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Random Thoughts and Ideas #5: Things You'll Never Hear a Woodworker Say

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Blog entry by DamnYankee posted 581 days ago 889 reads 0 times favorited 13 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 4: Survey: How Many LJs are Serving, or have Served in the Military Part 5 of Random Thoughts and Ideas series no next part

Yesterday evening at our annual woodworkers club dinner one of the guys said something none of us thought we’d ever hear “I have too many clamps already” (the guy had won a clamp in the raffle).

This got us thinking of those thing you’ll never hear (or should never hear) a woodworker say

+ My shop is too big / If only my shop were smaller!
+ My chisels/planes/guages are too sharp
+ I spend too much time in my shop
+ My wife loves it when I buy tools.
+ I have to much stock.
+ I wish CL and eBay would stop selling tools.
+ I think I will get rid of all these scraps.
+ I think I will go furniture shopping at Wallmart.
+ I have every tool/machine that I’ll ever need!
+ Thanks for offering the free exotics, but no thank you. I have enough!!!

What others do you have?

*Note – some of the above I got from fellow LJs on Stumpy’s thread

-- Shameless - Winner of two Stumpy Nubs Awards



13 comments so far

View DIYaholic's profile

DIYaholic

12884 posts in 1272 days


#1 posted 581 days ago

What! Take the day off of “work” and play in the wood shop, NO WAY!!!

-- Randy-- I may not be good...but I am slow! If good things come to those who wait.... Why is procratination a bad thing?

View pendledad's profile

pendledad

189 posts in 686 days


#2 posted 581 days ago

My bench is fine, I don’t want to make a new one.

I like sanding, I find it relaxing.

I don’t need any more clamps for Christmas.

I’m not picking through that construction dumpster to get those scraps.

IKEA makes great furniture.

View Dan Lyke's profile

Dan Lyke

1468 posts in 2722 days


#3 posted 581 days ago

I dunno about that “My wife loves it when I buy tools.” statement. Two that I’ve heard from her: “We’re not leaving this Woodcraft without a Domino and a planer, now will the 735 work for us?” and, when she heard me swearing at a tool, “Doesn’t Festool make a version of that we could get?”

Other than that you’re dead on.

-- Dan Lyke, Petaluma California, http://www.flutterby.net/User:DanLyke

View Pop's profile

Pop

419 posts in 2543 days


#4 posted 581 days ago

From when I worked in a woodworking store. This is the one every woodworker wishes he could hear.
“You’re wife called and said get whatever you need.”

Pop Golden

-- One who works with his hands is a laborer, his hands & head A craftsman, his hands, head & heart a artist

View DamnYankee's profile

DamnYankee

3233 posts in 1159 days


#5 posted 581 days ago

Dan – I think I can speak for the majority of us, you are the exception not the rule, either that or you heard it in your dreams :)

-- Shameless - Winner of two Stumpy Nubs Awards

View DamnYankee's profile

DamnYankee

3233 posts in 1159 days


#6 posted 581 days ago

Dan – I think I can speak for the majority of us, you are the exception not the rule, either that or you heard it in your dreams :)

-- Shameless - Winner of two Stumpy Nubs Awards

View Dan Lyke's profile

Dan Lyke

1468 posts in 2722 days


#7 posted 581 days ago

DYankee, she works with me on projects. Yeah, I lucked out.

-- Dan Lyke, Petaluma California, http://www.flutterby.net/User:DanLyke

View Manitario's profile

Manitario

2255 posts in 1480 days


#8 posted 581 days ago

Dan, does she have a sister??? Actually, I shouldn’t complain, my wife lets me buy whatever I want, as long as it comes out of my own money…

-- Sometimes the creative process requires foul language. -- Charles Neil

View Sandra's profile

Sandra

4131 posts in 672 days


#9 posted 581 days ago

What you won’t hear this woodworker say:

“No dear, I really don’t mind you interrupting my shop time because you can’t find the ketchup.”
“Honestly, I don’t mind the girly calendar you insist putting in the garage so that you appear more studly”
“Here, use another chisel to pry that paint can open”

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View Cosmicsniper's profile

Cosmicsniper

2199 posts in 1755 days


#10 posted 581 days ago

“Sure, dear, call it a garage because that’s what it was designed to be.”

“Crap, I have ten routers…surely that’s a mistake!”

“My air compressor sounds a lot like Mozart to my ears.”

“God gave us 10 fingers for a reason…I can function just fine with 9…screw SawStop.”

“Who the hell is Norm Abram?”

“Nah, I only have to measure ONCE before I cut it.”

“F-yeah. I luvz me some L’il Wayne when I cutz me sum toothpicks, yo!”

-- jay, www.allaboutastro.com

View Roger's profile

Roger

14098 posts in 1401 days


#11 posted 581 days ago

+ hand me that welder
+ you don’t need any safety glasses
+ throw that dust mask away
+ hearing protection…...... HUH! don’t need it
+ plug in the table saw so I can change the blade
+ hold this board while I route a dado in it
+ Lets drink a case o beer, and build somethin
+ just set your cold drink on my table saw.
Thats all I can think of at the moment… LOL

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Kentuk55@bellsouth.net

View bladedust's profile

bladedust

168 posts in 863 days


#12 posted 581 days ago

“the project came out exactly as I expected”

” the project is flawless, everything fit perfectly the first time”

“I completed the project without a single mistake or mishap”

That last one has me rolling on the floor laughing.

-- ok, is it cut once measure twice, cut twice measure once???? I know....I'll just keep cutting until it's long enough.

View Dave's profile

Dave

11141 posts in 1437 days


#13 posted 580 days ago

I love to watch finish dry.
Honey bring the girls out to the shop and we will have tea
Sharpening is such a joy.
rust adds such a wonderful color to my tools

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are." http://chiselandforge.com

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