insecure about there work.

No doubt, some of my feeling of inadequacy comes from the self-consciousness I feel about having only one functional hand. This was the result of a serious construction accident I had culminating in several surgeries but never really rectifying the condition of my hand. Although I no longer allow myself to feel self pity, this embarrassment is still deep-routed in my psyche. Never-the-less, I have made great strides overcoming a number of obstacles over time. I have accepted this will be a life long journey. I simply try taking it one step, one day and one project at a time.

One thing I can say is that I have never given up. Despite arthritis pain, a build up of scare tissue, and hyper sensitivity to the hand, I have found the strength to keep doing what I love. I plan on doing so until I can't possibly continue. I practice my crafts like there may be no tomorrow, because that is reality - we have no assurance of tomorrow. I don't want to someday find myself looking back with regrets about what might have been had I…

I had been working virtually non stop for over 14 hours. I was exhausted and ready to quit for the day.



Karson had called me and asked if I could send a picture to him of the dove that I had drawn and was going to be used as the center piece to this project.





I cut the dove out and added a note and gladly sent him a picture not completely sure what his intention was for this request. I was sure what ever it was it would be awesome.

I had serious doubts about how the project would be received now that I was nearing the end if the rough fit and was ready to start the final fit and assembly.

I quit for the day.

Doubts lingered, I really needed sleep but was worried how the project would be received when I mailed the progress pictures.

I would know soon enough, for now I needed sleep.



**
 
#64 ·
The Final Project, Handing it off to Karson...



Totally exhausted the previous evening and before I headed to bed I had taken some pictures and emailed a progress report to Karson, asking him to be kind in his criticism. It had been a long day.

The next morning I called Karson and his wonderful wife Linda answered the phone. She was so kind and supportive of the project. Karson had showed her the pictures along with a few other people. They all were encouraging and supportive.

That certainly made it easier to start the task of final fitting the next day. They will never know how that gave me the jump start I needed. Those encouraging works gave me my fuel to propel forward with the final phase of the project.

I had run out of gas, and now my tank was full again.

The final fitting of any panel is always a crap shoot. It can vary with every project. Each has its own personality. What I mean by this is, one never knows until the work is started as to how the final fit will go. Some projects have to be fought every inch while others seem to assemble themselves. Worse yet, there is no way to determine which project will "act" in a certain way.

Welcome to the craft of stained glass.

There is no set way one can predict how long any given project with take.

I have come up with and use as a general guideline which only gives me a rough estimate of determine how long a project should take. This guideline can vary considerably however I have found this to be helpful with planning. I usually count up all the pieces and add one hour for every piece. This comes close to the time required for cutting, layout, assembly, and welding, soldering and final finish. Of course, any design work and anything else you do outside of actual construction add to the overall time.

There are forty seven pieces in this project. I was keeping a daily journal of not only my personal experiences I was tracking my time to test the theory and accuracy of my formula. Thus far I had sixty three hours involved. This confirmed and seemed to be right on track for my estimate as to how long it would take.

Regardless, time was irrelevant to me. If it would of taken five years to build I would of did it. Mark would in my mind protest all the fuss, however he deserved so much more than I could possible do for him and his family.

I was trying my best. In the end that is all he ever wanted from himself and other Lumberjocks as he gently coached them and provided his encouraging words and greetings as Lumberjocks ambassador.

I always thought as a early member he set the tone for this community which continues today of which is referred to often.

I was well aware of needing to move the project forward and take advantage of the time I had off for the holidays. I knew this project had to be timely and moved from idea to completion as quickly as possible, because of the nature of the memorial and the fact Karson also needed time to build and fit the frame.

I still was working two jobs and knew my time would be limited after the holidays.



I got up early the following morning and began the tedious job of grinding and fitting stained glass. Grinding is akin to sanding. It has to be done but is often tedious and certainly not my favorite part of the project. However like sanding can make or break the appearence of a project, grinding the glass to fit will determine a lot of the appearance and outcome of the project.



For the most part this panel went together like most do that have a lot of curves. In other words, it pretty much was a fight all the way.





That is one of the traits of stained glass, you can't be impatience and it will take whatever time it takes regardless of the urgency. I worked 15 hours straight and finally finished my last piece at 9 pm that evening.



Exhausted, I quit for the day. I sent updates to Karson, feeling unsure of how the project would be received. I was concerned that it might fall far short of expectations. I knew I had put my heart and passion into this project, but I didn't know if that would be enough to carry it.



Time would tell.

I hit the send button and took a shower before getting some rest.

I knew that another long day was awaiting me the next day when I would begin welding and soldering up the project.



I awoke early, ready to start soldering the panel. I couldn't wait to get started, but I really found myself struggling with thoughts about the adequacy of this memorial project for a wonderful man like Mark.

I had to stay focused which wasn't always easy.

In my heart of hearts, I struggled with the feeling that this project was in no way worthy of what Mark has represented to so many others. However, I was comfortable with the passion and pure desire of my heart in trying to convey my sincere feeling about how much he meant to so many of us. I simply had to accept that Mark would know our intentions and being the humble man he was, understand.

I was then able to move forward.

I began welding the panel and completed that part of the project several hours later.



Again, exhausted, I took progress pictures, e-mail an update to Karson and quit for the day.

I then answered several messages from other Lumberjocks who were involved in trying to come up with ideas how we could make this an ongoing way to memorialize Mark, as well as to continue into the future benefiting the Lumberjocks site.

The logistics for this were being refined and now all that had to be done was to approach Martin.

MsDebbieP had been involved with the ongoing discussion all along and would be our sounding board and logical liaison person to approach Martin with this idea. This she did obtaining Martin's commitment to take this idea under consideration, promising to get back to us in a few days with his response.

During this period there was uncertainty and a lot of anxiety. I knew this would be a difficult decision and needed to be a well thought out process for Martin. His integrity and reputation is at stake and he would have to carefully consider all sides.

Regardless, we moved ahead on the project because whatever Martins decision, I had decided I would take the project and sell it if needed and donate to Lumberjocks anonymously in Marks name.

I sincerely hoped Martin would allow us to use the ideas we had as an ongoing way to memorialize others in the future.

I got home from my early morning job and found a message from MsDebbieP. Simply stating, we had the green light from Martin and his outline about how he wanted it handled. It had to be done with integrity, sensitivity and safeguards.

I was relieved that all these issues were resolved and the concept would become part of Lumberjocks.

I went back to work on the project. My Christmas and New Years break was beginning to run short and I knew I soon had to return to work and wouldn't have a lot of time to work on the project.

I finished up the project and was planning to ship it out Saturday January 5, 2008.

A good friend of mine, who lived four doors down the street from me, had been following this project with interest. He was the person who had bought and helped with the "This Old Mold House" project. Although not a Lumberjock himself, he was very aware of several of the projects and various Lumberjocks that I had been keeping in touch with over the last year.

He was very taken back and had been touched from all the outpouring of the Lumberjocks regarding the passing of Mark. He was very aware of this project being a memorial for Mark.



I had completed the stained glass panel and had it sitting on my work bench drying from being cemented which gives the panel its rigidity and lasting protection. All that remained now was the shipping. He had occasion to visit me and inquired how I planed on shipping the piece. I told him I wasn't sure yet I needed to contact Karson.

He then offered to pay for the shipping as his small gesture towards the memorial because he was so taken back by the Lumberjocks genuine outpouring of support for this memorial.

He stared at the panel and the pictures of Karson's frame in awe of his work. He was truly touched.

Working for a major airline, he has an employee benefit that allows substantial discounts for shipping with FedEx. As his small jester towards this project, he insisted that he pay the shipping cost and wouldn't take no for an answer.

We agreed to meet the next morning take the panel to FedEx Kinko's for final shipment. I prepared the documents for shipment. This at MsDebbieP urging would include a signed drawing. I decided to include the signed original drawing with the panel. This was done so whoever won the drawing would have the one and only drawing of this project.

In my mind, there was only one Mark. I felt this was a fitting tribute to him.



I built a packing crate out of ¼ inch oak paneling that had a heavy duty oak frame.



I enclosed a few other small things and a final farewell I had written to Mark as a memory and closed the case.



This was a very emotional moment for me. Tears streamed down my cheek as I closed the shipping case I realized I was saying good bye to Mark for the last time.

I stood in silence staring at the crate with Marks memory panel inside. I stood and reflected for a few minutes until my friend arrived to take me to FedEx Kinko's.

He picked me up at two thirty to go to FedEx Kinko's. I felt a sense of relief that that project was done. I wanted the project to be done in a timely fashion and to allow ample time for Karson to prepare his frame. I was happy to have taken part of this memorial project and excited to be shipping the project that day.

The ride was a quiet one; my friend sensed my somber mood.

FedEx Kinko's is about 10 miles from my home. Half way there he broke the silence and asked where we were sending the panel. At that moment it hit me like falling rain, I didn't have the address with me.

I felt so stupid. I confessed this and offered my apologies to him. We turned around to go back home to get the address. He never said a word he seemed to understand.

I felt relieved. It occurred me to I was struggling to let go of Mark.

I guess I was, even though I knew he was in a much better place in my mind.

We had already missed the FedEx pickup for that day, so the project wouldn't go out until Monday morning. Therefore, we decided to ship it second day air.

I watched as the attendant packed the crate. I insisted several times that he include more packing material and be careful with this panel as it was fragile and special.

He looked at me like "Dude I do this for a living, get off my back". Although he was professional I was going to err on the safe side and be over cautious. He seemed annoyed at all the fuss.

My buddy filled out the shipping documents, we paid and left.

I then went home and e-mailed Karson all the shipping details. I had been feeling under the weather and frankly was exhausted from all the hours I had spent in the shop so I decided to take a nap and prepare myself mentally to return to work the next day.

What a drag this would be and how I was dreading this after such a nice long stretch off work.

Monday morning came and back to the grind. I was still feeling a bit under the weather and awoke felling tired. I called Karson and told him about the shipping and to watch for the package.

I was swamped at work all day so the just day shot by. My phone rang at five thirty in the afternoon. I was still in my office. It was my mother. My father had had a bad accident and had fallen off the roof while raking snow. He had been taken to the hospital via ambulance and was being stabilized for transport to a much larger trauma-two hospital.

I knew things weren't good. All I could do was to wait, pray and hope. I did a lot of praying, waiting for any word of his condition.

I got a call that he would be transferred to another hospital and as soon as they knew anything they would call me.

I never slept another wink that night.

After a sleepless night in bed, I went to work. It was all I could do until they called. I was unable to be with him because of the distance and the fact that they wouldn't allow anyone, not even immediate family, to accompany the transfer. At that point, the final destination had not even been decided.

In short, I was a wreck inside but somehow held my composure. I felt so helpless and vulnerable.

Silence and prayers were my only comfort. All I had to do was wait for word.

And wait some more.

The phone rang. It was my sister. She updated me on dad's condition. It didn't sound good.

I called my brother and we made arrangements to meet and drive up to the hospital. They said we could see my father after one o'clock and would be allowed five minutes an hour to visit.

My brother and I met in a nearby town on the way. We pretty much sat in silence the whole trip to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital parking lot and were walking up to the main entry when I noticed I had missed a phone call. It was Karson. He had just called one minute before. I hadn't even heard the phone ring.

He had left a message, but I didn't take time to listen to it. I called him back directly because my cell said "missed call Karson".

I called him right back to give him an update. I hadn't seen my father yet, and didn't know what to expect other than I had been informed he had several broken bones.

He listened as I updated him on what I had been told about dad's condition as I walked towards the front door of the hospital.

He was very subdued and tried to comfort me. He also had news for me. The news wasn't good.

At that moment, I stood at the front door frozen and numb. Helpless, I responded the best I could at the time.

I remember saying two things. One of which was, "Oh no!"

That response somehow seemed so inadequate.

This was a very familiar feeling for me at this moment. Suddenly I went numb from disbelief! I was overwhelmed at this moment which coincided with my sister greeting me at the front door at the hospital.

She didn't look good, nor did I at that moment, I'm sure.

I said goodbye to Karson, and took my sisters hand, as we walked she talked, with tears running down her cheek.

As were mine.

To be continued here
 
#76 ·
Fractures, Glass and Bones; lead to new beginnings...

The irony of it all was; all I could concentrate on was my current situation. That was the fact that my father was in Intensive Care fighting for his life.

My sister walked with me down the hall to the ICU unit in the hospital to see my father for the first time since his accident the day before. As best she could, she had tried to prepared me for what I was about to see.



He had several broken bones and to make matters worse a face full of stitches and two black eyes.

I had just got off the phone with Karson.

That news he had called me with wasn't much better.



Marks memorial, "The Heavenly Flight", had arrived shattered and broken. Several pieces of glass were cracked, fractured, broken or had just fallen out.

I remember saying while I still had him on the phone, "Oh no! Well I'll just have to build a new one".

Not only did I face time constraints, I was sure that I would run short of the specific glass I had chosen for Mark's memorial. Also, I had shipped the one and only and original drawing to Karson.



Karson understood, and agreed to ship the original drawing back.

Because of all that was going on at the time and the fact I was standing outside my father's room it's all a bit of a blur now.

I told Karson that I would likely be making a new panel rather than attempting to repair the damaged one. Considering the time that it would take to return the panel, and the likely shortage of glass, there comes a point in repairing stained glass windows where the time to do so, exceeds that of building a new one.

Although I had insured the panel for the cost of the materials, I knew that there would likely be a lengthy insurance claim process. I didn't want to delay the memorial project because I felt a timely memorial was important.

The remainder of my day was an emotional roller coaster. The doctors and staff had prepared us for the worse regarding my father. We all hoped for the best but were preparing for the worse. Each family member was only allowed five minutes with dad. We also needed to limit the total amount of time. The time had finally come for each of us to say our goodbyes; we had no idea if this goodbye was for the day or forever.

This moment will never be forgotten and is etched in my mind and remains as fresh and raw today as it was at that time.

I walked alone down the hall as the rest of my family said goodbye. I found a empty seat off to the side in the hallway and sat down. The tears started to roll off my face, like rain off a hard road surface.

Both my father and the memorial piece lay fractured and broken. I saw some irony in this. The combined affect had extracted its toll. I was drained. All I could do was pray for my dad, and go home and rebuild another memorial, but I knew I was helpless to rebuild my father.

The trip home with my brother was almost in complete silence.

I needed to go home and start on the project for my own peace-of-mind and what I hoped would be a symbol of my father's resurrection.

The only question was, could they both be saved, the panel that lay in Karson's shop and my father who lay in the intensive care unit of the hospital. I had no idea the outcome of either. I would do what was in my control to assure the outcome of the memorial panel. My father's restoration was in much better and talented hands than mine.

That thought gave me some comfort.

I arrived home and looked at the pictures that Karson had emailed me showing the shipping damage to the panel. There was no question in my mind that that the only real option in the time we had available was to completely rebuild the piece.

This meant starting over from scratch. I knew this would be challenging, however I was ready to take this challenge head on.

The first obstacle to over come was to call Karson and have him ship back the original drawing so I could start over on the new piece. The fact that this would take a few days weighed heavy on my mind. I wanted to get started as soon as possible.

I needed to for my own sanity. I had to keep my mind occupied on something besides my fathers condition.

In the back of my mind was another worry. I was very aware that I would be short glass to rebuild the same piece. One of the problems with building original pieces is just this. I had enough glass for the first piece and some excess for minor repairs at best.



I had chosen some very special and unique glass for the memorial piece. All the glass chosen had either a very special story behind it or a special meaning.

The majority of the glass, the portion making up the main theme of the panel, had come from glass salvaged from a very famous church. The more I looked at my existing inventory the more apparent it became how short I would be.



I had a picture of the final project on my computer. I pulled the picture up and displayed it on my laptop. It became very evident that I would run short of one of the primary pieces of glass that I used for the rays as well as some of the other key pieces in the project.

The more I studied the project, the more convinced I was that the glass shortage would force me to redesign and redraw a lot of the project. Because Karson had the original and time was of the essence, I decided to redesign and draw a new panel and cartoon.



I just started drawing again.

I had sent Karson several pictures of the first panel and one of them showed the project with light shining through the panel from my light box. He made a comment at the time, "that really looks like clouds behind the dove". I pointed out that it really was the light that he was seeing shining through the panel.



I remembered this comment and felt this time around, as long as I had to redesign and redraw the project, I would try hard to make the background behind the Dove look more like a "hole in the sky" and "live clouds".

It is not uncommon for me when I build furniture, especially when it's something new or a bit more complicated, to build a prototype. I find this very helpful and a good way to make changes before I build the final project.

In stained glass work this is much more difficult, not only because of the much higher cost of the glass but also the time it takes. Once the glass is cut and used in a piece it is, for all practical purposes, not able to be used for anything else.



Utilizing the existing resources and time I had to complete this project, I made several small changes to the project and drawing, keeping as close to the original theme and drawing as I possibly could.

I really hoped the new panel would be at least as good as the first one. I wasn't at all sure and was feeling quite anxious about this. Never-the-less, I moved ahead with the project.

Before long I had a new cartoon redrawn and transferred to the old cartoon that was used when fitting the previous panel. This was no easy task. I knew that each and every piece would now have to be cut without a pattern and with only a rough guild from my new print. Without "a blue print" to follow, each piece would have to be custom fit and ground. This is not the preferred way to do any cartoon because of all the variables. It tends to cause fitting problems and can add hours to the final assembly.

However, I simply had no choice and was committed to rebuilding a new piece and getting the project back on-track. Although I was well aware of the work that was ahead of me, it was irrelevant. I was determined to finish this, whatever it was going to take.







I worked on the new panel almost non-stop for two and a half days. Each step of the way was like being in the dark. Without a set of "plans", patterns and a scale cartoon I was left to mostly hand fitting.

Perhaps a better way to describe this process is to think of a project like building a hutch without any plans, dimensions, scales, pictures or notes. Imagine starting out from scratch and building this to its completion.



To say this was a challenge is a understatement. The good news for me was that I had designed, drawn and built the first piece, so I knew what I wanted. It helps to be able to visualize the end results.



I kept Karson and a few others informed about the progress. However, I had really restricted my pictures and new design to only a few people. Frankly, I wasn't sure if it would turn out or even work, let alone how it would compare to the first panel.

In the meantime, I had received several pictures and updates of the frame Karson had designed and built. There was no way I could describe what he had done. Words simply escaped me to describe what the frame looked like and what a beautiful and creative job he had done.



I really began to feel very self conspicuous about the new project piece and was worried that it would fall far short of expectations.

Never-the-less, I forged ahead the best I could with the panel. I finished the total project in a little over four days.

I emailed Karson the final pictures and hoped that he would approve.

Only time would tell, what his reaction and that of others would be. For the time-being, all I could do was hope and pray.

Considering the fragile status of my dad who was still in the hospital, this was a very familiar feeling.

Once again I couldn't help but think about the irony.

Some things, particularly when they are fragile, are better just left alone.

Leaving his care in the hands of other people, I had to trust the outcome. I would have to do the same with this memorial project for Mark; trust that others would see the caring that all of LumberJocks had placed in this project.

Only time would reveal the result, for now I had to let go.





 
#99 ·
Karson's Dove Inlay Frame Arrives...The mounting and assembly is completed before the final drawing.



Karson finished his frame and posted his blog detailing how he built this project.

When we first started talking about this memorial for Mark we were kicking around various ideas for the project and frame. Karson called me ; Quote "I called Dusty, he wasn't any help at all. He said whatever you create will be great. So it was back in my court again."

For the record; telling Karson how or what to build would be like trying to tell Tiger Woods how to golf or Sam Maloof how to build rocking chairs.

Nice try Karson, but that didn't wasn't going to work. I knew better.

To illustrate my point further his blog stated ; Quote " I was overwhelmed with their support in suggesting that I do that. I mean I've never created a picture frame in my life. I made a backing that my wife and I used to stretch some fabric over as a picture. But that was pine and no one saw it.

My point is; the sign of a true craftsman and the spirit of a Lumberjock and woodworker is to challenge yourself while practicing your craft . You not only come up with a practical solution but a final piece that is not only a work of art, it is a stunning piece of craftsmanship.



Karson's frame is a testimonial to this and serves as a fine example of challenging ones self to get out side of our comfort zone in our craft and to create something extraordinary that we never felt we could or had ever done before.



That is what Lumberjocks is about, to inspire, challenge and share with others what our passions are and where they might take us while we are practicing our woodworking and various other crafts.

I would like to point out after the sent the first stained glass panel to Karson, which arrived shattered from shipping we decided in the interest of time Karson would built the frame from my verbal measurements of a panel that had not been built yet.

It was then agreed I would build the piece and he would build and send the frame to me when completed. We both felt the less shipping the better considering the problems we had shipping it the first time.

By the looks of the shipping box and packing Karson did on the second panel he was not taking any chances. He could of shipped the queens crown and jewels in this crate.

Lessons learned for sure!



The frame arrived and I assembled and installed it on to the final stain glass panel . The frame fit like a fine leather glove.



A truly professional piece of work. Only minor tweaking was needed.

The mark of any master craftsman is to be able to build things from scratch, with out any plans , vague instructions and only the final dimensions, which resulted in having the final piece fit like it was all built at the same time.

True craftsmanship!

My hats off to Karson and his talent he has and uses in practicing his passion and craft of woodworking.

That said, I invite you to see the final project entitled " Marks Heavenly Flight ".



I also ask that you consider making a donation here, which enters you into the drawing that Martin be conducting at random a drawing in order to win this piece.

I have no doubt that by supporting this web site, this would please Mark, who this simple memorial is for.

I am sure he is smiling from Heaven as he sees this community stay together and continue to grow.
 
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