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Never Never Never woodwork in anger.

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Blog entry by Andraxia posted 01-05-2009 06:42 AM 1145 reads 0 times favorited 12 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Okay sorry there is no photos with this blog and I am just blowing off steam but the advice is valid.

I recently discovered that a close friend’s husband had been beating his wife for years. Never on the face always where it could be covered up. Well three days ago it went too far and she was taken to hospital with a broken ankle. She had put my name down as next of kin and had taken a taxi there herself. The hospital called me as she needed someone.

Well I shot up there and soon discovered that he had hit her in the back and she had fallen and broken her ankle. Later on after spending the better part of a night there it slowly all came to the surface that he had been doing it for about three and a half years. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she didn’t know. Then I broached the possibility of pressing charges and she went into total denial saying “it is okay he wont do it again and he loves me”. Despite my urging I eventually dropped her back home where ‘mr innocent’ came to the door worried – if he was so &^#@% worried about her why did he not go to the hospital?

Anyhow I managed to get home about 7am really tired but also so damned angry I knew I could not sleep/rest. So I thought I would go into the workshop and do some turning. It always relaxes me and, usually, something good is made in the end.

There I was turning away when wham into the abdomen the work peace hit me. Doubled over in pain I sat down. It seams in my anger my mind was not concentrating on the simple things like locking the tail stock to the lathe bed properly.

So now I am sporting a decent bruse (3”x2”) and trying to decide if I am more angry at myself or my friend.

Morel of the story – “Don’t woodwork in anger!”

-- The wood slayer - Yes dear I did plan to make more kindling out of that wood I have been drying for the last year - honest!



12 comments so far

View dennis mitchell's profile

dennis mitchell

3994 posts in 2968 days


#1 posted 01-05-2009 06:56 AM

Sorry to hear your story. Really sorry that I have too hear it again and again. Maybe something would change if we decided it was at least as importian as the change to digital TV. We sure got our priorities screwed up.

View Sef's profile

Sef

114 posts in 2305 days


#2 posted 01-05-2009 07:03 AM

Glad the damage wasn’t worse, for you and your friend. Hopefully she’ll come around before it’s too late. I learned that anger + woodworking = danger lesson early on. I have long forgotten what had me pissed at the time, but I’ll never forget the tablesaw throwing wood into my chest. Luckily I had on some layers in a cold basement, and the piece was small and light. Still scared the piss out of me, and left a colorful reminder for a while. We all have to remember to focus on what we’re doing when working with ANY tools.

-- I may not know a lot, but at least I know that I don't know.?.?. I think. http://chathampenworks.com/

View lew's profile

lew

10031 posts in 2409 days


#3 posted 01-05-2009 07:41 AM

Andraxia,

It’s good to know that your injuries were minor, it could have been a lot worse.

As for your friend, she will need you to be there and not judge her decisions. There are organizations that can offer her help but it appears she is not ready for this, yet. Educating yourself to be ready to offer her help/suggestions is about all you can do, at this point. Pray that she sees the hopelessness of her situation and makes the decision to be safe.

Lew

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View oldskoolmodder's profile

oldskoolmodder

761 posts in 2334 days


#4 posted 01-05-2009 08:24 AM

It’s not just an anger thing, you can’t or shouldn’t allow yourself to use the machines, when you have tons of things on your mind, or even just a few things that could distract you and take you away for that fleeting moment. A split second of distraction can cause any amount of damage.

-- Respect your shop tools and they will respect you - Ric

View Rob Drown's profile

Rob Drown

724 posts in 2487 days


#5 posted 01-05-2009 08:28 AM

You are a brave lady. It is right to be angry that a friend is being beaten and will be again. Yea, stay away from power tools when you are upset, really tired or had just one glass of wine.

We’ll be praying for you and your friend!!

-- The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. Confucius, 经过艰苦的努力的梦想可以成真

View woodspyder's profile

woodspyder

80 posts in 2284 days


#6 posted 01-05-2009 08:58 AM

I think you should calmly go in your shop. And calmly pick out a really nice peice of hardwood. And then calmly turn the nicest baseball bat you can calmly make. Then calmly allow your friend to beat her husbands a$$ off of his back. Preferably while he’s asleep so he too can be calm.

The only thing worse than a wife beater is a child molester. And they should have a hole cut in their scrotum, then pull their leg up through the hole.

Sorry!!
Did I type all that out loud?

-- Measure three times, cut twice.

View Dick, & Barb Cain's profile

Dick, & Barb Cain

8693 posts in 2953 days


#7 posted 01-05-2009 02:05 PM

Very Sad!

I sure hope he doesn’t turn on you.

-- -** You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream ****************** Dick, & Barb Cain, Hibbing, MN. http://www.woodcarvingillustrated.com/gallery/member.php?uid=3627&protype=1

View Andraxia's profile

Andraxia

133 posts in 2163 days


#8 posted 01-05-2009 02:21 PM

He turns me on so far as to dominate him as a prime candidate for Dexter.

I never liked him, always felt an unease around him, now I know why.

-- The wood slayer - Yes dear I did plan to make more kindling out of that wood I have been drying for the last year - honest!

View jockmike2's profile

jockmike2

10635 posts in 2900 days


#9 posted 01-05-2009 02:30 PM

Letting anger build inside you is never good. It will kill you just as much as someone beating on you. Find a support group and start going to it. If only to deal with your own feelings about this. Maybe after a while you can convince your friend to go with you. The best teacher is by example. Turn it over to your higher power, you cannot do anything to change someone else, no matter how much they need changing. Your friend,

-- (You just have to please the man in the Mirror) Mike from Michigan -

View woodworm's profile

woodworm

14125 posts in 2245 days


#10 posted 01-05-2009 02:41 PM

Do not do just any types of work when in anger.
Release it by comming to this place for instance :

-- masrol, kuala lumpur, MY.

View Scott Bryan's profile

Scott Bryan

27251 posts in 2476 days


#11 posted 01-05-2009 03:39 PM

Andraxia, I am glad to hear that you weren’t hurt more seriously. As you are no doubt aware now we should only be using power tools when we are able to concentrate on what we are doing. I also want to applaud you for the support that you gave. Your friend obviously is in denial about the situation and until she better understands herself and why she chooses to remain in the abusive relationship, she is going to continue to need your love and support.

Thanks for sharing this personal story and please be safe.

-- Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful- Joshua Marine

View SteveKorz's profile

SteveKorz

2131 posts in 2368 days


#12 posted 01-06-2009 12:10 AM

Andraxia,

I have to agree with your lesson… anytime you are mad or not completely focused, woodworking is a bad choice. (maybe reading would be better… lol)

As far as your friend goes, remember that now the cat is out of the bag and her secret isn’t a “secret” anymore, she needs your undying support. Your support is probably all she has. If you judge her or her husband in anger, you may turn her away and back to the person that is doing the most damage to her. Lew is right, there are lots of services in your community that will be able to help and provide her (or even you) with resources. If you are confused where to begin, talk with your local victim witness coordinator in the courthouse or county building where you live. They can point you in the right direction. I’m sure Australia has different names and processes than in the US, but nonetheless, I’m sure the community would have services there.

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) †

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